New Study Concludes that Divorce is Neither Good nor Bad: May Not Cause Kids’ Bad Behavior

Here’s a news flash. The “experts” disagree! Many well-respected studies over the years have concluded that kids are often negatively impacted as a result of their parent’s divorce. However according to Allen Li, of the prestigious RAND Corporation’s Population Research Center in Santa Monica, California, most kids are not seriously affected by the divorce in the long term, but a divorce raises the risk that a child will have future problems. Li presented his findings in Chicago April 26, 2008, at a meeting of the non-profit Council on Contemporary Families.

The study by Li was based upon a large sample-6,332 children. His methodology differed from that which was used by others in the past. He didn’t measure children of divorced parents with children of married parents. Instead, he measured behavior problems such as crying, cheating or arguing frequently, in children ages four to fifteen before and after their parents’ split. He describes it as a “longitudinal approach”. Li found a slight increase in bad behavior on post-divorce children but excluded the finding because it was so slight. In the abstract to his study, Li concludes “that children of divorce would have fared equally well/poor in terms of their emotional well-being … Read More... “New Study Concludes that Divorce is Neither Good nor Bad: May Not Cause Kids’ Bad Behavior”

Mother’s Day – A Very Special Day!

Naturally Mother’s Day is a special day for families and especially for mothers. In this day and age however, there are often multiple females who may play a key role in a child’s life. Stepmothers and grandmothers raising their grandchildren as their own are now quite the norm. These women need to be recognized on Mother’s Day.

Stepmothers are often portrayed in a negative light. It is important to look at all sides, as a step mom often has to walk the tight rope. She has to carefully navigate the road so that she is an integral part of her new child or children’s lives, while still respecting the child’s need to honor and love their own mother. Grandmothers raising grandchildren as their own child has been an increasing occurrence in our society. Across the United States, more than 6 million children are being raised in households headed by grandparents and other relatives. In my opinion they should be nominated as saints! In addition to a child’s natural mother, a stepmother or a primary care giving grandmother can play a pivotal role in a child’s life.

Kate Fogerty has written extensively about the challenges of blending families. In a piece … Read More... “Mother’s Day – A Very Special Day!”

Divorce’s Atomic Bomb: False Abuse Allegations

False allegations of domestic abuse are not just a phenomenon that routinely occur in the United States. Family law attorneys in Canada are similarly complaining about the unfairness and damage caused when a warring parent falsely accuses a spouse of abuse. Whether it is for revenge, to punish a spouse, or to attempt to gain an advantage in a custody proceeding, I see this occurring all too often in my practice. While domestic abuse should never be condoned, unfortunately there are seldom any recriminations for the false accuser.

According to Sarah Hampton of Toronto’s Globe and Mail, these common occurrences end up leaving many black eyes in its wake: for the accused, the justice system and especially the kids. She opines that the parent considering making a false allegation should give much more thought in advance about how it will detrimentally affect the children. The story, published on April 24, 2008, is an interesting read. Check it out.

Source: Divorce’s atomic bomb: false abuse allegations, Toronto Globe and Mail

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Improving Resiliency

Resiliency is a topic that I find myself discussing often with my divorce clients. I recently came across an interesting article on that subject which prompted this post. Resilience can de defined as the human ability to deal with, learn from, overcome and even be changed by the unfortunate but unavoidable adversities that life throws our way. Dr. Edith Grotberg, a developmental psychologist, has done extensive worldwide research on the subject of fostering resiliency. In a recent interview in the Palo Alto Daily News, Heath Matters: Resilience Can Be Improved Upon, by columnist L.J. Anderson, Dr. Grotberg stated that people are born with the capacity to be resilient, but the challenge should be to continually work to increase ones ability to be resilient so that when adversities present themselves, an individual is able to handle the situation.  She believes that the capacity for resilience can be strengthened in both adults and children.  She challenges parents and other resilient adults who work with children to help foster children’s resiliency.

Dr. Grotberg became interested in the study of resilience while teaching at the University for Women in Sudan, Africa. She was tired of having poor and less fortunate people being labeled … Read More... “Improving Resiliency”

Need Free Legal Help to Avoid Foreclosure?

If you are behind on your mortgage payments and facing possible foreclosure on your home, there is an excellent program that the Ohio Attorney General’s office has instituted. The new program is called “Save the Dream”. You can call their hotline for help at 888-404-4764. Hundreds of lawyers statewide have volunteered to provide free legal services for Ohioans to help them avoid foreclosure actions. Be smart and avoid all those predatory lending “quick fix” offers that you see advertised on television or receive in the mail. They will only put you in further trouble!

I Want to Keep the House, But Should I?

This is one of the questions I am asked all of the time. Of course, the correct answer is “It depends.” The home often accounts for a large percentage of the entire marital estate. Whether to retain the home after a divorce is often a very emotional issue, especially if there are children involved. It is natural that parents want to maintain as much stability for their kids as possible when going through a break up. One would assume that keeping the kids in the marital residence after the divorce is important. But interestingly, the psychological studies show that divorced children are not really affected by the retention of the marital home. The key factor is the stability of their parents, not what house they live in.

It is important to realize that unlike spousal and child support, property division terms cannot by law be changed after the divorce is completed. The first step in the analysis is to prepare an accurate anticipated budget and determine if it is feasible to pay the mortgage, taxes, and utilities. Don’t forget to consider necessary repairs and upkeep to the home. Hiring a housing inspector to evaluate these future costs often makes good … Read More... “I Want to Keep the House, But Should I?”

The Rise of the Use of Electronic Evidence in Divorce Cases

With the rise of the popularity of the internet, instant messaging, text messaging and the use of GPS systems, electronic evidence is being utilized more and more in litigation. Technology is having a huge impact on our lives and also the way many divorces are being litigated. Recently 88% of the members of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML) indicated that they have seen an increase in the number of cases using electronic data during the past five years. Emails were the most common form of electronic evidence offered in court according to AAML president, James Hennenhaefer. Electronic evidence is being used for many purposes including detecting hidden assets, financial misconduct and infidelity.

Antonia Love, a solicitor (attorney) from England recently warned the public that social networking sites are becoming the next tool lawyers will be using in divorce proceedings. She said, “People who use social networking websites to send flirtatious emails to people, who are not their partners, are often lulled into a false sense of security that they are doing nothing wrong because correspondence is electronic and therefore isn’t real life.” Snooping in another’s email account is not uncommon. A Google survey indicated that 27% of women … Read More... “The Rise of the Use of Electronic Evidence in Divorce Cases”

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