Gray Divorce – Legal Nuances for Seniors to Consider before Filing for Divorce

The financial implications for older couples, including the division of assets, health insurance issues, and disparities in post-divorce wealth.

For those of you who follow my blog, you know that I am a big fan of following and studying statistics. “Gray divorce ” is a term that applies to couples who divorce at an older age. “Gray divorces” are on the increase. I have posted about them previously from as far back as 2015.

Here are links to some of those prior Gray divorce blogs:

• Gray Divorce – Refocusing on Obtaining Experienced Legal Advice
• Gray Divorce Rates Continue to Rise!
• Gray Divorce and Hidden assets You Should Know About
• Tips for Lawyers dealing with Gray Divorce Matters
• Gray Divorce: Division of Retirement Asset Disparity

Key data on the rising rates of gray divorce, including insights from Susan Brown’s study.

While the divorce rate for younger couples is on the decline, since 1990 the divorce rate has doubled for couples over 55, and tripled for those over 65. Susan Brown, a sociology professor at Bowling Green State University and co-director of Bowling Green State University’s National Center for Family and Marriage, conducted an ongoing study of older couples getting divorced. She reports that “One in 10 people getting divorced today is 65 or older. That is remarkable. A growing share of aging adults will be aging alone.” People are staying healthy longer, living longer and marrying later.

According to the study only 7.7% of marriages in the United States have celebrated the 50-year milestone. Brown cited that 36% of American adults that are seeking divorces are 50 years of age or older. The researchers in this study projected that by 2030, the number of couples age 50 and over will increase by one third. Although Brown’s study, “The Gray Divorce Revolution” focused on Americans, this syndrome is not isolated to the Unites States. Canada, Japan, Europe, India and Australia all report similar increases.

Although the reason for older couples seeking divorce can be the same reason why younger couples get divorced, such as infidelity, abuse or addiction, there can be some reasons that are unique to those who have been in long term marriages.

The emotional and social aspects of gray divorce, including the impact of changing societal attitudes and personal fulfillment.

One reason is lack of intimacy. It can be physical or emotional but a lack of intimacy can lead to a feeling of disconnect and a reason why one or both partners want out. Often a couple who have been married a long time will fall into a routine and find it hard to break the cycle of doing things over and over the same way. As people grow older sometimes their priorities change and they decide they want to pursue different interests. Perhaps one partner is aiming for retirement and is ready to travel and explore other hobbies, while the other partner wants to continue to work. This can lead to discontent within the relationship.

Of course there is also the “empty nest” syndrome. Often times couples are so focused on raising their children and spend all their energy doing so. Once the children have left the house and are pursuing their own lives, couples have difficulty adjusting to life without children at home. Perhaps they stayed together for the sake of the children, and now they realize that they have not made each other a priority and it is time to move on in search of their own sense of fulfillment and happiness.

For couples who have been married a long time, the issues that need to be resolved can be more difficult than for couples who have not been married long term. One of the most difficult issues for older couples is the myriad of financial issues. According to Professor Brown, both woman and man can expect their wealth to decline by half. A decline in standard of living for a man is 21% and for a woman a decline of 45%.

Advice for those considering gray divorce, including the importance of consulting experienced attorneys and financial advisors

Although according to the study, women are more likely than men to initiate a gray divorce, yet they seem to fare worse. Many women in this age group have been out of the work force, and often have less work experience than their spouse, which translates to less potential for future earnings. In addition, there are health insurance issues to consider.

Because those who have been married longer typically have more finances to divide it can be complicated when figuring in other factors such as retirement plans and pension plans. In addition to having an experienced divorce attorney it is also very important to work with a skilled financial consultant to help a couple review their estate planning and to help navigate through the financial considerations.

In our present-day society, divorce does not have the same stigma for baby boomers as it once did. Many couples are just no longer willing to stay in a marriage just to keep it intact. Many individuals who find themselves in an unsatisfying marriage later in life are deciding to put their own happiness and well-being first.

We Would Welcome an Opportunity to Discuss Your Situation!

The challenges in these “gray divorce ” scenarios are significant. If you find yourself in this situation, our experienced Dayton divorce lawyers at Holzfaster, Cecil, McKnight & Mues can assist. Call us at 937 293-2141 to schedule an in-person conference or one over the phone or via Zoom.

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