Emotional Health Archives - Page 12 of 15

Marriage Works! Ohio – Perhaps It’s Just What You Need!

“Wait a minute! Did I read that right? Marriage ‘building’ advice and links to what sounds like a marriage ‘strengthening’ organization on a Divorce Attorney’s website…what’s up with that?” Those thoughts and questions may have run through your mind as you have explored our law firm’s blog and website, but you read correctly. The desire to help strengthen marriages and prevent divorce, if at all possible, may be unusual in our industry, but saving marriages and strengthening families is good for society! To that end, our website, as well as our Ohio Family Law Blog, provides people with links to pro-family organizations like Marriage Works! Ohio, an organization whose mission is helping couples strengthen their relationships.

We have teamed up with Marriage Works! Ohio since 2009 when they agreed to write monthly “Relationship Builder Tips” for our Ohio Family Law Blog. Those tips have been very well received and are an integral part of the blog. If you want to read an archive of those tips, click here. I was interested in learning more about the organization and the author of those tips. I recently had the pleasure of personally meeting Sydney Battle, the Support Services Supervisor … Read More... “Marriage Works! Ohio – Perhaps It’s Just What You Need!”

Bringing Laughter Back Into Your Life

Joel Goodman of the Humor Project in Saratoga Springs, New York, says, “Humor is what lubricates life.” Humor can help you deal with all the stressors in your life. Humor cannot erase the situation, but it can take the sting out of many things, thus reducing their negative impact. In order for humor to be curative in your life, you need to find your own laugh button. Remember, divorce is one part of your life, don’t make it your whole life!

Jennie remarked recently how surprised she was that she could still feel joy taking a walk on a beautiful autumn morning, even though she felt devastated by her divorce. Nurture those feelings of joy, laughter, and wonder. Laughter is not just a luxury; it is a vital piece in the healing process. It is especially important during times of stress. It provides our body, heart, and mind with a welcome and necessary reprieve. It just doesn’t feel good, it actually IS good. Laughter changes the chemicals our body secretes-Endorphins boost feelings of well being and peace.

Creating humor from a stressful situation gives you the opportunity to experience a shift in perspective. No one is suggesting that you become … Read More... “Bringing Laughter Back Into Your Life”

A Good Divorce Therapist is Critical to Your Emotional Health!

For most people going through a divorce, there is no substitute for having a neutral professional by their side who is trained to listen and discuss the emotional issues relevant to a divorce. The emotions many encounter are similar to dealing with a death or loss of a loved one. Therapists may refer to the stages of emotion by differing names, but they are: shock, denial, anger, sadness, and finally, acceptance.

In my practice I discuss counseling with virtually every new divorce client I meet. Many clients going through a divorce feel like their life has been completely turned upside down. Even if the individual has some sort of a “support network”, this is usually not an adequate substitute for having a good therapist. Most friends or family members are not trained or equipped to provide objective professional guidance and steady you through the divorce process, which often can turn into a very long marathon.

I have seen over the years how important it can be to work collaboratively with a divorce client’s therapist. The therapist is not trained in the law, and I am not trained in psychology. We each have distinctly different roles. A good therapist can help … Read More... “A Good Divorce Therapist is Critical to Your Emotional Health!”

Single not Sad on New Year’s Eve

Many of us actually prefer to stay home on New Year’s Eve or spend the night with friends rather than get all dressed up to trudge through snowy, icy weather, only to eat and drink too much! Yet, the fantasy of this night still seems to hold many captive. The notion of “being alone” on New Year’s Eve makes an otherwise strong, capable, independent adult feel like a gawky 13-year-old wallflower! How is it that one can be spending New Year’s Eve with friends, family, and children, but without a date, will say, “I am alone”?

It is time to shake off those old myths about New Year’s Eve! Not having a “date” on New Year’s Eve is not an indication of social incompetence; it is simply a change. If this is your first New Year’s Eve without your spouse, then this is your first New Year’s Eve as a single person. While you certainly have suffered the pain of a loss, there is also much to look forward to. This is a New Year and a new beginning, and it is worth celebrating! Here are some ideas to get you thinking about your options.

A quiet night at home

Divorcing the Abuser

The single most dangerous element in living with an abusive man is your denial of the problem. More women are killed by their domestic partners than by the hands of strangers. If your spouse has shown any of the signs or symptoms of being abusive, it is extremely important that you get help. Depending upon the situation, help comes in all forms from seeking counseling to calling the police. The way to find out what intervention is most appropriate for your situation is to call the women’s shelters in your area. Even if you do not need “shelter” in a physical sense, the shelters can provide you with invaluable information anonymously and for free! If you do not have a shelter in your area, chances are the closest big city will have one. All of the shelters have toll-free lines, so it doesn’t matter which one you call. All calls are kept anonymous for your safety. The caseworker at the shelter can assist you in figuring out what you need to do to be safe. Some women feel embarrassed to call the shelters; they believe they should be able to handle it themselves, or their problem is not as bad … Read More... “Divorcing the Abuser”

Don’t Create Halloween Horrors for your Child!

For many kids, Halloween is one of the most important holidays of the year. The child of divorce is faced with choices and concerns. Who will take me treat-or-treating? Who will get my costume and dress me? Where will I trick-or-treat?

Then, of course, there logistical problems for the divorced parents. By addressing these issues in advance, parents can reduce stress and not distract from the child’s positive experience. These include:

In two-parent homes, often one parent gives out candy while the other parent takes the child trick-or-treating. Now there is only one parent in the home. Do you stay and give out candy or do you go with your child?
Parents often do not specify in their divorce decree who “gets” the child on October 31. If it falls on a visitation day, some children feel disappointed that they don’t get to trick-or-treat in their own neighborhood with their friends. This is particularly true for the first Halloween, when new friends and acquaintances may not have been established in the new neighborhood.
Halloween reminds the parents of the reality of joint custody and that you will not share some of your child’s experiences.
In time, the child will grow

The “Un-Advisability” of an “Un-Divorce” Arrangement

Psychotherapist and Guest Contributor Donna F. Ferber sent me an email a month or so ago encouraging me to read Suzi Parker’s article about famous couples who chose, rather than going through a divorce, to simply live separate lives. Click here to read Ms. Parker’s article about a trend some people call an “un-divorce.”

We both agreed to attempt to fairly evaluate the “pros and cons” of this option: she from a psychological perspective and me from a legal perspective. Initially, Donna was much more open to the possible merits of this arrangement than I was. She made it clear that she was most interested in hopefully reaching and empowering people who are in unhappy marriages and who feel trapped by fear, ignorance, and the lack of financial and emotional resources. Donna and I continued to exchange numerous emails over the last six weeks about this “un-divorce” arrangement, discussing the relative merits of couples remaining married but living separate lives. By reading the title of this article, I suspect you can tell that I am not impressed with the overall wisdom of such a relationship. While it is certainly possible to construct various hypothetical situations when an “un-divorce” arrangement might … Read More... “The “Un-Advisability” of an “Un-Divorce” Arrangement”

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