Robert L. Mues, Author at Ohio Family Law Blog

Did Your Ex-Spouse Take the Easter baskets? resurrection after the crucifixion of divorce…

A person experiencing emotional healing after divorce

10 Steps Toward Emotional Healing After Divorce

PUBLISHER’S NOTE:

If you’re struggling with emotional healing after divorce, you are not alone. Often that paralysis is largely due to the trauma resulting from a high conflict and expensive legal brawl in divorce Court. I have seen the harm that the “win at all cost” attitude causes.

The first of this year, I formed MuesLaw to try to assist folks wanting to end their marriage to first consider the use of a more holistic collaborative divorce process before jumping into divorce litigation. I have learned that using this approach can be incredibly beneficial to help individuals transition to the next chapter in their lives in a much more healthy manner.

My philosophy about utilizing a more peaceful and mindful marriage dissolution process is not a new one. Below is a blog article that I first wrote 16 years ago!

Emotional Healing After Divorce? Let Easter be your Resurrection of Life

Holidays for those that have become divorced can be very difficult times. Easter is no exception. Have old memories of good times and happiness morphed into feelings of anger, regret and pain? We all know that Easter, in its most religious meaning, … Read More... “Did Your Ex-Spouse Take the Easter baskets? resurrection after the crucifixion of divorce…”

Blast From The Past: In Camera Interviews of Children in Divorce Court

Child caught between divorcing parents during custody dispute

An in camera interview in child custody cases allows a judge to privately speak with a child to better understand their needs without parental pressure.

In Camera Interview during Child Custody Cases: What Judges Are Really Listening for in These Private Talks

What is an in camera interview? The phrase “in camera” is a Latin term defined in Black’s Law Dictionary as: “In chambers; in private.” The interview does not involve a camera or a videotape at all! If a party is asking for the Court to have an in camera interview of a minor child, the request is for the Judge or Magistrate to interview the minor child privately with neither parent or his/her attorney being present. An Appellate Court in Michigan said it very well years ago . . .

“A child custody determination is much more difficult and subtle than an arithmetical computation of factors. It is one of the most demanding undertakings of a trial judge, one in which he must not only listen to what is said to him and observe all that happens before him, but a task requiring him to discern and feel the climate and chemistry of the relationships between children … Read More... “Blast From The Past: In Camera Interviews of Children in Divorce Court”

Did You Know That April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month?

Community volunteers supporting child advocacy program

What Is National Child Abuse Prevention Month?

TThe month of April is recognized as National Child Abuse Prevention Month. Every child has the right to grow up in a nurturing, safe environment where they feel safe, protected and valued. Sadly, this is not the reality for many children. In fact, the Children’s Bureau Maltreatment Report in 2023, reports that millions of estimated referrals of child abuse and or neglect were made nationally.

Child Abuse Prevention Month was established by President Ronald Reagan and his administration in 1983 in an effort to raise awareness about child abuse and neglect. Since 1983, the Children’s Bureau as well as other child welfare organizations have continued to spearhead this initiative to promote April as National Child Abuse Prevention Month. Their mission being to advocate for stronger child protection policies and to educate communities about what child abuse is and what they can do to prevent abuse and neglect.

Abuse Comes in Many Forms, Including:

Physical abuse: kicking, hitting, shaking, slapping, burning a child, or not allowing a child to use the bathroom, eat or drink.
Sexual Abuse: Inappropriate touching, incest, rape, or exposing a child to pornographic material or using a child to create

The Importance of Establishing a Budget When Your Marriage Ends!

Post-divorce budgeting guide - financial planning after separation

💰 Take Control: Master Post-Divorce Budgeting for a Stress-Free Future

The end of marriage is extremely difficult and for most people it creates anxiety about their financial future. Post-divorce budgeting is essential to ensure stability and reduce stress. It is important to plan for your future and have realistic financial expectations. Creating a budget is one of the most important things to do post-separation. The word budget can be a daunting word but there are so many resources that are available to you.

How to Create Your Post-Divorce Budget

Creating a budget can seem like an impossible task but it can be easier than you think. The best way to start creating your budget is to use this formula:

Monthly Income – Monthly Expenses = Monthly Surplus

Your monthly income includes things like salary, tips, and any other earned income. It also includes alimony and child support, along with any unearned income like interest from dividends and stocks or any other unearned income like social security payments. This should be the easiest thing to place on the budget. You should readily be able to see past paychecks and other payments to enter into the budget.

Your monthly expenses include everything … Read More... “The Importance of Establishing a Budget When Your Marriage Ends!”

If You are Ending Your Marriage and have Children, why a Collaborative Divorce Might Be the Best Route to Go!

Parents discussing a collaborative divorce with children in mind

If you are ending your marriage and have children, a collaborative divorce with children may be the best way to minimize stress and conflict

Terminating a marriage is always difficult from many perspectives. The typical notion of “winning” the battle deserves reflection. What is the real end goal? Is it to end up with more of the assets? Is it, paying less spousal support or child support? Or is it to arrive at a “fair” result while trying your best to maintain healthy relationships on your family members while reducing emotional stress all around? “Uncoupling” is never easy. Research shows that it can be especially difficult for children. This is why many parents are turning to a collaborative divorce with children, as it prioritizes their well-being while minimizing conflict.

As a result of my 40+ years of practicing divorce litigation, I would submit that utilizing a more collaborative approach to unwinding a marriage can greatly improve the emotional health of the parties, especially when kids are involved.

Strips Away Control

A more traditional divorce proceeding, involving litigation and the ensuing battles inherent in that process, strips control away from both parties. In the adversarial nature of Court divorces, you lose … Read More... “If You are Ending Your Marriage and have Children, why a Collaborative Divorce Might Be the Best Route to Go!”

Name Change Restoration Process after a Divorce in Ohio

Reclaim Your Identity: The Ultimate Guide to Name Change After Divorce in Ohio!

If you are a woman going through a name change after divorce in Ohio,, you may be thinking about reverting to your birth name, also referred to as your maiden name. Or perhaps you want to assume another former name such as from a previous marriage. Once you are divorced, it is not an automatic change. Also for men going through a divorce, even if you would like your ex-spouse or soon to be ex, to forgo your surname, this is not a change you can request the Court to do. It is the wife’s decision.

If a woman wishes to revert to a different surname, then it should ideally be done at the time of the final hearing. Under the Ohio Revised Code, Section 3105.16 the Court has the authority to restore a former name if that is your request. It is simple to complete by filing a Restoration of Former Name Entry then (or some Court’s allow a 30 day window to file this entry).

Once the divorce is final, and if you then decide that you want to change your name, you can still … Read More... “Name Change Restoration Process after a Divorce in Ohio”

Better Understanding Collaborative Divorce and the Role Certified Divorce Financial Analysts® Can Play

collaborative divorce certified divorce financial analyst

How Collaborative Divorce and Certified Divorce Financial Analysts Can Simplify Your Divorce Process

Ending a marriage is never easy. The emotional weight, the shared history, and the life that was once built together can make the process seem like an insurmountable challenge. While divorce is commonly associated with conflict and court battles, many couples are turning to collaborative divorce and Certified Divorce Financial Analysts to navigate the process more amicably. In fact, there are more amicable ways to end a marriage – ways that can protect both parties, especially when children are involved. One such approach is called “collaborative divorce”. This is a process where both spouses work together, along with their respective attorneys and other professionals, to resolve divorce-related issues outside of court.

The goal is to reach a mutually agreeable settlement through open communication, cooperation, and negotiation, rather than through litigation. In collaborative divorce, each party agrees to act in good faith and share information transparently, with a focus on finding solutions that meet everyone’s needs, finances, and future planning. This approach can help preserve relationships and reduce the emotional and financial costs typically associated with a traditional courtroom divorce.

How Certified Divorce Financial Analysts Support Collaborative Divorce

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