Here are Some of the Worst Things that You Can Do After a Divorce!

Important “Don’t Dos” Post-Divorce Checklist Could Be Crucial In Healing From Painful Divorce Proceedings

Should you use a Post-Divorce Checklist? How about Tips to Avoid!

Typically going through a divorce is a “bad” experience. Often times these are very long painful proceedings. A couple of years ago I posted a blog article titled “A Post-Divorce Checklist“. Here is a link to that article. Below is the flip-side to that post!

Here are 8 “Don’t Dos Post-Divorce.”

1. DON’T EXPECT YOUR EX TO BE REASONABLE

   If your Ex was not reasonable during the divorce, it is likely that his/her “reasonableness” level won’t have changed after the divorce is finalized! So, that means to plan accordingly. Try to plan way ahead so you can get your divorce lawyer involved if necessary. But always do your best to maintain a positive relationship with your Ex after the divorce.

2. DON’T TRY TO GET EVEN WITH YOUR EX

   No matter how miserably you were treated during your marriage, never try to retaliate after the case is over! It likely will come back to bite you! I can share many many stories of former clients who thought that when the case was over that they could key their Ex’s car or post nasty information on Facebook or Social medial platforms. Such conduct is immature and in fact could even end up being illegal or having a Protection Order being issued against you. Be smart. If you question whether the action might get you in trouble – Just DON’T do it!

3. DON’T AVOID COUNSELING

   I am a strong proponent of recommending counseling for clients both during and after a divorce. [Check out the Post-Divorce Checklist  blog mentioned above.] Working through your emotional divorce baggage is extremely important. A therapist can be very effective in that regard. Divorce can paralyze many people for a long time. Don’t allow yourself to become a “victim”!

4. DON’T START DATING RIGHT AWAY

   Reconnecting with family and friends is a good idea, but jumping into a dating relationship might not be the most prudent thing. Typically, folks need some time to process the divorce and “reconnect” with themselves. Regardless of the reason for the breakdown of the marriage, try some introspective self-evaluation and try to lay out a plan of bettering yourself as you move forward. Typically, this all takes a bit of time to process.

5. DON’T ALIENATE THE KIDS FROM THE OTHER PARENT

   This is one of the worst things any parent can do! Alienation of a child from the other parent can cause the child long term psychological damage! There are many books and articles discussing this situation. Kids should never have to pick sides in a divorce. Don’t tell the children all the many bad things that their Mother or Father had done in the past. Therapy for children after a divorce may also be smart. A therapist will be a neutral person to help the child “off load” emotional baggage that they may be experiencing.

6. DON’T FOCUS ON THE NEGATIVES

   About half of all marriages end in a divorce. Don’t beat yourself up if yours unfortunately breaks down. Figure out a plan to make yourself a better, stronger person from the experience. A certain amount of sadness is normal of course, but you need to maintain your physical and emotional health. See your doctor if you can’t eat or sleep or if it is causing work related issues. ;

7. DON’T BLOW-UP YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNT

   I touched on this in #2 above. Clearly don’t try to stalk or follow what you Ex is now doing or posting on his/her social medial accounts. Further, try your best to personally “lay low” with your own postings for a period until you are recovered from the divorce trauma. Posting at night when lonely or after drinking alcohol is likely a mistake. Those posts too may come back to bite you later on. ;

8. DON’T GO ON A SPENDING SPREE

   Be careful and watch your budget. Typically, there is never enough money to divide comfortably between two households in a divorce. Buying “things” may seem like it might make you happier in the moment but likely won’t when you get the bill! With now one income in the household, work on a new budget and be cautious of excessive spending.

These are just a few tips of things to avoid! Try to stay active and maybe hit the gym or start a new hobby. Give yourself space and time to heal. Be kind to yourself. You deserve it!

Experienced, Trusted and Professional Dayton Divorce Lawyers

Our experienced Dayton divorce lawyers at Holzfaster, Cecil, McKnight & Mues can assist you with your divorce or dissolution related issues. To learn more, please go to our website at www.hcmmlaw.com or call us at 937 293-2141. We can schedule an in-person conference or one by phone or Zoom. We look forward to assisting you!

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