Robert L. Mues, Author at Ohio Family Law Blog

Three Costly Mistakes to Avoid in Your Divorce!

Listening To Advice From Friends And Relatives Not Always Wise In Divorce. Choose The Right Divorce Lawyer For Your Case!

No one expected that they would later be involved in a divorce when they married. But unfortunately, not all marriages are “forever”. Clients facing a divorce generally want it to be fair, drama free, inexpensive and quick.

As a Dayton, Ohio, family law lawyer for 40 years, I have lots of experience helping people in all kinds of divorce situations from relatively simple cases to complex high conflict cases. Here are some tips based on the experience that I have gained.

What are the 3 Top Costly Mistakes to Avoid in a Divorce?

Choosing the right attorney
Ignoring the divorce complaint
Listening to advice from friends and relatives

Choosing the Right Attorney

Divorce law is an extremely complicated practice area. I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to find an experienced divorce lawyer that you have interviewed and to whom you can relate. Interview several. Take the time to get recommendations from family and friends who have gone through a divorce in your area. Read online reviews. Not all attorneys are the same. Avoid at all costs the “generalist” … Read More... “Three Costly Mistakes to Avoid in Your Divorce!”

Same Sex Couples Count for the 2020 Census

Same Sex Couples To Be Tracked In 2020 United States Census

As of 2020, same sex couples will be officially tracked by the United States Census. For the record, same-sex marriage is legal in 19 states and in the District of Columbia. North Dakota has banned it. According to a Pew Research Report, this is the first time the United States Census Bureau will ask specifically for same-sex couples to identify themselves. Other questions on the form include age, sex, Hispanic origin, race, relationship status, homeownership status, and citizenship.

Rather than the usual under-representation faced by the LGBTQ+ community, same sex couples have apparently been over-counted by the Census Bureau. In past counts, the Bureau established the number of same sex couples by combining answers from the question regarding the respondent’s sex, and the question as to whether they had a husband, wife, unmarried partner, or no partner. The Census Bureau then combined those answers and determined whether a couple was considered same-sex or not. However, research into the 2010 census showed that the majority of same sex couples in the 2010 census were recorded as opposite sex couples in Social Security files. Additionally, 2020 will avoid a miscount by … Read More... “Same Sex Couples Count for the 2020 Census”

Blast From The Past: Lingo You Might Not Know From the Divorce World

Blast from the past 13 years Ohio Family Law Blog

PUBLISHER’S UPDATE: This “Blast from the Past” was originally posted on the Ohio Family Law Blog on August 15, 2008. I have updated it to add 9 new terms. This glossary is not a substitute for talking with your divorce lawyer about any of these divorce terms and the implications with your case.

What’s A Deposition? Common Divorce Terms [And Their Definitions]

If you find yourself involved in a divorce, custody case or other family law litigation you may run across some unfamiliar divorce terms. Here are some common ones with a short basic definition:

AFFIDAVIT – Information provided under oath. Often times pertaining to current finances, debts and assets.
CORROBORATING WITNESS – In a non-contested divorce proceeding in Ohio, you will need to bring a corroborating witness for the final non-contested hearing. That witness will have a narrow role to briefly corroborate the facts surrounding the grounds for your divorce.
BAILIFF – The judge’s assistant who helps with the court docket and often oversees the decorum in the courtroom.
CONTEMPT – An action requesting the court to punish a person for violating a prior Court order.
CONTINUANCE – A delay or postponement of a scheduled court appearance.

Tips on Dealing with Your Divorce Lawyer [And Why it Matters]

How To Get The Best Outcome From Your Divorce Lawyer

So, you have selected your divorce lawyer. Here are some tips for how to deal with him/her to hopefully achieve the best outcome possible.

Be Candid and Honest – Don’t ever leave your divorce lawyer in the dark. Try to be completely open about all the relevant facts whether they are good or bad. Disclose all assets and debts. Don’t try to hide assets. Honestly complete the required Financial Disclosure Affidavit. [Here is a link to an article about the importance of properly completing your financial affidavit.] If in doubt about anything bring it up to your lawyer! Remember that all conversations with your lawyer are confidential.
Actively Participate with your Divorce Lawyer – Fully cooperate with your divorce attorney and the paralegal(s). Become part of your team. Help him/her by providing requested documents and information as timely as possible. Your fees will rise if the lawyer has to repeatedly remind you to provide information. Don’t wait to the last minute either. You want your lawyer to have plenty of time to review it all and discuss with you any questions. Remember that how you communicate with your lawyer

Are Divorce Lawyers Just “Love Undertakers”? [A Rebuttal]

Divorce Lawyers Should Not Assist Clients With Mental Health Issues Says NYC Attorney

A well respected New York City divorce lawyer by the name of Val Kleyman recently sent out a newswire to divorce lawyers warning them “to be careful not to cross over into the role of personal therapist for clients. This is a common problem that does not get enough attention” Attorney Kleyman said. He added, “helping someone deal with their emotions, feelings and mental health is a very serious undertaking and must only be done by professionals who are trained and experienced doing this.”

While I agree with most of that, here is the point he made that hit me hard. “Divorce lawyers are the love undertakers. Unlike marriage counselors and therapists whose job it is to save relationships and help people heal, our job is to bury dead marriages quickly and efficiently before their toxicity spreads any further,” says Kleyman.

WOW, I have to disagree with Attorney Kleyman a bit on this one. This seems far too limited of a view of our role as a divorce lawyer in my opinion. I have been practicing family law and divorce work in Dayton, Ohio for 40 years. … Read More... “Are Divorce Lawyers Just “Love Undertakers”? [A Rebuttal]”

Blast From The Past: 10 Tips To Cut Your Attorney Fees

PUBLISHER’S UPDATE: Here is one of my favorites posts about attorney fees from back on August 8, 2009! The advice rings as true now as it did then…We have a ton of interesting articles in our archives of the Ohio Family Law Blog. Use our Search tool and enjoy a few oldie but goodies!

Tips To Reduce Attorney Fees And Save On Divorce Costs

I would like to share some constructive fee-cutting suggestions for you to consider implementing after you have done your “due diligence” in selecting the right attorney for you and your issues. Many of the cases I have handled over the last 30 years are family law matters which are engagements typically based upon the number of hours spent in the representation. The amount of time to complete these cases varies based upon many factors, including the nature of the issues, contentiousness of the parties, and the cooperation level existing between both counsel.

Recently, I have been asked by several clients what they can do to help reduce their attorney fees. Certainly, this is an excellent question especially with money being so tight and all of us having to deal with our poor economy. Each attorney would … Read More... “Blast From The Past: 10 Tips To Cut Your Attorney Fees”

Can I Demand Proof Where my Ex Spends the Child Support I Pay?

Can A Parent Request Accounting Of The Child Support Expenses?

This is a frequent question that I hear as a Dayton, Ohio, divorce lawyer. In Ohio, the short answer is “no” as long as the child’s basic needs are being taken care of. There are a few states (such as Washington) which allow for a parent to request an accounting of the child support expenditures.

In most states there is a common misconception that child support must be spent on things that ONLY benefit the child only. In Ohio, child support may be used to pay for a very broad range of expenses including:

Food
Clothing
Mortgage/rent of the home where the child lives
Utility bills, internet, cell phones
Medical expenses
Transportation and vehicle costs (including gas, auto insurance and car repairs)
Childcare/babysitters/camp costs/sports/extracurricular activities
School fees and supplies
Entertainment for the child
Any miscellaneous expenses that contribute to the general welfare of the child.

Does the Custodial Parent need to Account for the Support Money?

This is a corollary question to the one above. The general answer in Ohio is “no”. Nonetheless, if this issue is raised, it would be prudent to look back over the past month or … Read More... “Can I Demand Proof Where my Ex Spends the Child Support I Pay?”

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