Tips To Help Make Visitation Exchange Go Smoothly For You, Your Ex, And Your Child
Visitation Exchange Involving Children can often be Stressful after Divorce. Tips to make Parental Exchanges Trouble-Free for all!
It goes without saying that in most cases divorce is a difficult and an emotional time, especially when children are involved. Even though you may have worked out the details of “sharing” the children the actual exchange of the child/children can be a stressful time and can bring out the worst in the parents. Remembering what you both want is in the best interest of the children is so important! This blog article is going to offer tips to help ensure that the swap goes well.
BE PREPARED IN ADVANCE
First of all be prepared and plan ahead so that your child has all that he or she will need at your ex’s house. It is a good idea to have clothes, toys, and school supplies at both residences, but there are certain items that will most likely need to travel back and forth. In order to make the transition easier, try to get everything ready in advance to reduce the stress. Make sure any medications are packed. Perhaps your child has a certain toy, blanket, or stuffed animal they can’t sleep without. Be sure they have what they will be needing for school, such as backpacks, paperwork, and lunch boxes. Your goal should be to be sure your child has a positive experience with your ex, and making sure he/she has everything they need will help to ensure a happier, and safer visit.
WHERE TO MAKE THE VISITATION EXCHANGE
Choosing the place to do the visitation exchange can be key. In many cases just dropping off at each other’s houses is simple and works. However, in many cases it does not. Perhaps one of the parents finds it too painful to go to the house once shared by the family. Or, if one of the parents has a new partner, it might be too uncomfortable to see the new partner.
Choosing a neutral place is often a good choice. Some cities offer a “safe” place for parenting exchanges such as outside of a government building, such as a police station, where there are cameras that would monitor anything that might go wrong. Unfortunately, in some cases parents have gotten into nasty altercations and although this is not something that you would think happen to you, if it should, having video documentation would certainly be helpful.
Personally, I do not recommend swapping the children inside a police station in most situations. Research shows that doing this might send a negative message to the child that there is trouble, and that the police need to be close by to intervene. Other places to consider for the swap, is at school which is usually a place where the child feels safe. Or you might consider a restaurant, or a library. If you are finding your ex is being overly difficult at visitation exchange time, you may want to consult your attorney and make the drop off location part of your custody agreement.
CIVILITY AND FLEXIBILITY
Take the high road and be respectful of your former partner. Perhaps you are running late to make the exchange for some reason. Be sure to reach out and let them know via text or phone call. When you “return” your child, try to send them back with clean clothes and anything that they might need for the transition. Try to keep the exchange as business like as possible.
This is not the time to argue or disagree! As tempting as it might be to vent at your ex, you don’t need your child to become a victim of a verbal war or negative adult discussions. If you keep to the basics, exchanging information the other parent needs to know, you will potentially avoid conflict. If you have a message to convey to your former partner, make sure you are the one to do it. Don’t make your child be the messenger. Your child loves you both, and doesn’t need to be caught in a crossfire.
CONCLUSION
Handling visitation exchanges can be stressful and fraught with emotion, especially early on when you are separating or divorcing. Working with an experienced family law attorney can be crucial in helping you establish a successful arrangement for all.
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Attorney Robert “Chip” Mues has been focusing his legal practice throughout Southwest Ohio primarily in divorce and family law matters since 1978. Chip is passionate about family law and has proudly published the Ohio Family Law Blog since 2007. In addition, he is the managing partner of Holzfaster, Cecil, McKnight & Mues. To learn more about him or the law firm, visit the firm’s website at www.hcmmlaw.com. Appointments are available in person, over the phone or by Zoom. Call us at 937 293-2141.