Children's Issues Archives - Page 2 of 9

How to Help Your Kids Deal with Tough Times

PUBLISHERS NOTE: While this advice by Dr. Ramey was geared towards kids, I think it also applies to adults going through “tough times” like a divorce. What do you think?

Should We Protect Our Kids From Life’s Tough Times Or Should We Only Help Them?

Bad stuff happens to our kids every day. Wise parents don’t go to extraordinary means to protect kids from life, but rather they help their children manage minor frustrations or major traumas. These are the ways I approach these kids in my office.

This will pass. Youngsters often think that the intense emotional pain they feel today will continue forever. Adults know that both good and bad times are transitory. It’s hard to explain that to kids, who may feel that you are discounting their feelings.
Avoid mis attribution. In trying to make sense of their parents’ divorce or being rejected from a basketball team, youngsters often come up with some very weird and inaccurate explanations. They may blame themselves or some irrelevant or random event. It’s difficult for kids to understand that the reasons why things occur are often unknown, and unknowable.
Get on with your life. People come to my office wanting to

Blast From The Past: The Role and Functions of a Guardian ad Litem in the State of Ohio

Blast from the past 13 years Ohio Family Law Blog

What exactly is the role of a Guardian ad Litem In the State Of Ohio?

PUBLISHER’S NOTE: “Over the years this GAL post has received a lot of interest. Confusion is commonplace for parents about the purpose of a Guardian ad Litem and how the process works. Let us know if you have any GAL issues in Dayton or Southwest Ohio.”

What is a Guardian ad Litem?

A Guardian ad Litem (“GAL”) is usually a lawyer appointed by the Court to appear in a lawsuit on behalf of an incompetent or minor party. In Juvenile Court cases and Domestic Relations cases, the Guardian ad Litem is appointed on behalf of a minor child or minor children in custody, visitation, and/or other disputed child-related issues.

What does the Guardian ad Litem do?

The Guardian ad Litem is appointed by the Court to undertake an investigation of custody issues, visitation issues, and other parenting issues before the Court. The Guardian ad Litem is expected to meet with each parent individually and to meet with each parent and the child or children to be able to observe the interaction between each parent and the child or children. The Guardian ad Litem is also … Read More... “Blast From The Past: The Role and Functions of a Guardian ad Litem in the State of Ohio”

Unexpected Benefits of Tough Times in Childhood

A man in his late 30s stopped by my office unexpectedly and asked me the most terrifying question you can ask a child psychologist, “Do you remember me?”

I looked at his face and quickly tried to imagine what he looked like as a child. He finally gave me his name, and I remembered him immediately. As a young boy, he had a horrendous childhood, growing up in multiple foster homes. However, he came by to tell me how well he was doing, both professionally and personally.

I fear he is an exception. Adverse childhood experiences resonate throughout a person’s life, placing kids at risk for a variety of physical and mental problems. Hundreds of studies conducted over the past 40 years have come to the same conclusions. Bad childhoods have long-term effects.

While we’ve extensively studied the negative impact of early childhood stress, might those same bad events have some positive consequences? I’ve just read a fascinating article by Megan Hustad in Psychology Today on the “Surprising Benefits for Those Who Had Tough Childhoods.” Hustad argues that there are an increasing number of studies that have discovered that bad times have positive effects on some kids.

Youngsters … Read More... “Unexpected Benefits of Tough Times in Childhood”

Divorce: New Sesame Street Videos Help Kids Deal with Trauma

For decades, Sesame Street has played on TV’s across the country, teaching children their ABC’s and 123’s, while also broadening their vocabulary, and increasing other academic skills. But now, Sesame Street is focused on another issue: helping children cope with traumatic experiences.

Children and Traumatic Experiences

A study conducted in 2016 found that nearly half of the children in the United States have experienced at least one traumatic or stressful event, including the death of a loved one, abuse, and divorce. The study also found that 1 in 5 of these children has experienced these events on more than one occasion. Click here to read the study.

How Can Sesame Street Help Children With Traumatic Experiences?

Children who experience traumatic experiences are more likely to develop posttraumatic stress disorder, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and even substance abuse. Early exposure to traumatic events affects the neurodevelopment of a child, which changes the way that they respond to stress and other experiences. According to the Department of Psychiatry at Saint Vincent’s Hospital in New York, “exposure to trauma also affects children’s ability to regulate, identify, and express emotions, and may have a negative effect on the way that a child views … Read More... “Divorce: New Sesame Street Videos Help Kids Deal with Trauma”

Why are Kids so Afraid of Being Real with their Parents?

Something I say to kids typically strikes terror in their hearts—“maybe that’s something you should discuss with your mom and dad.” My advice is often met with fear and rejection.

Within the emotional security of my office, children learn to trust and reveal what they are really thinking and feeling. They don’t have to worry about being punished or hurting my feelings.

They freely talk about their perceptions of not being good enough to live up to the expectations of their parents. Others discuss their resentment towards siblings or intense feelings of loneliness. Kids are acutely aware of marital problems, and they share the terrible anxiety of wondering if and when their parents will separate.

Adolescents typically discuss their fears about fitting in and figuring out relationships. Self-doubts overwhelm them, even if they appear well-adjusted and confident. Their outer persona rarely matches their inner life.

I’m glad that these kids feel safe to discuss such issues in therapy, but my job is to make myself unnecessary. I coach kids how to get support from others rather than to develop a dependency on a therapist.

Why are kids so afraid of being real with their parents?

My parents won’t understand. Many

Blast From The Past: Preventing a Parentectomy After Divorce

How To Prevent A Parentectomy After Divorce

PUBLISHER’S UPDATE:
Here is one of my favorites posts from back on June 27, 2009! The advice rings as true now as it did then…We have a ton of interesting articles in our archives of the Ohio Family Law Blog. Use our Search tool and enjoy a few oldie but goodies!

One of the most interesting and well written pieces that I have read in a long time is a keynote address presented by Dr. Frank S. Williams to the National Council for Children’s Rights in Washington D.C. on October 20, 1990. Dr. Williams is a noted child psychiatrist and the Director of Family and Child Psychiatry at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles. While this presentation was almost 19 years ago, Dr. Williams’ sage advice is no less relevant now than it ever was!

During my 31-year law career, I have focused a large part of my efforts both professionally and as a member of various community organizations and non-profit Boards towards diverse child-welfare related causes. So with that stated background, I whole-heartedly encourage everyone to read Dr. Williams’ presentation in full, by clicking here.

I will attempt to capsulate some … Read More... “Blast From The Past: Preventing a Parentectomy After Divorce”

Helping Kids Without Therapy

One of six children has a mental health disorder, but most of these kids don’t receive professional help for their problems. The reasons include parental ignorance, apathy, finances, or simply feeling bewildered by a complex mental health system.

Some of our neediest kids live in families with some of our neediest parents. Most are loving parents who are too overwhelmed trying to get through the day. Taking their child to weekly therapy appointments and making a myriad of changes is simply beyond what they can accomplish.

If you can’t get involved with a mental health professional, try one of these suggestions.

Make certain your child is getting enough sleep. Many of our kids are sleep-deprived. They may live in chaotic homes without a regular bedtime routine. Sleep deprivation has a big impact on kids’ behaviors. Your child may not have a behavior disorder, but rather a sleep problem.
Be clear about your rules and expectations. Kids have a hard time adjusting to expectations that are ambiguous and often change. Decide on a few things that matter. Be clear and specific about those rules, and make certain your child can say them back to you.
Be consistent in your consequences. Your

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