The popularization of the automobile in the 1920’s was not universally welcomed. Many raised questions about the safety of this new invention and their concerns were valid. There are about 1.2 million fatalities world-wide associated with car accidents, another 50 million people injured, and billions of dollars in damages. Even so, few are willing to give up the convenience of the auto in spite of these significant costs.
As with many things in life, we try to minimize the risks to enjoy the benefits.
We’re in that same situation today in dealing with the dilemmas presented by kids and technology. Our teens are technologically connected with 68 percent of them sending text messages daily, averaging somewhere between 60 and 100 texts every day. Over half of our teens visit a social networking site daily. Over 80 percent of teens have their own cell phone, and two-thirds have a device that allows them to connect to the Internet.
That means that 67 percent of our kids can visit virtually any website without our guidance or supervision. We are fearful. We don’t want our children in internet relationships with strangers, addicted to pornography, victims of cyber bullying or sexting, and spending excessive … Read More... “2 Things Parents Must do to Support Their Kids’ Digital Experiences”
Thanksgiving marks the official beginning of the holiday season. Although usually less fraught with anxiety than Christmas, if it is the first “big holiday” since your estrangement from your spouse, you may be dreading the day. It also may be your first holiday without your children.
The dissolution of their marriage offers the opportunity for each partner to stand up for themselves in a way they had not before. Bravo! Finding your voice and learning assertiveness skills can create better relationships with others while assisting you in getting what you need.
Jane was married for twenty five years. Her husband filed for divorce, and Jane struggled to understand what happened. “Disappointed,” was Jane’s response when I queried as to how she felt. Over and over she spoke of her disappointment.
“I am in the divorce process up to my elbows. I have paperwork for my lawyer, deadlines for my job, parent conferences for my kids, friends coming for dinner. I have a birthday party to plan, a lawn to mow, a dog with fleas. I haven’t slept more than five hours a night for months. My grey hairs are coming in with a vengeance and my skin is breaking out. Most of the food in my refrigerator looks like science experiments. I have no idea of world events, latest movies, or current songs. I have to get my kids to soccer practice, karate and guitar lessons. I have grocery shopping, vet appointments, orthodontics appointments, child therapy appointments, ob-gyn appointments. I have appointments with my lawyer, my accountant, my therapist. I have appointments with my children’s lawyers and therapists. I even have an appointment to sit down and talk with my soon to be ex- husband about vacation schedules! I need to get the house painted. The car is making a clanking noise of undeterminable origin. The dishwasher is leaking. My kids came home with head lice. The dog vomited … 
Frequently, a spouse is incredulous at their partner’s behavior during divorce. Why do we expect people to be on their best behavior during divorce? Does anyone actually behave better under stress? If you had a tendency to anxiety in your marriage, you are probably climbing the walls. If your spouse was controlling during the marriage, then s/he is probably exhibiting dictator-like characteristics. And if either of you had a tendency toward alcohol or drug abuse or domestic violence of any kind, then you can expect those frightening behaviors to escalate.
For those of you who follow our blog, you already know that local child psychologist Dr. Greg Ramey is a frequent contributor. Dr. Ramey is the vice president for outpatient services at Dayton Children’s and writes FamilyWise, a weekly