What Do I Do if My Ex Refuses to Follow the Terms of Our Final Decree of Divorce?

Filing a Contempt Motion Against Your Ex: The Pros and Cons

Your Ex Could be Held in Contempt Motion for Failure to Comply with a Divorce Court Order

Divorce cases can often continue to create headaches for the parties long after the Final Decree of Divorce has been issued. Sorry to perhaps be the bearer of bad news! Some individuals will refuse to follow Court Orders no matter what the issue or how clearly it is stated in the Court Order.

Some Ohio Courts are becoming more sensitive to that reality and are channeling “high conflict” post decree cases to a different docket so that they receive greater attention including scheduling periodic review hearings (especially if the issue pertains to parenting time).

But, let’s go back to the basics first.

WHAT IS A MOTION FOR CONTEMPT?

The Court speaks through its Court Orders and Entrys. For example, the Final Judgment and Decree of Divorce sets out the specific terms the parties are Ordered to follow on each and every issue from parenting time to division of assets and debts. Technically,” contempt” is a disregard, or disobedience to the Orders or commands of Judicial authority.

For example, your Ex can not unilaterally refuse to pay the child support Ordered because he doesn’t like the person you are dating or thinks you are irresponsible with spending. They must pay the Ordered amount, or risk being held in Contempt of Court.

WHAT MUST BE PROVEN TO PREVAIL ON A CONTEMPT MOTION?

1. 1. The Party has Knowledge of the Court Order;
2. 2. They had the ability to comply with the Order; and
3. 3. They do not have a valid defense to justify why they didn’t comply with the Order.

You have the burden of proof to establish that your Ex failed to follow the Order.

WHEN SHOULD I FILE A MOTION FOR CONTEMPT?

Timing needs to be strategic depending on the issue and facts. There may be an inclination to file immediately at the first minor violation. Talking with an experienced Divorce lawyer is a wise move. Perhaps it would make sense for your lawyer to send a letter to your Ex (or their lawyer) advising them of the violation as an initial step?

A lawyer might suggest to hold off filing until there are several or repeated violations. Nonpayment of support is a frequent basis to file a contempt motion. Please understand that support isn’t technically due until the last day of the month. So, don’t pull the trigger prematurely regardless of how painful the payment delay is for you.

Another point that I frequently explain to clients in Ohio is that parenting time and support are not dependent obligations. Meaning that if your Ex doesn’t pay the child support as Ordered, you cannot deny parenting time as a punishment. Each is a separate independent obligation!

The Contempt Motion must also include an affidavit that explains in detail how the other party failed to follow the Court’s Orders. In addition, a Show Cause Order must also be served on the opposing party.

COURTS WANT PARTIES TO COMMUNICATE WITH EACH OTHER.

Now that the Final Divorce Decree  has been filed, presumably you are no longer represented by your lawyer. Learning to communicate with an Ex may be a whole new experience with the lawyers out of the picture. There are many books and blog articles about this subject. Counselors and therapists can also be helpful as well in this area. 

Also, you might want to look at AppClose as an online option. While AppClose is often used between parents in Co-parenting situations, there do not need to be kids involved to use it. It is also free. There are other apps available to help facilitate better civil communications between Exs, but I really like the ease of using this one.

In any event, do your best to try to remain civil in all communications with your Ex. Try to avoid all “hot button” topics and narrowly focus on the item in the decree that has been violated. Sometimes, simply inquiring about it will fix the problem. In others, having both sides read the actual Decree language is a helpful first start. Also, try to listen and communicate regardless how much you might hate your Ex now. Maybe your Ex is having a health situation or work loss that you were unaware of? Try to give it a fair chance to be informally resolved.

EVIDENCE OF COMMUNICATION ATTEMPTS IS IMPORTANT.

Your lawyer has 2 motives for encouraging you to communicate with your Ex. The first is that perhaps the 2 of you will actually resolve the issue! The second one is that documented evidence of repeated clear communications stating the violation helps improve the likely Contempt hearing outcome. It will also help to eliminate any argument about confusion or not understanding the legal words in the Court Order. So, be sure to keep copies of all emails, messages or texts about the problem issue.

PENATIES FOR BEING FOUND IN CONTEMPT.

On the first offense, the Court can impose the following:

1. Up to 30 days in jail;
2. A fine up to $250;
3. Court costs;
4. Reasonable Attorney fees; and
5. Make-up parenting time or other relief to make the movant whole.

Please also understand that ordering jail time is very rare especially on a first finding of contempt. The Court will frequently give a contemnor multiple chances to follow the Order before considering ordering jail.

CONCLUSION

There are many technical legal requirements to navigate to successfully prosecute a civil contempt motion. Don’t be lulled into a false sense of security thinking that proving contempt against your Ex would be “simple”.

I strongly urge you to schedule a conference with an experienced Divorce lawyer if you are contemplating filling a contempt motion. You will want to carefully calculate all the pros and cons of embarking down this path. Individuals should not be allowed to avoid legal obligations imposed by a Court. But, by the same token, there are significant strategic decisions to evaluate in addition to financial and emotional costs to consider.

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Do you need help with Ohio divorce, dissolution or possible contempt case? We can assist you immediately. To learn more, please go to our website at www.hcmmlaw.com or call us at 937 293-2141. We can schedule an in-person conference or one by phone or Zoom.

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