Sometimes psychotherapy just doesn’t help in spite of a cooperative child, supportive family and a competent professional. This is a very frustrating situation, not only for the family seeking help but also for the therapist. We’d all like to think that with persistence and professional competence, we have the skills to help any youngster with mental problems.
When a child’s problems don’t diminish, psychologists are ethically required not to continue doing something that doesn’t work. I typically change approaches to better engage the parent and child. If there continues to be no progress, here are the options I present to the family:
- Change therapists. Sometimes there is just not a good connection between a youngster and their therapist. This may be due to issues of gender, style, age, or race. I can’t honestly say that I have liked every child or parent that I’ve ever worked with over the years, and sometimes those feelings may be evident during our sessions. This transition is usually difficult for kids, who may interpret a change in therapists as yet another rejection.
- Involve your child in special activities. Some of the best therapists I’ve ever met have been Boy Scout leaders, sports coaches and
Frequently, people who are unhappy in their marriages wait until after the holiday season to move ahead with the dissolution of their marriage. If you are one of those folks who have made this decision, you know it is not easy to make that first move. Sometimes people struggle for years in unhappy relationships before they decide it is time to end the marriage.
Publisher’s Note:
I’ve lately been feeling as if I’m fighting a war against our culture, and I’m afraid I’m losing.
Well, the holiday hoopla is ramping up. Displays of sparkly red and green stuff has taken center stage in our stores, catalogues are arriving in droves, internet sites are offering deals, discounts and sales on every imaginable product. Magazines at the grocery checkout display unbelievable glossy covers of gorgeous people, in gorgeous houses, serving gorgeous food. Now with the sudden drop in temperature and the promise of snow this week, the reality that the holidays are descending on us is unavoidable.
Our teens live in a digital universe. They may be talking with one friend while texting another. While giving us some superficial answer about what happened at school, they may be posting their real feelings on Facebook.
In the season of weddings, it occurs to me that while many of us received advice when we got married, most of it was about how to keep the relationship vibrant (never go to bed angry) or (in my generation) how to keep your man happy (“ a way to man’s heart is through his stomach”).