Here are Some of the Worst Things that You Can Do After a Divorce!

post divorce checklist tips

Important “Don’t Dos” Post-Divorce Checklist Could Be Crucial In Healing From Painful Divorce Proceedings

Should you use a Post-Divorce Checklist? How about Tips to Avoid!

post divorce checklistTypically going through a divorce is a “bad” experience. Often times these are very long painful proceedings. A couple of years ago I posted a blog article titled “A Post-Divorce Checklist“. Here is a link to that article. Below is the flip-side to that post!

Here are 8 “Don’t Dos Post-Divorce.”

  1. DON’T EXPECT YOUR EX TO BE REASONABLE

    If your Ex was not reasonable during the divorce, it is likely that his/her “reasonableness” level won’t have changed after the divorce is finalized! So, that means to plan accordingly. Try to plan way ahead so you can get your divorce lawyer involved if necessary. But always do your best to maintain a positive relationship with your Ex after the divorce.

  2. DON’T TRY TO GET EVEN WITH YOUR EX

    No matter how miserably you were treated during your marriage, never try to retaliate after the case is over! It likely will come back to bite you! I can share many many stories of former clients who thought that when the case was over that they

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Do Men or Women Typically Initiate a Divorce First?

women initiate divorce

Statistics say 70% of marriages in the US that end in termination are initiated by women, but what do the experts really say?

women initiate divorceWhen a couple decides to marry, they usually think their marriage will last until “death do us part”. Sadly though, that is often not the case. In the United States, roughly half of marriages end in divorce. Terminating a marriage is usually not something couples take lightly, and while it may be a mutual decision, the statistics show there is a clear pattern as to who makes the initial call. In the US, it is estimated that 70% of marriages that end in divorce are initiated by women. That figure rises to 90% when the woman is college educated.

So why is it that women are more likely to choose to proceed with a divorce than men? Heidi Kar, who is a licensed clinical psychologist and international mental health expert for the Education Development Center in New York sites that it is not a coincidence that the rise of divorce initiated by women coincides with women’s liberation. Kar says “Across cultures and geographies, women who are economically able to take care of themselves – which usually … Read More... “Do Men or Women Typically Initiate a Divorce First?”

Divorced? Are You Eligible to Collect Social Security Benefits off Your Ex’s Record?

social security benefits divorce retirement benefits

Divorced Spouse Can Collect Social Security Benefits Under Certain Conditions

A Divorced Spouse May Be Eligible For Social Security Benefits Once They Hit Retirement Age

social security benefits divorce retirement benefitsTypically, when a divorce is settled, so are the marital assets. Yet, not a lot of people know that as you reach retirement age, there may be one more benefit you can collect from your divorce.

In a MassMutual poll conducted in 2021, 30% of individuals didn’t know that a divorced person may potentially collect social security benefits on their ex-spouse, once they hit retirement age.

Back in May of 2016, we discussed Social Security benefits  after the divorce is finalized in our post, Social Security Benefits Can Be Maximized Post Final Divorce Decree, but with divorce rates highest among those ages 55-64, according to the US Census Bureau, it’s a good topic to revisit and reiterate, especially if you’re nearing retirement age.

Now in order to qualify for the divorced spouse Social Security Benefits, there are a few conditions that ”must” be met:

  • Your marriage lasted 10 or more years; and
  • You are at least 62 years and not remarried; and
  • Your ex-spouse is eligible for Social
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What To Do If Your Life Is A Mess After Divorce

mess after divorce

Mess After Divorce: It’s possible for you to love your life again.

mess after divorceIt’s a tricky, devious, exhausting struggle, this whole getting-over-a-relationship thing. And if you have been married, you know there is a lot more at stake than just a romantic hit-and-run. Marriage means you were vested in something bigger than just “two people in love.” So, if your life is a mess after divorce, it’s no wonder.

Think about what it’s like to pack up and move from a house you have lived in for 10, 20, 30 years. Now imagine the task as an effort to downsize.

Everything that was once neatly in its place (on cleaning day, anyway) is now…well…everywhere. Essentials, non-essentials, mementos, family heirlooms, favorites-for-no-good-reason. It’s all unearthed, waiting for a decision to be made on its destiny.

Your home is a mess. Your life is a mess. After divorce, this metaphor comes to life in every area of your existence. You don’t feel as if you are “just moving” (or that they are just moving) — you feel as if you have been foreclosed on.

Mess After Divorce: You have to move out of and move into. You have to divide, negotiate, relinquish.

You … Read More... “What To Do If Your Life Is A Mess After Divorce”

June is Men’s Health Month – Don’t Forget to Take Care of Your Health During a Divorce!

men's health month divorce

Should You Make Your Health A Priority After A Difficult Divorce?

Men's Health Month divorceDid you know that June is Men’s Health Month? During a difficult separation and divorce, men often do not make their health a priority, however they should. Here are some ideas on how to do that.

Be sure to get enough exercise. It doesn’t mean you have to take out an expensive gym membership. If you do have a gym membership and enjoy it, by all means go. If the gym isn’t your thing there are lots of ways to incorporate exercise into you daily routine. Playing with your kids at the park, going for a walk, doing jumping jacks or push ups, taking the stairs instead of the elevator are just some simple ways to incorporate exercise. Any type of movement will help both your body and mind. Just get moving!

Definitely pay attention to what you are eating. It is easy to resort to fast food because you are busy and it is quick, but try to limit how often you do this. Be mindful of what you are eating, and try not to eat to attempt to relieve stress or frustration which can be at … Read More... “June is Men’s Health Month – Don’t Forget to Take Care of Your Health During a Divorce!”

Do People Who Dated in College and Then Marry, Divorce at the Usual Rate?

college dating divorce

Can College Relationships Lead to Happy Marriages? Studies Prove Revealing Data

college dating divorceGoing off to college is an exciting time for a young person. Although academic success is the goal for most students, just as important to a student’s college experience, is joining the dating world. It brings a sense of belonging as well as physical and emotional satisfaction. Many relationships made during the college years fall apart quickly, although many remain strong during college and after graduation. It is interesting to study the research and statistics to see why some relationships last, yet others quickly crumble. I saw an interesting article on this topic written by Natalie Maximents on March 21, 2022. She is a certified life transformation coach and her post started me as a divorce lawyer looking into this question in a bit more depth.

Generally speaking the college years are a time for experimenting. It is a time when an individual with develop their attitude and outlook towards social relationships, and form their life values.  It is a time for learning how to interact with others in a variety of circumstances. When a student starts college  they are usually around 18 or 19, which is considered … Read More... “Do People Who Dated in College and Then Marry, Divorce at the Usual Rate?”

May is Mental Health Month – How Divorce can Affect Mental Health?

mental health month divorce

Higher Conflict Divorces Lead To A Worse Decline In Mental Health Issues According To Study. Nearly 25% Of All Ohioans Impacted

mental health month divorceFor the last 70 years, the month of May has been observed as “Mental Health Month“, and according to the community-based non-profit, Mental Health America, nearly 25% of Ohioans have experienced mental health issues in the last few years.

Mental Health Month  provides an opportunity to increase awareness and understanding of mental illness, and to remind Ohioans that it’s OK not to be OK and it’s OK to ask for help,” said Aimee Shadwich, the RecoveryOhio Director in a press release by the state of Ohio on May 4th of this year.

“It is critical that access to timely and effective care is available to those who need it,” she continued.

Nationwide, about 1 in every 5 Americans will be diagnosed with a mental health condition in any given year, like depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, etc. These conditions can affect one’s “emotional, psychological and social well-being” according to Mentalhealth.gov.

Divorce Can Be Emotionally And Physically Taxing On Mental Health

Many factors can contribute to being diagnosed with a mental health condition; … Read More... “May is Mental Health Month – How Divorce can Affect Mental Health?”

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