PUBLISHERÂ’S UPDATE: Here is one of my favorites posts about when to file for divorce from back on December 10th, 2022! We have a ton of interesting articles in our archives of the Ohio Family Law Blog. Use our Search tool and enjoy a few oldie but goodies!
The perfect month For filing for Divorce is…
Divorce for the Holidays! The Perfect Time to File for Divorce?
This is the time of year that many people have this exact question on their mind. If you are old like me, perhaps you remember this song by the British punk rock band The Clash from 1982. Or if not, maybe later from a Levi’s 501 jeans television commercial shot in a pool hall.
Here are some of its memorable lyrics:
“Darling you got to let me know
Should I stay or should I go?
If you say that you are mine
I’ll be here till the end of time
So you got to let me know
Should I stay or should I go?
It’s always tease tease tease
You’re happy when I’m on my knees
One day is fine, and next is black
So if you want me off your back
Well come on and let me know
Should I stay or should I go?”
Click here to watch the Levi Jeans commercial including the song.
Why is January Often Referred to as “Divorce Month?”
There are many reasons that folks come in to my law office after the holidays to discuss the option of a divorce. For couples with children, often times they wanted to try to “enjoy” the holidays as much as possible before embarking on the process of divorce. Many have previously discussed divorcing and say to each other “let’s just get through the holidays.” They put on a brave face and power through the holidays for one last time.
For others the year end often brings a period of self-reflection and evaluation. The question becomes, “Am I really happy? Is this union really working out well?” Those can certainly be very challenging questions. If you find yourself in this situation, seeing a therapist is an excellent step in my opinion to help work through the process of improving your marriage or evaluating the “pros and cons” of staying together.
January being “Divorce Month” is Really a Misnomer
While the number of divorce cases typically rise each year in January, it really is more of a start of the “divorce season.” Getting divorced can be simple and quick in some cases, but complicated and time consuming in others. There are many options to consider and logistics to plan. Typically, considerable work has to be spent collecting documents, considering the best interest of the children and dividing assets and debts, not to mention figuring future support. All this can take time and energy to work through.
So, if one looks at the statistics it appears that more divorce cases are initiated in the first quarter of the year. In that sense, the month of January is more of a “starting” month for divorce transition planning.
There is No Perfect Time to File for Divorce
I meet with clients grappling with this debate whether to stay married or to divorce, all the time. Many hope that discussions with me will result in an epiphany and they will finish the conference knowing exactly how to proceed. Of course, I don’t have that power to impart that kind of wisdom, but I do share my knowledge and experience and provide feedback on their issues and problems.
If a client ultimately decides that pursuing a divorce makes the most sense for them, I will help them figure out a plan to proceed forward. I will tell most clients that there is “no perfect time to divorce.” It seems that it is always possible to come up with some reasons to wait for something else to occur. Nonetheless, in my experience, the best plan is to develop an exit strategy (typically in conjunction with a therapist). Obviously, if there is ongoing domestic violence, that exit plan needs to be implemented quickly!
Past Ohio Family Law Blog Resources
Below are 15 past blog articles we published on the Ohio Family Law Blog which might be helpful if you find yourself traveling down this road and trying to decide if you “should stay or if you should go.”
- How to Select a Divorce Lawyer (Part 1)
- How to Select a Divorce Lawyer (Part 2)
- Lingo You May Not Know From The Divorce World
- 12 Proactive Steps You Should Take if You are Contemplating a Divorce (Attorney Jason C. Brown)
- What to Bring to Your First Meeting with a Divorce Attorney
- The Importance of a Correctly Completed Affidavit of Financial Disclosure
- The Reasons for Utilizing Restraining Orders in an Ohio Divorce
- File for Divorce Now and Attempt Negotiations Later
- Divorce Filings Spike in January by One-Third
- Divorce: Choose and Manage Your Battles (By Donna F. Ferber, LADC)
- Divorce on your New Year’s Resolutions List? (Attorney Richard C. Price)
- Helpful Books for Children Going Through a Divorce
- When to Seek Professional Therapy and/or Counseling During a Divorce Proceeding https://www.hcmmlaw.com/blog/2008/09/06/when-to-seek-professional-counseling-andor-therapy-during-a-divorce-proceeding/
- How to Fix a Miserable Marriage https://www.hcmmlaw.com/blog/2022/09/10/fix-miserable-marriage/
- Divorce: How to Break the News to Your Children https://www.hcmmlaw.com/blog/2022/10/15/divorce-children-filing/
Conclusion
Figuring out “whether to stay or to go” can be very difficult. It is obviously a huge decision and impacts every part of your life. You owe it to yourself to evaluate this decision deliberately and with care. Get the decision right!
Understanding the divorce process and logistics ahead is an important consideration. Obtain sound legal advice from an experienced divorce lawyer! Spend time interviewing several possible divorce lawyers to find one who is both experienced and compatible communicating with you. If you decide to divorce you likely will want to hire a lawyer you trust and one you believe listens to your concerns and feelings. Strong communications is a key! I wish you well if you are faced with this dilemma!
Schedule An Appointment With One Of Our Experienced Dayton Ohio Family Law Attorneys Today
If you are considering filing for a divorce and live in Dayton or Southwest Ohio, our experienced divorce lawyers would welcome an opportunity to discuss your situation. Please review our website at www.hcmmlaw.com or call us at (937) 293-2141 to schedule an appointment either via Zoom, phone, or in person. We look forward to meeting you!
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Attorney Robert “Chip” Mues has been focusing his legal practice throughout Southwest Ohio primarily in divorce and family law matters since 1978. Chip is passionate about family law and has proudly published the Ohio Family Law Blog since 2007. In addition, he is the managing partner of Holzfaster, Cecil, McKnight & Mues. To learn more about him or the law firm, visit the firm’s website at www.hcmmlaw.com. Appointments are available in person, over the phone or by Zoom. Call us at 937 293-2141.
