Emotional Health Archives - Page 10 of 22

Divorce Research Shows Children Suffer No Real, Long-Term Effects of Divorce

Important Steps Parents Can Take To Minimize Negative Side-Effects Of Divorce For Their Children

divorce Divorce can be earth-shattering for everyone, but arguably no one suffers more than the children involved. That being said, while divorce has proven to have devastating impact on these young people at the time, some research now suggests that these children do not experience long-term side-effects.

In an article in Scientific American Mind, authors Hal Arkowitz and Scott O. Lilienfeld acknowledge that while divorce is often extremely trying for children, studies show that as these children become adults, few experience lasting, serious effects.

While the divorce is occurring, and even in the period following, it is typical for kids to experience anxiety, anger, depression, shock, etc. However, Arkowitz and Lilienfeld argue that all of these negative effects are short-lived. In support of this, they point to a study conducted by sociologist, Paul R. Amato. Amato’s research followed kids whose parents divorced during childhood, into their adolescence and teenage years. He then compared those children to others whose family remained intact. The results showed that there were relatively few differences between the two groups of children. Ultimately, those with divorced parents typically recovered quickly and handled … Read More... “Divorce Research Shows Children Suffer No Real, Long-Term Effects of Divorce”

5 Things You Should Never Say in Front of Your Kids

dissolution divorce Arguing in front of your kids can be healthy. Your children know that there are times when conflicts occur in any relationship. When tensions exist, telling your spouse that “we’ll talk about this later in private” may evoke more anxiety than relief with kids.

Children pay close attention to how their parents argue. This is an opportunity to demonstrate how disagreements can be discussed without being disagreeable. This is when kids learn about how to listen empathetically, reflect another’s point of view, search for compromises and respect different perspectives.

Regardless of the age of your child, avoid saying any of the following in front of your kids.

“I hate being married to you.” This creates all kinds of unease in kids, whose lives depend upon your caring and commitment. The thought that parents may separate causes children to worry about school, friendships, activities and losing one of their parents.
“Sometimes I wish I was dead.” This type of emotional outburst has an even greater effect than divorce, as it can stimulate anxiety about a permanent and traumatic loss for kids. Even the thought that a parent may intentionally kill themselves causes horrendous distress in kids. If you are permanently gone,

7 False Inspirational Quotes…

false inspirational quotes Dr. Gregory Ramey never sugar coats it. He has kindly allowed the Ohio Family Law Blog to repost many of his articles pertinent to our readership since 2007. So, you may ask, why post this one? Well, the answer is simple. I agree 100% with him! Another example of him being spot-on in my mind. Life is tough and it doesn’t come with training-wheels or rose colored glasses.

*************************************************Inspirational quotes, intended to motivate or encourage, are often nothing more than psychological gibberish masquerading as profound truths. They sound nice, but mean nothing.

“If you dream it, you can do it.” I love Mickey Mouse, but this assertion by Walt Disney is silly. Dreams accomplish nothing. Disney’s achievements were built upon talent, persistence and hard work.
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment,” proclaimed Ralph Waldo Emerson, one of my favorite writers. There are lots of these “be yourself” quotes around, all of them misleading and juvenile. What does it mean to be yourself? There are times we are selfish, mean and narcissistic. Living is all about trying to contain our negative sides and live in a loving

Kids Shouldn’t be Treated Like Little Adults

kids little adults

Kids aren’t little adults. While the physical differences are obvious, the psychological ones are not, particularly as kids and teens appear more sophisticated than previous generations.

Here are a few key differences.

More egocentric. Children experience the world from their own very limited perspective. When something bad happens, they are more likely to wonder about the impact on themselves, rather than on others. In adulthood, we call this narcissism. In childhood, we call this normal.
More trusting. Most children fortunately haven’t had a lot of bad experiences with other people. They tend to be trusting, or in cases vulnerable, to the influence of others. Trusting others is positive in many ways, as it gives parents and other loving adults the opportunity to guide young people. However, this also means parents to be cautious about the impact of peers and others on our kids.
More reactive to stress. I have a variety of ways to deal with a difficult day. I can talk with my spouse or friends, challenge my unhealthy ways of thinking about things, play basketball, or run a few extra miles.Most kids don’t have sophisticated strategies to deal with difficult times. Therefore, they are more susceptible to tough

3 steps to raising good losers

good losers ramey Football star Cam Newton got it all wrong when he declared “show me a good loser and I’ll show you a loser,” as an excuse for his rude behavior after his team’s defeat in the Super Bowl.

Teaching our kids how to deal with adversity, or be a good loser, is one of the important skills that they need to learn.

Good and bad stuff happens to us every day. It’s easy to enjoy life’s successes, but how we respond to life’s setbacks determines our happiness. Psychologists call this resiliency.

Every day I work with kids who have survived terrible situations. Some are victims of horrific sexual abuse, or live in severely dysfunctional families. Others are trying to grapple with the emotional turbulence of their parent’s divorce, or the death of a sibling.

Some of these emotional scars will resonate throughout their childhood and beyond. Other children figure out a way to put bad stuff in life’s rearview mirror and lead healthy and productive lives.

Can we teach resiliency at a young age to prepare kids to deal with life’s tough times? The experts say we can.

Here are the two attributes of resilient kids.

First, kids with good resiliency … Read More... “3 steps to raising good losers”

Are you using the correct parenting style?

What Is The Best Parenting Style To Raise Your Children? One Parenting Style May Be All You Need Says Study

ramey parenting style

Which of the following best describes your approach to raising your children?

Permissive. These types of parents tend to be very warm, engaging, and accepting of their children. They encourage their kids to make their own decisions. They avoid using punishment and tend to be rather lenient. Rules are viewed more as guidelines, with kids given lots of freedom without close parental supervision.
Authoritarian. Children in these families have strict rules and firm consequences. Parents are in control, not the kids. These are demanding parents with high expectations. Parental flexibility is feared as a sign of weakness, with a concern that children will manipulate the situation.
Uninvolved. Parents using this approach are generally very preoccupied with their own lives, and leave the children to figure things out on their own. There are few expectations for the children. Youngsters are viewed as small adults, with a great deal of freedom and flexibility.
Authoritative. This style reflects parents who set clear limits on their children’s behavior, but combine that with warmth and affection. The parents are in charge, but there is close

Family Survival Guide: Handling Tough Times

family survival guide Some families I work with are going through some of the toughest challenges of their lives. In addition to having problems with their kids, many parents report financial difficulties and marital dissatisfaction.

This trifecta of issues frequently results in intense feelings of depression, denial, anger or helplessness. Here’s how parents successfully navigate such tough times.

Develop a social support system. I urge parents to reach out to friends, relatives, work colleagues and others for support. I understand the natural inclination of not wanting to burden others with your problems. However, relationships are essential in providing both diversion from our troubles, and emotional support for getting through the day.Don’t ever underestimate the impact of a warm smile, a gentle hug, a kind word or just the accepting presence from a friend.
Gain perspective. When overwhelmed by today’s turmoil, it’s easy to forget yesterday’s calm. I urge both kids and parents to reflect upon and be grateful for the pleasant times in their families’ histories.Here’s a fun homework assignment. I ask parents to talk about some of their favorite family photos. This simple activity typically prompts lots of discussion and laughter. It forces families to remember their many good times and helps

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