Marriage Works Ohio Tip Of The Month by Author Mr. Sydney Battle.
Tip of the Month – Sept. 2014
“Expecting your spouse to be able to read your mind is unfair to them. Just as you don’t want your spouse to expect you to be able to read theirs. Spending time together talking is imperative. Utilize effective communication techniques to accomplish the true goal of conversing…to be understood, not necessarily agreed with. Agreement usually stems from mutual understanding and working toward a satisfying compromise for both spouses.”
Tip of the Month – Aug. 2014
“People, places, and things can and will distract you from your relationship. Be aware of these potential distractions, and possible pitfalls. Take great care to ensure you are devoting as much time and effort to your relationship as you are any other person, regularly visiting any particular place, or dedicating to any individual thing. The benefits of quality time spent with your spouse should not be discounted.”
Tip of the Month – Jul. 2014
“Sacrifice with the expectation of recognition and/or compensation isn’t really sacrifice at all. That’s giving merely to get and involves selfish motives. Give selflessly to your spouse without any expectation of receiving anything in return. That is true sacrifice.”
Tip of the Month – Jun. 2014
“Rarely do relationships drift into a happy, healthy place by happenstance. Healthy, happy, effective, mutually satisfying, and functional relationships are normally the result of active pursuit, hard work, sacrifice, and involvement by both spouses.”
Tip of the Month – May. 2014
“Don’t major on the minors in your relationship. Instead focus on the majors and continue building a relationship that works by holding fast to effective, positive patterns of behavior.”
Tip of the Month – Apr. 2014
“Graciousness in a relationship is a quality of major importance which is often overlooked. Your willingness to freely provide graciousness to your spouse when they need it greatly improves the chance you will be able to gladly receive it from your spouse when you most desire it.”
Tip of the Month – Mar 2014
“If you believe your mate owes you an apology, and you receive one. You in-turn should be willing to extend forgiveness to them. One without the other seldom results in the relationship moving in an affirmative progressive direction.”
Tip of the Month – Feb 2014
“A cycle of unconstructive retaliation will effectively destroy your relationship as fast if not faster than anything else. Be the first to break the chain of destructive behavior in your relationship. It will encourage your spouse to respond to you with the same compassion you are providing to them.”
Tip of the Month – Jan 2014
“You cannot control your mate’s attitude or their behavior. Influence, yes. Control, no. Spend your time and energy influencing your spouse by being the spouse you expect, and desire them to be.”
Tip of the Month – Dec 2013
“Spouses should regularly discuss their relationship needs with one another. Talking about the emotional, as well as physical needs that each of you have reduces the potential of leaving each other vulnerable to someone else meeting these needs. Doing so can diminish the undesired possibility of an emotional or physical affair from taking place.”
Tip of the Month – Nov 2013
“Engage in preventive maintenance of your relationship. Don’t wait until there is a break down before you begin repair attempts. Addressing small issues early can and will prevent them from evolving into major problems later!”
Tip of the Month – Oct 2013
“Surround yourself with, and seek out the support of other positive couples. Those consistently seeking to improve their relationship will more than likely have an encouraging, optimistic, and constructive influence on your relationship.”
Tip of the Month – Sept 2013
“Life can be filled with stress, tension, anxiety, disappointments, and other emotionally draining feelings and experiences. Create opportunities to relax, bask in and enjoy the company and companionship of one another. Laughing together can also reverse the negative mood created by unpleasant feelings and experiences.”
Tip of the Month – Aug 2013
“Do you and your spouse know what one another’s Love Language is? Find out! When you begin speaking to your spouse in their Love Language they will be encouraged, and motivated to speak to you in yours!”
Tip of the Month – Jul 2013
“Begin and end each day with a kiss. Recent studies have shown that the amount of kissing done by couples correlates to the health of their relationship. Shower one another with a variety of different kisses. A quick peck on the cheek, a gentle kiss on the forehead, or a passionate lip lock can have a positive impact on your relationship and kindle increased feelings of intimacy.”
Tip of the Month – Jun 2013
“Continue courting and dating your mate. The best way to keep your spouse’s heart is to continue to do, and improve upon the very things you did to win their heart in the first place.”
Tip of the Month – May 2013
“Allow your commitment to your spouse to be the glue which holds you together during turbulent times in your relationship. Weathering the storm together can effectively increase your bond and permit the two of you coming out of the storm stronger than you were before it hit.”
Tip of the Month – April 2013
“Work toward diffusing any arguments or disagreements you may have in an amicable manner. Couples that fight fire with fire only succeed in burning up their relationship twice as fast.”
Tip of the Month – February 2013
“Growing together as opposed to growing apart
Do you know what your spouse’s love language is? What is yours? In the book “The Five Love Languages” written by Dr. Gary Chapman, he informs us of five primary styles couples use to both show and receive love. They are: Quality Time, Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation, Gifting, and Touch. Learn your and your spouse’s love language to promote continued growth together in love as opposed to growing apart in dislike.”
Tip of the Month – January 2013
“Re-igniting the spark of romance
How often do you and your spouse partake in going out on a date? It doesn’t have to be an expensive outing, but rather some quality one on one time spent together. Try to see who can come up with the most fun activity with the lowest possible associated costs. A relationship should not become old, stale, and stagnant although often times it feels as though it has. What are you doing to maintain the vitality of your relationship? Regular relationship maintenance and upkeep has to be performed to prevent the relationship from becoming blah! Remember, whatever was done to win your spouse’s heart should be continued to keep your spouse’s heart!”
Tip of the Month – December 2012
“Reframing
Disappointments will inevitably occur in your relationship. Try to view whatever has occurred from a positive point of view. Remember…it isn’t what occurred that dictates how you feel about the occurrence. It’s the story you tell yourself about the occurrence that will determine how you feel”
Tip of the Month – November 2012
“Thinking your way to change (attitude)
If you are caught in the rut of having a negative attitude about your spouse, or your relationship, a great way to positively affect your attitude is to change your thoughts and behaviors. Think positively about your spouse, and do something nice for them without the expectation of receiving anything in return. You can “think and behave” your way to positive change!”
Tip of the Month – October 2012
“Time lost can’t be recouped
Time spent arguing, talking negatively, or avoiding one another is not only stressful and un-enjoyable, it is also time wasted that can never be regained. Make the most of every second, minute, hour, and day that you have with your spouse. Make every moment count!”
Tip of the Month – September 2012
“Cherishing one another
Make every attempt to avoid complacency in your relationship. A good way to do this is to daily remind yourself of the “good” your spouse adds to your life and relationship. Another way to maintain positive thoughts is to imagine the void that would be left in your life in the absence of the one you love. Taking your spouse for granted is one of the truest ways to cause relationships to digress. Letting each other know that you cherish one another is a great way to reverse the ill effects of having become complacent.”
Tip of the Month – August 2012
“Loving when you don’t feel like it
One of life’s most difficult challenges occurs when we decide to commit our life to another in a committed relationship. The trying times that occur in a relationship provide us with opportunities to exercise committed, unconditional, true love. For a muscles to grow, or to prevent atrophy they must be put under stress, and used regularly. View the tough times in your relationship as an opportunity to exercise your “love muscles.” View them as enriching opportunities to intensify and deepen your love. As occasions to promote growth, to strengthen, and increase the resilience in your relationship.”
Tip of the Month – July 2012
“The effect of a healthy relationship of children
Children will hear what you say, some will do what you say, but most will do what you do. Ask yourself; am I the man or woman I want my son or daughter to eventually marry? The role of mothers and fathers is monumental in the lives of children as are the roles of husbands and wives. What you live you learn, what you learn you practice, and what you practice you have the potential to become. What are you teaching your children?”
Tip of the Month – June 2012
“Feel affection for. Adore. Be devoted to. Find irresistible. Be extremely fond of. All of these words share a commonality in that they can be used to state how we may feel about our spouse. It isn’t hard to figure out that the word is love. No matter how you say it or the words you choose, make sure you tell your spouse that you love them today.”
Tip of the Month – May 2012
“Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be – Abraham Lincoln. Be careful in your relationship not to become caught up in a negative feedback loop! The more unhappy I feel, the more I feel like making my spouse or partner unhappy. Purpose in your mind to be happy, and be motivated to be a source of happiness for your spouse or partner! Let the smiles, joy, and laughter you cause be your motivation to continue making each other happy!”
Tip of the Month – Apr 2012
“How do I love thee, let me count the ways…..When asked to make a list of reasons why they should stay together, the couple began to write on the paper provided by the counselor. The wife filled out one and a half sheets and noticed her husband was well into page three! Not being able to take it any longer after he flipped to page five, she abruptly took his pad to see what in the world he could have been writing. On each line of every page there were only three words written over, and over again……I Love Her! How do you count the ways?”
Tip of the Month – Mar 2012
“Many of the disputes and arguments engaged in by couples could be averted if the conversation was approached with a different goal in mind at the outset. As opposed to striving for an unyielding agreement from your spouse or partner, make a valiant attempt to gain a clearer understanding of what they are saying. A person who feels heard and understood is more apt to return the same level of receptivity and openness leading to more effective and improved communication.”
Tip of the Month – Feb 2012
“In raising children it has been said: some children do what you say, some children will hear what you say, but most children will do what you do. As parents and spouses, one of the questions my wife and I often ask ourselves as well as others is, “are you the husband or spouse, man or woman, you desire your son or daughter to grow up to be?” Our children are looking to us to set the example for them to either follow or avoid. Which example are you providing for your children?”
Tip of the Month – Jan 2012
“Being willing to discuss what it is you want or expect from your spouse or partner is advantageous in a relationship. Often unspoken expectations partnered with unrealistic expectations are major causes of why our expectations lead to disappointments. Remember the acronym HOW when discussing your expectations. Talk Honestly, Openly, and Willingly with your spouse to avoid the pitfall of your expectations leading to disappointment.”
Tip of the Month – Dec 2011
“In the technological age that we live in, many times the devices we most often use and sometimes rely on will malfunction. Almost all will, at one time or another, require either a hard or soft resetting of the system to resume normal functioning. Our feelings and emotions are somewhat similar. After experiencing different feelings we sometimes require a resetting of our emotions. Resetting of emotions requires making a choice to not continue to “feel” a certain way. Your role in helping your spouse reset his/her emotions could be as simple as offering a sincere apology. Reset and return to your previous state of loving each other!”
Tip of the Month – Nov 2011
“I have found myself, with lack of complaint, walking up and down aisle after aisle of various items of home décor. I have been known to stand patiently and quietly holding the dreaded “purse” while my wife looks at shoes or clothing with the zeal and excitement of a kid in a candy store. On one of these occasions a young lady inquired of my spouse, “how did you get him to do that?” referring to my carrying her purse. With a smile on her face she responded to the young woman by stating…“He loves me!” If carrying your wife’s purse is the cost for spending time with her, I encourage every man to gladly pay it every time!”
Tip of the Month – Oct 2011
“The ability to give of one’s self without the expectation of receiving anything in return is the core of selflessness or being selfless. An excellent way to increase your self-esteem can be found in giving freely of yourself in time or service to another. Give your self-esteem a boost today and ask yourself, how can I display the quality of selflessness toward my spouse? Commit a random act of selflessness for your spouse and feel great about it!”
Tip of the Month – Sept 2011
“Compassion is the ability to demonstrate sympathy, concern, and empathy toward another. My wife’s concern for my well-being, her kindness, and consideration results in reciprocity. In other words…the more she gives to me, the more I want to give to her in return! Allow compassion to be contagious between you and your spouse. The best definition of empathy I’ve ever heard is: Empathy is feeling your spouse’s pain….in your heart.”
Tip of the Month – Aug 2011
“Insert your spouse/partner’s pet name), I’m sorry. Will you please forgive me? These seven words can often begin the healing process in a relationship after a terse exchange of words or actions. Humility in a relationship is vital. It is a life giving, love sustaining, and affirming quality that many possess, but all too often fail to employ with the person they love. Be willing to humble yourself in your relationship, and watch the healing power of love take over.”
Tip of the Month – Jul 2011
“Summer is finally here! Ahhhh! The season of yard work and gardening, exterior home repair and maintenance, and automotive upkeep, and VACATIONS! I encourage you to pay equal attention to the preservation of your relationship. Weed the garden of your heart of any negativity! Irrigate your spouse’s heart with the growth enhancing waters of love and kindness. Inspect the foundation and structure of your relationship to ensure both are still strong and solid. And lastly, don’t neglect a relationship tune or vacation which can keep things running smoothly and efficiently!”
Tip of the Month – Jun 2011
“When is the last time you looked deeply into the eyes of your husband or wife? Make time to sit quietly in close proximity facing one another. Hold hands, and gaze into each other’s eyes for a few moments. Broaden your perspective to take in more and more of your partners face. Notice any small changes that have occurred and how much your love each one. Times of appreciation such as these help us stay in love and enable us to fall in love with them over and over again.”
Tip of the Month – May 2011
“Resist temptations! Be mindful of the situations and life circumstances you place yourself in. Make certain you aren’t placing yourself in a temptation laden environment. If you’re attempting to shed a few pounds by monitoring your diet, the bakery isn’t the best place to buy your morning paper! Likewise, clubs, bars, and other venues frequented by potentially willing and available partners may not be the best locale for you to visit without your spouse.”
Tip of the Month – Apr. 2011
“Don’t waste time holding a grudge against your husband or wife. Attempt to forgive, reestablish trust, show love, understanding, and compassion. You will never be able to recapture the time lost spent holding the grudge! It’s gone forever! Time will continue to move on so it’s up to you how you choose to spend it. Angry and holding a grudge, or happy and in love. The choice is totally up to you.”
Tip of the Month – Mar 2011
“As you go through your day make a conscious effort to think positively about your spouse. Jot down your thoughts as they occur to you. At the end of the day, prior to turning in for the night, share the thoughts you have written down with your spouse. Let your other half know how you feel. Tell them how they increase the quality of your life. Feeling wanted feels so much better than the feeling of being needed!”
Tip of the Month – Feb 2011
“It is Valentine month. Carry your spouse with you in your heart when you are away from each other. Maintain a list of your spouse’s positive attributes and refer to it often. This list is very helpful to have during trying times of testing in your relationship. We will all have times when we require encouragement or reminders of how our lives are made better by our spouse’s presence.”
Tip of the Month – Jan 2011
“A ‘Ladies first.’ How many gentleman learned this rule as young-men, and have uttered those words? Being willing to place the wants, needs, and desires of your spouse ahead of your own is a good indicator of someone with a sacrificial spirit. Elevating the importance of your spouse’s needs above your own, and holding them in high regard is not only bonding, but provides a feeling of comfort, and security in your relationship. Be willing to sacrifice and say “you first” to your spouse.”
Tip of the Month – Dec 2010
“Are you in love, or are you committed? Many confuse wavering commitment with falling out of love. The heart of commitment is the experience of belonging to another person. Not as a possession, but as a gift to each other. Love and commitment are very similar concepts with significant overlap. When you say you love someone, to the same degree you will be expected to be committed to them. So, again the question is… are you in love or are you committed?”
Tip of the Month – Nov 2010
“How agreeable would you be to miss your favorite television program to sit and talk with your spouse? The need of staying connected in your relationship should outweigh any form of entertainment. Make sure you’re not allowing television and other sources of entertainment to get in the way of maintaining a solid connection with the person whom you plan on spending the rest of your life with.”
Tip of the Month – Oct 2010
“The leaves on the tress have begun to change colors. These same trees will soon undergo further transformation and begin to shed their leaves. Allow the changes taking place in environment around you to prompt conversation between you and your spouse about any changes the two of you have undergone, or anticipate in the future. Change can be difficult, and discussing it can often ease transition.”
Tip of the Month – Sept 2010
“Rush, rush, get the kids ready to go back to school, complete those last minute summer projects, go on that final camping trip/vacation, and collapse into oblivion. “Oh, yeah my marriage”…Be sure to connect with your partner on a daily basis amidst the chaos of everyday life, even if for a few minutes.”
Tip of the Month – Aug 2010
“As the heat of the summer often rises during August, so can emotions within our marriages. So…as you and your partner cool down with a glass of ice tea, beside a pool, or in your air conditioned home….cool those emotions with calming kind words of affirmation to one another. I promise you both will “feel” a fresh breeze within your relationship.”
Tip of the Month – July 2010
“Take a moment to look at your wedding rings with your spouse; and talk about what the rings mean to each of you personally in a positive manner. Reaffirm your love for one another through this experience.”
Tip of the Month – June 2010
“Spend some time really listening to your spouse, not just with your hearts, but with your eyes, your heart, and your body language. It is when we feel truly heard by someone, that we often feel truly loved by that person.”
Tip of the Month – May 2010
“As spring awakes new life all around us, awaken a new beginning in your marriage. Forgive past hurts, apologize even if you were not wrong and move towards a new life with your spouse. Apologizing and forgiving frees us to do just that: move towards a new life.”
Tip of the Month – Apr. 2010
“Every time it rains this month, let that be a reminder of the nourishment the rain provides the earth; and to think about ways you can nourish your marriage. Say a kind word to your spouse, hold hands with your spouse,do something you used to enjoy when you were dating, but “nourish your marriage”, if you indeed want it to “grow””
Tip of the Month – Mar. 2010
“Want to forgive your spouse/partner but just can’t seem to do it? Be challenged to have empathy toward them. The definition of empathy is “your pain in my heart”; so, feel your spouse/partner’s pain in your heart. Try it, it works.”
Tip of the Month – Feb. 2010
“Looking for connection in your relationship; then make sure to carve out time for you and your partner on a regular basis. Schedule a date on your calendar, just like you do doctor visits, parties,social engagements, children’s sports, and your job.”
Tip of the Month – Jan. 2010
“Instead of seeing who can talk the loudest in any relationship, try to talk softer and kinder with your partner. Remember the old saying that you can “catch more flies with honey than with vinegar”. Your words can either be as sweet as honey or as sour as vinegar. You choose.”>
Tip of the Month – Dec. 2009
“Be sure to verbalize your needs to your spouse, instead of expecting him or her to ‘read your mind’. If you would like your husband to bring you flowers, then just ask him to do so. If you want your wife to watch a ball game with you, then just ask her to do so. No one is a mindreader!”