Divorce: What If You Don’t Really Want One?

Advice On Contesting A Spouse That Has Chosen To Pursue A Divorce

divorceDick Price is a terrific lawyer!  He has practiced divorce and family law in the Fort Worth, Texas, area since 1976 and has been Board Certified as a Specialist in Family Law since 1984.  He also publishes one of the best family law blogs in the country. In addition to these accomplishments, we are both founding members of the International Academy of Attorneys for Divorce over 50 , established in 2010. He wrote an article that provides sage advice to individuals wondering about contesting or fighting a spouse that has chosen to pursue a divorce. Dick has generously agreed to allow us to repost it. Here it is.

Just like it takes two to tango, it takes two to have a marriage. If one person wants out of a marriage, the other one can’t really prevent a divorce. Both parties have to be committed to keep a marriage together.

It often happens that one spouse decides to seek a divorce before the other spouse is even aware of that possibility. People frequently think through their marital problems and come to the conclusion or realization that a divorceRead More... “Divorce: What If You Don’t Really Want One?”

Divorce And Household Chores, Does It Also Divide The Family?

A New Divorce Study Suggests that It Does!

divorceI confess that I am a bit of a junkie of surveys and studies. So I am always on the lookout for interesting ones that relate to family and/or divorce issues. Recently, I came across this Norwegian study that found the divorce rate among couples who shared housework equally with their husband was around 50 percent higher than among those where the wives did most of the housework.  I showed write-ups about it to my wife of 34 years, and she immediately scowled and dismissively said something like, “Yeah right.”  So at the risk of alienating my wife and also being politically incorrect, I decided to share the findings here.

In what many may conclude is a slap in the face of gender equality, the report found the divorce rate among couples who shared housework equally, was around 50 percent higher than among those where the woman did most of the housework.

“What we’ve seen is that sharing equal responsibility for work in the home doesn’t necessarily contribute to contentment,” said Thomas Hansen, co-author of the divorce study entitled, “Equality in the Home”. “The more a man does in the home, the … Read More... “Divorce And Household Chores, Does It Also Divide The Family?”

Divorce Linked to Stroke in Men

Study Shows Higher Risk Of Stroke For Men Of Parental Divorce

divorceIt often is said that children are the most affected by divorce. Now a Toronto study has found that men with divorced parents are significantly more likely to suffer a stroke than men from intact families, according to a recent study from the University of Toronto. The study, published in the International Journal of Stroke, shows that adult men who had experienced parental divorce before they turned 18 are three times more likely to suffer a stroke than men whose parents did not divorce. Women from divorced families did not have a higher risk of stroke than women from intact families.

The Toronto Star reports the University of Toronto researchers examined data from the US Center for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta (CDC) from a health risk survey involving 4,074 males and 5,886 females.  According to Esme Fuller-Thomson, Chair at University of Toronto’s Factor-Inwentash Faculty of Social Work and Department of Family and Community Medicine and lead author of the study, “the strong association we found for males between parental divorce and stroke is extremely concerning.”

Angela Dalton, co-author of the study, adds that “it is particularly … Read More... “Divorce Linked to Stroke in Men”

Divorce: Did Your Parents Marriage End When You Were 23 or Older?

Share Your Responses to This Important Divorce Research Survey!

divorceMary Murphy is a licensed clinical social worker and a doctoral candidate in counseling psychology from Oregon. I learned about Mary’s research project and survey from reading an article about it posted by Connecticut psychotherapist Donna Ferber. I have enjoyed collaborating in the past with Donna on a number of diverse topics. In Donna’s words, “Ms. Murphy’s work is of great value as she is looking to gather data from an often overlooked population. The effects of divorce on adult children are often minimized and her research helps shed a light on this issue.”

Here is Mary’s own introduction to her survey and research project:

Assumptions, Adult Children, and Divorce

Articles and books on divorce are replete with studies and discussions about the impact of divorce on children. That is, young and adolescent children. But what about the adult children? There is an emerging focus on considerations relevant to children who are adults when their parents divorce after decades of marriage. Cracks in assumptions, such as “they will be just fine”, or “they are mature now and have their own lives”, are being called into question. Regrettably, these assumptions and many Read More... “Divorce: Did Your Parents Marriage End When You Were 23 or Older?”

Divorce Time Out: Take Your Emotional Pulse

Is Checking Your Emotional Pulse The Key To Dealing With Divorce?

divorce“I am in the divorce process up to my elbows. I have paperwork for my lawyer, deadlines for my job, parent conferences for my kids, friends coming for dinner. I have a birthday party to plan, a lawn to mow, a dog with fleas. I haven’t slept more than five hours a night for months. My grey hairs are coming in with a vengeance and my skin is breaking out. Most of the food in my refrigerator looks like science experiments. I have no idea of world events, latest movies, or current songs. I have to get my kids to soccer practice, karate and guitar lessons. I have grocery shopping, vet appointments, orthodontics appointments, child therapy appointments, ob-gyn appointments. I have appointments with my lawyer, my accountant, my therapist. I have appointments with my children’s lawyers and therapists. I even have an appointment to sit down and talk with my soon to be ex- husband about vacation schedules! I need to get the house painted. The car is making a clanking noise of undeterminable origin. The dishwasher is leaking. My kids came home with head lice. The dog vomited … Read More... “Divorce Time Out: Take Your Emotional Pulse”

Divorce Rates Double for Boomers

Longer Life Spans Factor Into Higher Divorce Rates

divorceDivorce rates for the general population throughout the United States have stabilized over the past several decades.  However, that’s not true for baby boomers.  Divorce rates among couples over 50 have doubled over the last two decades according to a recent study by Bowling Green State University Professor Susan L. Brown.  In the 1990s, fewer than 1 in 10 people who divorced were 50 or older.  In 2009, that figure soared to 1 in 4.  Dr. Brown utilized data from the federal government’s 2009 American Community Survey.  She also looked at demographics and found the highest rates were among black couples and the lowest rates among white couples.  Older adults who divorced also tended to be less educated than those who remained married.

Dr. Brown identified a number of factors that might help explain the increase in the divorce rates among baby boomers including longer life spans.  In addition, she found that the divorce rates for those who were in their second or third marriage was 2-1/2 times higher than for those in their first marriage.  Dr. Brown said, “Interestingly, these are baby boomers.  They were the first generation to come of … Read More... “Divorce Rates Double for Boomers”

Marriage: Better the Second Time Around?

Marriage: Better the Second Time Around?

Is Marriage Better the Second Time Around? Or, Are Second Marriages More Successful than First Marriages?

marriageMany years ago, a singing icon and legend, Frank Sinatra, released a song entitled “The Second Time Around”…..its words begin as follows—“Love is lovelier the second time around; Just as wonderful with both feet on the ground; It’s that second time you hear your love song sung……..Makes you think perhaps that love, like you, is wasted on the young”…he goes on to praise the greatness of second-time relationships. But, what are the facts about second marriages?  Do they fare well or do they fare poorly?

On September 15, 2011, Lisa Helfend Meyer posted an article entitled, “Second Marriage for Better or Worse”. The author and family law attorney stated that while 41 percent of first marriages end in divorce, the failure rate is even higher for second marriages with 60 percent ending in divorce.

While one would think that the individual having one failed marriage would be more cautious, more careful, more selective in choosing a new mate, research studies reflect that most divorced individuals become lonely and needy and want to be back in a relationship.  Hence, … Read More... “Marriage: Better the Second Time Around?”

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