Helpful Tips Regarding Texting with your Spouse in a Divorce
Texting has become for many of us, a fast and easy way to communicate. However, when you are going through a divorce, it is important to rethink about texting your soon to be ex. In the past, I have addressed this issue, but I think it is important to designate a blog to specifically address texting and how it can impact your separation/divorce.
Did you know that the court recognizes text messages as admissible evidence? The judge’s final decision regarding alimony, custody, distribution of debts and assets, etc. may be influenced by texts that have been presented as evidence. You must be careful what you put in either an email or a text, or it may come back to haunt you. On the same note, while it might be tempting to post a snarky comment regarding your spouse on social media, such as instagram or facebook, don’t do it. Your spouse could use these posts against you in your divorce trial.
Below are some tips regarding texting with your spouse.
Texting is a fast way to respond to someone, but think carefully before you fire off a response to your spouse or ex if you are angry or frustrated. Resist the urge, and put your phone down for a while until you get your emotions in check. Easier said than done, but try to calm yourself. Try breathing exercises, or even better yet leave your phone behind and take a walk. Nothing positive will come from attacking your spouse via text. Remind yourself before hitting the send button, is this a text I would be comfortable having a judge read?
If your spouse is texting you rude or angry texts, remember you don’t have to respond.
However, it is a good idea to save the texts and print them off to show your attorney. If you don’t know how to do this, call your cell phone provider so they can help you save or tell you how to print off messages. Your attorney might be able to use these threatening or hurtful messages in court. Not responding to them will also show that you are trying to be reasonable and not engage in negative interaction.
Of course, the children are your priority and you have to mindful of how negative texts will affect them. If you are hoping to win custody of your children, remember you must exhibit that you are acting in the best interests of your child or children at all times. If the judge feels you are acting out of anger and frustration through negative posts or texts, he or she could take that into consideration when deciding parenting time.
Do use texting when confirming information about children’s schedules
Don’t rely totally on texting, but it can be helpful when used in a constructive way. Making sure you are both aware of children’s needs, such as making sure they have the right school or sports equipment, or that your spouse is clear on pick up or drop off times, etc. Use texting as a positive tool, before and after the divorce can be a helpful way to communicate.
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Attorney Robert “Chip” Mues has been focusing his legal practice throughout Southwest Ohio primarily in divorce and family law matters since 1978. Chip is passionate about family law and has proudly published the Ohio Family Law Blog since 2007. In addition, he is the managing partner of Holzfaster, Cecil, McKnight & Mues. To learn more about him or the law firm, visit the firm’s website at www.hcmmlaw.com. Appointments are available in person, over the phone or by Zoom. Call us at 937 293-2141.
