Contemplating a Divorce? 5 things NOT to do!
Here are 5 things NOT to do if you are contemplating a divorce:
Number 1: Don’t Tell Everyone the News…
As much as you might want to discuss the news that you and your spouse may be headed for a divorce, bite your tongue. Do your best to try to stay calm, and not talk about it with all your friends and family. I can’t tell you how many folks I see to discuss a “possible” divorce that manage to resolve the impending crisis and remain married. By sharing the “dirt” at the thought of divorcing, you may end up poisoning your spouse’s relationship with others and damage your relationship if things are patched up.
Number 2: Don’t Retaliate…
Emotions can run very high when a person learns that a divorce may be in the near future. Do your best to curb those emotions! If you can’t sleep and the anxiety is overwhelming, be sure to go see your family doctor. I had one client who believed her husband was having an affair at work, so she cut off every button on all of his dress shirts. Another one who moved out, sprayed the entire house with the other woman’s cheap perfume on her departure. (She regretted it later, as they got back together and remained married!) Be wise. Courts are not impressed by these acts of retaliation! In fact, opposing counsel may be able to use it as an example of your mental instability which could end up hurting you later if custody is involved.
Number 3: Don’t Take Divorce Advice From Family or Friends…
While receiving emotional support from family and friends might be helpful, taking legal advice from them likely will be a big mistake! Every divorce case is different, Courts and Judges have different positions on the same type of issues. Courts views change over time and a slight factual nuance may change the result 100%. Interview several well experienced divorce lawyers where you live, and hiring the one that answers all of your questions and gives you the greatest comfort level is the prudent way to go!
Number 4: Don’t Discuss Divorce Issues in Front of the Kids…
Never use your children as pawns. Children hearing parents argue or even overhearing divorce discussions, can negatively impact children for long periods of time. Zip it! Don’t do it! Arrange a time to meet at a place away from the kids for these discussions. Regardless of your feelings of anger, pain and disappointment, don’t drag your kids into the middle of the divorce. No matter their age, they are not a “juror” whom you are trying to sway to your side. Your divorce lawyer can give you specific advice about this subject if you feel the need to involve your children for any reason.
Number 5: Don’t Do Anything You Might Regret Later…
Here is my last “catch-all” category for this blog article today. Obviously, there are many many more “don’ts” I could write about. But if you think about it, most would fall into this group.
Stay off social media. Do not post negative things about your spouse or info/pictures of you having a wonderful life. It is hurtful and can even damage your case in Court! Plus, what happens if you end up back together?
Don’t go out on a spending spree. Be fiscally responsible regardless of what your spouse may have done. The Court will likely see a chart at trial of your spending and as indicated in #2 above, they won’t be impressed!
Don’t make snap decisions. Recognize that you are going through a very difficult time emotionally. Understand your feelings and that your usual sound judgment is likely off kilter. Write out your thoughts and think about them for a day or two. Better yet, discuss them with your therapist and divorce lawyer before you act.
Our Trusted and Experienced Divorce Lawyers Are Ready To Assist You
Our experienced Dayton divorce lawyers at Holzfaster, Cecil, McKnight & Mues can assist you with your divorce or dissolution related issues. To learn more, please go to our website at www.hcmmlaw.com or call us at 937 293-2141. We can schedule an in-person conference or one by phone or Zoom. We look forward to assisting you!
© 2022, Ohio Family Law Blog. All rights reserved.
Attorney Robert “Chip” Mues has been focusing his legal practice throughout Southwest Ohio primarily in divorce and family law matters since 1978. Chip is passionate about family law and has proudly published the Ohio Family Law Blog since 2007. In addition, he is the managing partner of Holzfaster, Cecil, McKnight & Mues. To learn more about him or the law firm, visit the firm’s website at www.hcmmlaw.com. Appointments are available in person, over the phone or by Zoom. Call us at 937 293-2141.
