Divorce: Not a Do-It-Yourself Project

Tips On How To Move Ahead In Divorce

Help And Support From Professionals Key To Moving Forward In Divorce

divorceFrequently, people who are unhappy in their marriages wait until after the holiday season to move ahead with the dissolution of their marriage.  If you are one of those folks who have made this decision, you know it is not easy to make that first move.  Sometimes people struggle for years in unhappy relationships before they decide it is time to end the marriage.

How to move ahead?  Find a good lawyer and therapist.  They will be part of your team as you begin the arduous process of untangling your marriage.  These professionals will help and support you through the process – making sure that when your divorce is final, you are as secure as you can be – both emotionally and legally.

No doubt about it – divorce is a major life changing decision.  It is a stressful time – you, your spouse and your children will be impacted emotionally, financially, practically and legally.

So, it is surprising when so many couples decide to proceed with the legal uncoupling without legal counsel!  Here are some reasons people choose to represent … Read More... “Divorce: Not a Do-It-Yourself Project”

New Year’s Eve: Single not Sad

Tips On How To Make New Year’s Eve A New Beginning After Divorce

SIngle At New Year’s Eve Brings More Options

new year's evePublisher’s Note:

Congratulations! We have all made it through Christmas and now New Year’s Eve is just a few days away. I have been considering what to post this week that was timely and relevant.

I remembered the great piece we posted 3 years ago that Donna Ferber had written for her first book, From Ex-Wife to Exceptional Life: A Woman’s Journey through Divorce. I received a lot of compliments about it then.  I reread it and loved it as much now as I did the first time. Her sage advice warrants a repost, so here it is.

Many of us actually prefer to stay home on New Year’s Eve or spend the night with friends rather than get all dressed up to trudge through snowy, icy weather, only to eat and drink too much! Yet, the fantasy of this night still seems to hold many captive. The notion of “being alone” on New Year’s Eve makes an otherwise strong, capable, independent adult feel like a gawky 13-year-old wallflower! How is it that one can be spending New … Read More... “New Year’s Eve: Single not Sad”

Fighting a Losing Battle Against Our Modern Culture

modern cultureI’ve lately been feeling as if I’m fighting a war against our culture, and I’m afraid I’m losing.

My conversation with a friend was abruptly interrupted when he reached into his pocket and looked at his cell phone. When I asked if everything was okay, he casually responded that he was just checking his email, like an addict desperate for his electronic fix.

While searching through YouTube for some music videos, I was taken aback by the content of some of the videos posted by young kids. The language and the overt sexuality were offensive and grossly inappropriate.

Thanksgiving is the latest victim of these culture wars.  Like most families, we have traditions that connect us to our past and bring us together for special times. I begin the morning by running a five-mile race along with 10,000 other runners, including my family.  We eat dinner together, and then watch a movie or take out the decorations in preparation for cutting down our Christmas tree the following day.

Many retail workers can no longer enjoy such a holiday.  With large stores trying to attract consumers with door buster deals on Thanksgiving, others are required to work so that we can … Read More... “Fighting a Losing Battle Against Our Modern Culture”

Holidays: Just Say No And Feel Empowered!

A Guide to Happier Holidays: Replace HO–HO-HO with NO-NO-NO!

holidaysWell, the holiday hoopla is ramping up. Displays of sparkly red and green stuff has taken center stage in our stores, catalogues are arriving in droves, internet sites are offering deals, discounts and sales on every imaginable product. Magazines at the grocery checkout display unbelievable glossy covers of gorgeous people, in gorgeous houses, serving gorgeous food. Now with the sudden drop in temperature and the promise of snow this week, the reality that the holidays are descending on us is unavoidable.

It feels impossible to slow this down or simply get a grip. It is like being swept up in some tinselly tidal wave. I don’t want to shop yet; I still am cleaning out the garden! Yet, as the heat clicks on, and my sweaters and even gloves begin to take center stage, it cannot be denied. Here comes the holidays.

Much has been written about how to maintain our sanity through the holidays – hints of shortcuts for meals, warnings about overeating and over-drinking, and financial gurus pleading with us to set limits on our spending. All of these techniques are designed to make the holidays more manageable … Read More... “Holidays: Just Say No And Feel Empowered!”

4 Errors in Guiding Kids’ Use of Technology

kids use technologyOur teens live in a digital universe.  They may be talking with one friend while texting another.  While giving us some superficial answer about what happened at school, they may be posting their real feelings on Facebook.

Research conducted last year by Commonsensemedia.org gives us some insight into this alternative world.  Sixty-eight percent of teens text daily and 51 percent visit a social media site such as Facebook at least once a day.  This is scary to many parents, but not to their children.  They experience this electronic world in very positive ways.  Teens report that social media sites help them feel less shy (29 percent), more confident (20 percent) and sympathetic to others (19 percent). Kids 13 to 17 years of age report that such sites have improved their relationships with friends (52 percent) and family members (37 percent).  Only five percent of teens report that social media makes them feel more depressed.

We worry about things that we don’t understand, and this digital world is foreign and frightening to many parents.  Here are the four most common mistakes made by parents in attempting to guide their kids’ electronic lives.

  1. Prohibit technology.  Some parents take pride in the fact
… Read More... “4 Errors in Guiding Kids’ Use of Technology”

Marriage Advice for Brides – Plan Ahead!

Practical Tips To Protect Yourself If Marriage Ends In Divorce

marriageIn the season of weddings, it occurs to me that while many of us received  advice when we got married, most of it was about how to keep the relationship vibrant  (never go to bed angry) or (in my generation) how to keep your man happy (“ a way to man’s heart is through his stomach”).

While we still love the romance of weddings and marriage and hope for happily ever after, we also cannot ignore the reality that approximately 50% of all marriages end in divorce. And while NO one walks down the aisle thinking well, if this doesn’t work, I will just get a divorce, there are some important issues for a young woman to keep in mind as she makes this life-changing decision. Because, as we all know, S…T Happens.

Put your heart and soul into your marriage, work to be loving and understanding and listen well, never take each other for granted and treat each other with respect; but since there are no guarantees, make sure you take care of yourself. Your marriage may not end in divorce – sometimes someone dies – even at a … Read More... “Marriage Advice for Brides – Plan Ahead!”

Marriages: Do Couples Need More Than Love to Last?

Research Suggests More to Just Love in Successful Marriages

Marriages Can End In Divorce About 40 to 50 Percent of the Time

marriages“All You Need is Love” may be one of the greatest songs written by The Beatles, but the premise is scientifically invalid according to recent research published in the April 2013 Monitor on Psychology.

About 40 to 50 percent of marriages end in divorce, but here’s how to beat those statistics, according to the experts who have studied successful marriages.

  1. Work hard. People who stay married for a long time make a conscious effort at working at their relationships. They place their commitment to each other as a higher priority than work, hobbies and even their children. They know that the best way to be a great parent is to be in a loving and long-lasting relationship.
  2. Talk about things that matter. It’s so easy to waste time talking about routine matters of work, family or chores. Happy couples talk about their dreams, fears, hopes and fantasies. They share very private and personal feelings and thus stay emotionally engaged with their partner. With a psychological security based on trust and communication, these couples can truly be
… Read More... “Marriages: Do Couples Need More Than Love to Last?”
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