Summer Vacations and the Divorced Family

Divorced Family During Summer Vacations? How To Get through The Downtime

summer vacations divorced family“As I watched my children wait at the window for their father to arrive, I couldn’t believe the flood of feelings I experienced,” Julie, thirty-eight, a divorced mother of two boys, seven and nine, explained. “Their father is taking them to New York with his girlfriend. Her parents own a large summer house in the Adirondacks. She has six brothers and sisters, all married with children. They are all coming this week for a family reunion.”

“As an only child raised in a large city, I never had this kind of experience. I am excited for my children that they can have all these new people in their lives. They will get the experience of a large family. I find myself wishing that I could give them such an experience. I wonder if they will love this new family more than they love me. Of course, I know this is not the case. But sometimes, I feel so insecure.”

“I guess I am also envious of their experience. In some ways, I wish I were going, too. Not to be with my ex-husband, but to have this wonderful family … Read More... “Summer Vacations and the Divorced Family”

Parent Questionnaire and Information Sheet

Completing the Parent Questionnaire/Information Sheet in Your Divorce

parentIf you are a resident of the State of Ohio and the County of Montgomery, Rule 4.28 of the Local Rules of the Domestic Relations Court, reflects that the “Court requires that all parties in divorce or legal separation cases involving minor children, complete and return to the Court a Parent Questionnaire and Information Sheet prior to the final hearing in the proceeding. What information is addressed by the Parent Questionnaire and Information Sheet?

The Court is making inquiry regarding certain basic information from each party:

A.  Personal Information. The Court is seeking information as to the party’s mailing address, telephone number(s), current position of employment, current work schedule, employment history, and name and phone number of the party’s attorney.

How could this information be useful to the Court? The Court would see “red flags” if a party is without current employment as issues would be raised as to child support and spousal support. The Court would be much happier to see that both parties are gainfully employed with decent incomes.

B.  Marital History. Have the parties been involved with other separations or divorces? Who left home first? What have … Read More... “Parent Questionnaire and Information Sheet”

Divorce: How Employment Affects Men’s and Women’s Decisions to Divorce

Divorce, Employment And Marriage – An Analysis

divorceStudies have often attempted to examine the intricate details of divorce by indicating what causes it, which party causes it and how can it be prevented.  Below is an analysis of the National Institution of Health’s study by Liana C.  Sayer of The Ohio State University about how the changing spectrum of society can affect marriages.  First, we’ll review two theories, then compare these and evaluate an opinion based off of these theories.

Institutional Perspective

The study on divorce and employment is broken into two theories, the first of which is considered the “Gendered Institutional” theory.  This theory seeks to classify marriage as it has been traditionally, where the male is often the breadwinner and the female is often the caretaker of the home and children. This view is often referred to as the codified version of marriage (as most states don’t allow same-sex marriage).  This is a very traditional view on marriage as it looks to shifting of these roles since the 1980’s.

Prior to the 1990’s, female employment in the market was still considerably low.  Men dominated the market and females often stayed home and took care of the house and … Read More... “Divorce: How Employment Affects Men’s and Women’s Decisions to Divorce”

Divorce: Welcome to the Roller Coaster!

How To Ride Out The Roller Coaster Of Emotions During The Pain Of Divorce

divorce

Nothing toys with our emotions like the break-up of a relationship. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross describes the six stages of grief as:

  1. Shock
  2. Denial
  3. Bargaining
  4. Anger
  5. Sadness
  6. Acceptance

When one is going through divorce, add another feeling: FEAR.   During divorce, it is possible to feel all of these things at the same time. This deluge of emotions can complicate how the person sees, thinks and feels about the issues thus distorting their perspective when faced with a mountain of decisions.

In contrast to the above list, here are a few more (sometimes surprising) feelings people going through divorce may experience:

  • Relief
  • Joy
  • Empowerment
  • Exhilaration
  • Freedom

“Am I going crazy? How can I feel all these things, many of them conflicting at the same time?” divorcing clients often ask. No, you are not going crazy. You are going through transition. Your life is changing. A transformation is occurring. These feelings are normal.

Your feelings will change frequently, sometimes in a day, sometimes in a matter of minutes. Think of the process as a roller coaster of emotions that starts out with really, really deep lows and hardly any … Read More... “Divorce: Welcome to the Roller Coaster!”

Divorce: Time to File Now and Attempt Negotiations Later!

Four Common Reasons Why A Spouse Will Initiate A Divorce

divorceIn the arena of family law, also known as domestic relations law, there are occasions when negotiations take place with the hope that a dissolution of marriage might result or a “non-contested” divorce action might ensue.  These negotiations are intended to achieve settlement of disputed issues and to avoid the very costly and emotionally consuming action of a “contested” divorce.  But, while trying to negotiate settlement of certain issues, there are times when it becomes apparent that a divorce proceeding must be filed forthwith.  This article shall address those times when it is imperative to end negotiations and file the Complaint for Divorce.  I shall address common fact-situations that should trigger the filing of a divorce proceeding:

  1. The primary causative reason to file a Complaint for Divorce is when you have a situation with a very financially advantaged spouse (with high income) and a financially disadvantaged spouse (with little to no income).  With these circumstances, it might be necessary to initiate the divorce proceeding in order to get a temporary order of spousal support and/or child support.  If the party with the high income decides to stop paying bills
… Read More... “Divorce: Time to File Now and Attempt Negotiations Later!”

Divorce: 25 Details Often Overlooked in Negotiations!

Two Founding Members Of The International Academy of Attorneys for Divorce over 50 Compile Their List!

divorceAttorney Mark Chinn of Jacksonville, Mississippi, caught my attention with a divorce post to his family law blog about some items that are frequently forgotten in many divorce agreements. Mark is the author of three American Bar Association books about family law issues and is a frequent writer and lecturer in the field of family law. In addition to these accomplishments, we are both founding members of the International Academy of Attorneys for Divorce over 50, established in 2010.

The first eleven in the divorce list were Mark’s, the rest were some that I have added.

  1. Garage door openers
  2. Gate remote controls
  3. Extra keys to car and house
  4. Security codes
  5. Hotel credit card and airline points
  6. Utility and other deposits
  7. Tax and insurance escrows
  8. Car tag credits
  9. Overdrafts on joint checking accounts
  10. Dates to carry through insurance coverages
  11. Attorney’s fees paid with joint funds
  12. Real estate escrow account refunds
  13. Important days not addressed in the Court’s Parenting  Time Order
  14. Season ticket rights
  15. Country club membership and club access
  16. Storage unit details
  17. Dividing and copying family photos
  18. Copying documents, pictures and files from the
… Read More... “Divorce: 25 Details Often Overlooked in Negotiations!”

Divorce: What If You Don’t Really Want One?

Advice On Contesting A Spouse That Has Chosen To Pursue A Divorce

divorceDick Price is a terrific lawyer!  He has practiced divorce and family law in the Fort Worth, Texas, area since 1976 and has been Board Certified as a Specialist in Family Law since 1984.  He also publishes one of the best family law blogs in the country. In addition to these accomplishments, we are both founding members of the International Academy of Attorneys for Divorce over 50 , established in 2010. He wrote an article that provides sage advice to individuals wondering about contesting or fighting a spouse that has chosen to pursue a divorce. Dick has generously agreed to allow us to repost it. Here it is.

Just like it takes two to tango, it takes two to have a marriage. If one person wants out of a marriage, the other one can’t really prevent a divorce. Both parties have to be committed to keep a marriage together.

It often happens that one spouse decides to seek a divorce before the other spouse is even aware of that possibility. People frequently think through their marital problems and come to the conclusion or realization that a divorce… Read More... “Divorce: What If You Don’t Really Want One?”

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