Blast From The Past: Divorce, Summer Holidays for Those Newly Divorced

divorce summer holidays

PUBLISHERS NOTE: Psychotherapist Donna F. Ferber penned this post about divorce back in 2015. It is still a good read about the struggles a newly divorced person experiences during the summer holidays. We have a ton of interesting articles in our archives of the Ohio Family Law Blog. Use our Search tool and enjoy a few oldie but goodies!

The Struggle Of Divorce During the Summer Holidays – How To Juggle The Roles And Responsibilities In Your Life

divorce summer holidaysMemorial Day, Labor Day and 4th of July are holidays that celebrate different aspects of American culture. Memorial Day honors those who fought to defend our principles and ideals, Labor Day honors our work ethic, and 4th of July honors our fight for independence. We don’t consider them “big holidays.” They are, for most of us, times to be outdoors, watch some fireworks, and eat lots of good food. They also give us an extended weekend.

For a newly divorced person, however, these holidays can take on great significance. You, too, have been fighting for your principles, working hard, and struggling with your newfound independence. No three holidays in our calendar reflect your struggle as these three do. Since we do not … Read More... “Blast From The Past: Divorce, Summer Holidays for Those Newly Divorced”

Are Divorce Lawyers Just “Love Undertakers”? [A Rebuttal]

divorce lawyers love undertakers

Divorce Lawyers Should Not Assist Clients With Mental Health Issues Says NYC Attorney

divorce lawyers love undertakersA well respected New York City divorce lawyer by the name of Val Kleyman recently sent out a newswire to divorce lawyers warning them “to be careful not to cross over into the role of personal therapist for clients. This is a common problem that does not get enough attention” Attorney Kleyman said. He added, “helping someone deal with their emotions, feelings and mental health is a very serious undertaking and must only be done by professionals who are trained and experienced doing this.”

While I agree with most of that, here is the point he made that hit me hard. “Divorce lawyers are the love undertakers. Unlike marriage counselors and therapists whose job it is to save relationships and help people heal, our job is to bury dead marriages quickly and efficiently before their toxicity spreads any further,” says Kleyman.

WOW, I have to disagree with Attorney Kleyman a bit on this one.  This seems far too limited of a view of our role as a divorce lawyer in my opinion.  I have been practicing family law and divorce work in Dayton, Ohio for 40 years. … Read More... “Are Divorce Lawyers Just “Love Undertakers”? [A Rebuttal]”

Blast From The Past: Breaking Bad Habits: If Your Resolutions Are Slipping Away

Blast from the past 13 years Ohio Family Law Blog

PUBLISHERS NOTE: Psychotherapist Donna F. Ferber penned this post back in 2014. It is still a good read about how to get life in balance and to do the things that we know we need to accomplish for our happiness. March is known unofficially as “Divorce” month. Typically, it is the month of the year in which the highest number of divorce cases are filed. If one of your New Year’s resolutions was to consider getting a divorce, come see at our Dayton law firm of Holzfaster, Cecil, McKnight & Mues to discuss your rights and options. In any event, try to keep working on the resolutions geared at your well-being and happiness.

Don’t Let Your Resolutions Slip Away! Tips To Break Those Bad Habits

resolutions habitResearch shows that most people have given up on their New Year’s Resolutions by the third week of January. Here are a couple of tips that might help you beat the odds and reach your goal.

Refocus – When the urge/craving comes on for that chocolate éclair, glass of wine, or fabulous new boots, refocusing your thoughts can go a long way in helping you slow down those urges. How does this work? Think of … Read More... “Blast From The Past: Breaking Bad Habits: If Your Resolutions Are Slipping Away”

Blast From The Past: Thoughts about Your Divorce Day

divorce day

PUBLISHERS NOTE: Here is a classic from Connecticut Psychotherapist Donna Ferber, first published on the Ohio Family Law Blog on July 10, 2010. Her advice about surviving your final divorce court date is still right on target! Also, check her books and her website out at www.DonnaFerber.com

Survival Tips For Preparing For Your Day In Divorce Court

divorce dayJust as each marriage is unique, so is each divorce. Your reaction to the final legal decree will vary from that of others going through this process. Your feelings will be based on your own special circumstances and will depend upon a number of factors:

  • How reconciled you are to the divorce.
  • How much time has passed between the filing of the original papers and the final day.
  • How much acrimony still exists with your spouse.
  • How much rebuilding of your own life you have already done.

Divorce Day can bring about a myriad of feelings, ranging from extreme sadness to exuberant joy to calm indifference. By knowing yourself and your own feelings about your situation, you can predict, to some degree, how you will feel.

Here are some tips for preparing for your day in divorce court:

  • Make a trial run
… Read More... “Blast From The Past: Thoughts about Your Divorce Day”

Blast From The Past: Holidays: Just Say No And Feel Empowered!

Blast from the past 13 years Ohio Family Law Blog

Holidays Got Your Down?

PUBLISHERS NOTE: “Congratulations! We all made it through Thanksgiving. So, the mad dash of the holiday season is officially upon us. This sage advice from psychotherapist, Donna F. Ferber, from 2013 warrants a repost. Take a breath. Slow down. And just say “no”.”

A Guide to Happier Holidays: Replace HO–HO-HO with NO-NO-NO!

holidaysWell, the holiday hoopla is ramping up. Displays of sparkly red and green stuff has taken center stage in our stores, catalogues are arriving in droves, internet sites are offering deals, discounts and sales on every imaginable product. Magazines at the grocery checkout display unbelievable glossy covers of gorgeous people, in gorgeous houses, serving gorgeous food. Now with the sudden drop in temperature and the promise of snow this week, the reality that the holidays are descending on us is unavoidable.

It feels impossible to slow this down or simply get a grip. It is like being swept up in some tinselly tidal wave. I don’t want to shop yet; I still am cleaning out the garden! Yet, as the heat clicks on, and my sweaters and even gloves begin to take center stage, it cannot be denied. Here comes the holidays… Read More... “Blast From The Past: Holidays: Just Say No And Feel Empowered!”

Blast From The Past: Don’t Create Halloween Horrors for your Child!

halloween divorce

PUBLISHERS NOTE: “Halloween can be very tricky for divorced parents. Here is some great advice from Psychotherapist Donna Ferber from way back in 2010. If you enjoy this article, you would love her book, “From Ex-Wife to Exceptional Life: A Woman’s Journey Through Divorce” available on Amazon and Kindle. Also, check out her website, www.DonnaFerber.com.”

Make Your Child’s Halloween A Positive Experience Post Divorce

halloween divorceFor many kids, Halloween is one of the most important holidays of the year. The child of divorce is faced with choices and concerns. Who will take me treat-or-treating? Who will get my costume and dress me? Where will I trick-or-treat?

Then, of course, there logistical problems for the divorced parents. By addressing these issues in advance, parents can reduce stress and not distract from the child’s positive experience. These include:

  • In two-parent homes, often one parent gives out candy while the other parent takes the child trick-or-treating. Now there is only one parent in the home. Do you stay and give out candy or do you go with your child?
  • Parents often do not specify in their divorce decree who “gets” the child on October 31. If it falls on a visitation day, some
… Read More... “Blast From The Past: Don’t Create Halloween Horrors for your Child!”

Divorce Study: Is There Support for The “Mars versus Venus” Theory?

emotional support informational support study

New Study Examines Differences Between Informational Support and Emotional Support

emotional support informational support studyWhen John Gray wrote Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, his primary message was that in relationships men are usually the problem solvers and women are usually the ones wanting more empathy and understanding. Many therapists were critical of Gray’s book written in 1992, citing lack of research for his conclusions about gender differences. However, studies about the differences between informational support and emotional support conducted by University of Maryland and Wyoming psychologists Lorenzo, Barry and Khalifian, support John Gray’s theory. Click here to read the study.

In their published report, the psychologists studied 114 couples female/male who were newlywed and in their first marriage. They were studying the differences between two types of support, emotional support and informational support. They were examining the type of support preferred by an individual vs. the support type he or she received to see how overproviding or underproviding of the two types of support affected the happiness of the individual in the marriage.

Study Reveals Emotional Support Preferred By Both Parties

The study found that men lean towards providing informational advice by trying to problem solve while women often … Read More... “Divorce Study: Is There Support for The “Mars versus Venus” Theory?”

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