What is a Platonic Parenting Arrangement?

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Platonic Parenting More Common Than Ever Before

For those people who want children, the typical path to follow is to find your soulmate, get married, have children and have a family. However as our society has evolved and changed, so has the definition of family. The relationship status including gender and whether or not two people are married is no longer a defining issue in becoming a parent. Many people are more focused on wanting children rather than in finding that special someone to have a romantic relationship with. Platonic parenting is becoming more and more common.

What is platonic parenting? It is when two, (or even more than two people) decide to commit to raise a child together, yet have no romantic involvement. This trend was initially spearheaded within the LGBTQ community. Until fairly recently same gender folks could not legally marry, and if one of the couple had a child and they were raising him or her together, they did not have the support of the court system to help if they were to split up.

Platonic parenting or co-parenting is now much more common with couples who have been married and decide to divorce. This arrangement works for parents who mutually agree to put aside their differences and while they are no longer married, decide to focus on raising happy, healthy children who know they are loved and supported by both parents. Shaheen Cronin, a family coach and attorney from Michigan who is co-parenting with her ex says she has accepted that her ex partners choice of a new partner is not a reflection on her. Rather it is a positive addition to her children.

Single Parent Vs. Platonic Parenting

She states, in a recent article in The Guardian, “I learned not to focus on what my ex and his new family were doing, but rather, how and what my children were doing. I have also learned along the way to let go of the past because it only poisons my present.”

Platonic parenting is not limited to people in the LGBTQ community, or to married couples who no longer wish to remain married. Many single people who just have not found a romantic connection yet want to be parents are reaching out to friends or networking with their friends to help them find a partner to raise a child.

Of course being a single parent is an option, but many people want to provide a loving network for a child that includes two parents. For those who are not successful in finding someone they know to raise a child with, there are websites specifically for matching two individuals who would like to pursue platonic parenting. Among others, CoParents.com, FamilyByDesign, and Modamily are dedicated sites for platonic parenting matchmaking.

Parenting Agreements Require Legal Counsel

Often the child is conceived through in-vitro fertilization or artificial insemination and the child is raised by both parents. Arrangements vary from family to family, with some parents electing to live together although continue no romantic involvement, or they may elect to live in two separate household yet share custody.

If you are interested in pursuing a platonic parenting arrangement, whether you are divorced or seeking a non-romantic relationship with someone else to raise a child with, there are many issues to consider. First and foremost you should seek legal counsel and come up with an agreement about finances living situation, wills and other issues . Of course you will have discussed your values and your goals for the child you will be raising. Make sure you are able to communicate well with the other parent, whether be in person conversation, emailing, calling, or texting. Other discussions to have with your co-parent is how to handle things if one of you does become involved with someone romantically.

Establishing ground rules in advance and discussing them with other family members so everyone knows what your family will look like is crucial. The important thing is for the child to have a peaceful, happy childhood filled with good memories, even if his or her family might look a little different.

Each State may perceive this type of parenting arrangement quite differently. Before entering into such an agreement, be sure to meet with an attorney well experienced with divorce and family law issues where you reside. While this concept may sound intriguing and novel, this type of arrangement in most states may be fraught with danger like a ticking time bomb!

Experienced and Trusted Dayton Divorce Lawyers

If you find yourself in this situation, our experienced Dayton divorce lawyers at Holzfaster, Cecil, McKnight & Mues may be able to assist you. Call us at (937) 293-2141. to schedule an in-person conference or one over the phone or via Zoom.