Robert L. Mues, Author at Ohio Family Law Blog

Kids Say That Divorced Parents Should Pay The Same Amount For Child Support

I came across an interesting survey last month in the Gordon Poll Youth Survey published by the Wilmington Institute Network. Dr. Robert Gordon is the founder and director of the Wilmington Institute of Trial and Settlement Sciences. He is a past president of the Texas Psychological Association and is author of “On the Witness Stand.” He is both a clinical psychologist and a lawyer. The work of Dr. Gordon and the institute team has been featured on the MacNeil-Lehrer News Hour, ABC, Nightline, CNN, Fox News, Larry King Live, Good Morning America and USA Today.

The Gordon Poll Youth Survey focuses on family life issues. It is conducted for the benefit of parents, educators and members of the legal and mental health professions. The May 2009 survey was compiled from a sample size of 1,000 children between ages 14-18, and they are from a self-selected national sample that includes all 50 states.


The Question for May was: “In a divorce, how much money should each parent pay to support their children?” n for May was: “In a divorce, how much money
	Answers in %
Each parent should pay the same	40.22%
The parent who earns more should pay more

Children’s Extracurricular Activities A Delicate Balancing Act Post Divorce

In the second of a two-part series, attorney Robert Mues discusses the impact that a divorce may have on juggling a child’s activities and parenting time.

A recurring battle that I see in my family law practice is how to juggle a child’s extracurricular activities after a divorce. There is no black and white answer, of course, to this question. In many cases where there is shared parenting or both mother and father continue to communicate with each other and place the child’s best interest in perspective, both parents will attend the child’s after-school activities and will seamlessly foster the child’s continued participation in the activities no matter which home the child may be residing in. However, in a large number of post-divorce situations, especially in high conflict cases or where the parties do not live in close proximity with one another, continuation of extracurricular activities can present a major problem.

Oftentimes, I hear a non-custodial parent complaining that the custodial parent has enrolled the child in numerous extracurricular activities which prevent or impede the non-custodial parent from having any meaningful one-on-one parenting time with the child. Many courts throughout Ohio and other states have adopted a provision in their … Read More... “Children’s Extracurricular Activities A Delicate Balancing Act Post Divorce”

Children’s Extracurricular Activities Appropriate Or Excessive?

This is the first of a two-part series dealing with children’s extracurricular activities. Next week, I will address the impact the divorce may take on a child’s extracurricular activity schedule when the parents have conflicts with each other.

There is no doubt that extracurricular activities can be very beneficial to a child. According to a recent study by the Nellie Mae Education Foundation, children who participate in after-school programs are more engaged and have a better attitude about learning, perform better academically and enjoy an increased sense of accomplishment, competence and self-esteem. Additionally, participation also lowers children’s risk of becoming depressed, using drugs and alcohol, and experiencing other behavioral problems.

Recently, while researching this topic, I came across an excellent article about how to choose after-school activity(ies) for children at www.scholastic.com. It also gives a breakdown discussing appropriate types and numbers of activities per week which are recommended based on the age and maturity of the child starting with kindergarten through middle school. The article offers advice which will help a parent determine if it is time for their child to start an extracurricular activity, what’s the best option and how to find a good program.

Recently, Gregory Ramey, … Read More... “Children’s Extracurricular Activities Appropriate Or Excessive?”

Moms, Stepmothers and Grandmothers, Please Take a Bow!

NOTE: Due to its timeless nature, this article from the Ohio Family Law Blog is being republished from May 10, 2008.

Naturally Mother’s Day is a special day for families and especially for mothers. In this day and age however, there are often multiple females who may play a key role in a child’s life. Stepmothers and grandmothers raising their grandchildren as their own are now quite the norm. These women need to be recognized on Mother’s Day.

Stepmothers are often portrayed in a negative light. It is important to look at all sides, as a step mom often has to walk the tight rope. She has to carefully navigate the road so that she is an integral part of her new child or children’s lives, while still respecting the child’s need to honor and love their own mother. Grandmothers raising grandchildren as their own child has been an increasing occurrence in our society. Across the United States, more than 6 million children are being raised in households headed by grandparents and other relatives. In my opinion they should be nominated as saints! In addition to a child’s natural mother, a stepmother or a primary care giving grandmother can play … Read More... “Moms, Stepmothers and Grandmothers, Please Take a Bow!”

Divorce Calculator—We have an App for That!

Recently, while doing some research for another blog article, I came across a “divorce calculator” posted on the divorce360.com website. With their permission, I have added it to this article below. The calculator is intended for first marriages only. The calculator works by comparing peoples’ backgrounds to yours. You and your spouse might well end up with two different calculation percentages because each of you comes from different backgrounds. The website advises that the best way then to determine your risk for divorce as a couple is to average the two percentages together. The statistical information they use comes from “historical data based on information given by real people and collected as part of the U.S. Census”. Click here to read more about the calculator.

I am, of course, not in a position to comment on the accuracy of the calculations. There are, of course, many other important factors which are not taken into consideration by the calculator which could alter the percentages considerably. Nonetheless, check it out if you want.

I wonder if the new iPhone I see advertised on television (which says it has 25,000 applications available) has an App for this too.

Robert L. Mues

Attorney

Did Your Ex-Spouse Take the Easter Baskets? Resurrection After the Crucifixion of Divorce…

Holidays for those that have become divorced can be very difficult times. Easter is no exception. Have old memories of good times and happiness morphed into feelings of anger, regret and pain? We all know that Easter, in its most religious meaning, is the celebration of the resurrection of Jesus Christ. Some European countries stop the daily ringing of the church bell on Thursday in memoriam of the death of Jesus Christ. The daily tradition begins once again the early morning hours of Easter Sunday in commemoration of the resurrection. Devout Christians in America celebrate Easter in the spiritual manner, as do devout Christians all over the world.

But regardless of your religious beliefs, from a practical standpoint, Easter is about forgiveness, life, and in a sense, everlasting life. For those of us, however, who think about Easter in terms of the Easter Bunny, coloring eggs, surviving sugar-crazed kids, or spring break, Easter can still be a time of reflection and resurrection. If you feel that you have not been able to transition well from your divorce and are stuck in a negative emotional “time warp”, isn’t it time to commit to making a positive change? Or, in a sense, … Read More... “Did Your Ex-Spouse Take the Easter Baskets? Resurrection After the Crucifixion of Divorce…”

So You Want To Be A Parent…

In these challenging and difficult times, and with depressing news and economic turmoil seemingly everywhere, I thought it was worth re-publishing this humorous but poignant “Job Description” recently posted by fellow family-law blogger, Martha Milam, the publisher of the excellent Durham Family Law Journal. Click here to read and enjoy her blog!

POSITION:
Mother, Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Father, Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION: Long-term, team players needed, for challenging, permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends, including frequent 24-hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel is required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses are not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES: Job responsibilities continue for the rest of your life. You must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. You must be willing to bite your tongue repeatedly. Also, you must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat – in … Read More... “So You Want To Be A Parent…”

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