Emotional Health Archives - Page 7 of 22

How to Navigate the Challenges that the Holidays can Bring

Do You Dread Holiday Celebrations And Family Gatherings?

It’s a time of year with many holiday celebrations and gatherings. These are joyous experiences for many, but a difficult time for others. Our lives are not like a Hallmark Channel story with freshly baked cookies, fake snow, and conflicts that always have happy endings.

We know that our happiness comes more from the people whom we love rather than the gifts that we get.

However, past hurts (whether real or imagined) may feel particularly intense right now, in marked contrast to the apparent happiness around us.

Here are some particularly challenging situations.

Divorce. Some kids tell me that they like the fact that their parents are divorced because they get twice as many gifts. Humor hides their pain. Most of them want what they will never get – their mom and dad back together again.

The best gift you can give your children is to develop a business-like relationship with your ex-spouse. You need not forget yesterday’s betrayal and pain. You just need to love your kids more than you dislike your ex-spouse, and put their needs above your anger and anguish.

Call your ex-spouse to work out the holiday visits,

Blast From The Past: Holidays: Just Say No And Feel Empowered!

Blast from the past 13 years Ohio Family Law Blog

Holidays Got Your Down?

PUBLISHERS NOTE: “Congratulations! We all made it through Thanksgiving. So, the mad dash of the holiday season is officially upon us. This sage advice from psychotherapist, Donna F. Ferber, from 2013 warrants a repost. Take a breath. Slow down. And just say “no”.”

A Guide to Happier Holidays: Replace HO–HO-HO with NO-NO-NO!

Well, the holiday hoopla is ramping up. Displays of sparkly red and green stuff has taken center stage in our stores, catalogues are arriving in droves, internet sites are offering deals, discounts and sales on every imaginable product. Magazines at the grocery checkout display unbelievable glossy covers of gorgeous people, in gorgeous houses, serving gorgeous food. Now with the sudden drop in temperature and the promise of snow this week, the reality that the holidays are descending on us is unavoidable.

It feels impossible to slow this down or simply get a grip. It is like being swept up in some tinselly tidal wave. I don’t want to shop yet; I still am cleaning out the garden! Yet, as the heat clicks on, and my sweaters and even gloves begin to take center stage, it cannot be denied. Here comes the holidays… Read More... “Blast From The Past: Holidays: Just Say No And Feel Empowered!”

Blast From The Past: Don’t Create Halloween Horrors for your Child!

PUBLISHERS NOTE: “Halloween can be very tricky for divorced parents. Here is some great advice from Psychotherapist Donna Ferber from way back in 2010. If you enjoy this article, you would love her book, “From Ex-Wife to Exceptional Life: A Woman’s Journey Through Divorce” available on Amazon and Kindle. Also, check out her website, www.DonnaFerber.com.”

Make Your Child’s Halloween A Positive Experience Post Divorce

For many kids, Halloween is one of the most important holidays of the year. The child of divorce is faced with choices and concerns. Who will take me treat-or-treating? Who will get my costume and dress me? Where will I trick-or-treat?

Then, of course, there logistical problems for the divorced parents. By addressing these issues in advance, parents can reduce stress and not distract from the child’s positive experience. These include:

In two-parent homes, often one parent gives out candy while the other parent takes the child trick-or-treating. Now there is only one parent in the home. Do you stay and give out candy or do you go with your child?
Parents often do not specify in their divorce decree who “gets” the child on October 31. If it falls on a visitation day, some

6 Things Parents Don’t Want to Hear About Their Children

I enjoy speaking with parents at workshops, most of which focus on issues such as using praise, time out, or selective attention. However, I’ve acquired a somewhat problematic habit over the years-saying things that turn off most of the audience.

It’s easy to talk about discipline techniques, but it’s tricky to openly discuss some uncomfortable realities about being a mom or dad. Here is my list of the top six things that are rarely well received.

Don’t make children your highest priority. It’s a serious mistake to make your children the center of your universe. You need to take better care of yourself and spend lots of time with your spouse. Is it essential to attend all of your kids’ sporting events or play performances? Mentally healthy kids learn about compromise and caring by seeing that their parents don’t put children on a pedestal and cater to their every whim.
You can’t control how your kids turn out. Most parents work hard and sacrifice many of their dreams to care for another life. You’d like to think that there is a relationship between what you do, and what you get. While parents have lots of influence, great parents can raise

The Hidden Advantages to Divorce When it comes to Kids

Shared Parenting Arrangement In Divorce Allows Parent To Be A Better Person And Better Parent To Their Kids

Divorce is generally bad for kids, and the effects are long-lasting. However, a mom recently explained a hidden advantage of divorce. Wouldn’t it be great to achieve this benefit without actually separating from your spouse? As with many married couples, life and romance changed with the arrival of three kids. Both parents were devoted to their children and did everything together. The dad didn’t simply help out with housework but saw it as a joint responsibility with his wife. This all seems pretty ideal, but it wasn’t.

In always doing things together as a family, this mom explained she never had any time for herself. She stopped doing yoga, meeting friends at Starbucks or retreating into the world of reading science fiction. After a while, the inevitable happened. This couple was great at parenting, but poor at taking care of themselves and each other.

Life changed dramatically for this mom after the divorce. In the shared parenting arrangement, she suddenly had lots of time for herself. This allowed her to be more attentive to her needs and become a better … Read More... “The Hidden Advantages to Divorce When it comes to Kids”

Divorce Study: Is There Support for The “Mars versus Venus” Theory?

emotional support informational support study

New Study Examines Differences Between Informational Support and Emotional Support

When John Gray wrote Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, his primary message was that in relationships men are usually the problem solvers and women are usually the ones wanting more empathy and understanding. Many therapists were critical of Gray’s book written in 1992, citing lack of research for his conclusions about gender differences. However, studies about the differences between informational support and emotional support conducted by University of Maryland and Wyoming psychologists Lorenzo, Barry and Khalifian, support John Gray’s theory. Click here to read the study.

In their published report, the psychologists studied 114 couples female/male who were newlywed and in their first marriage. They were studying the differences between two types of support, emotional support and informational support. They were examining the type of support preferred by an individual vs. the support type he or she received to see how overproviding or underproviding of the two types of support affected the happiness of the individual in the marriage.

Study Reveals Emotional Support Preferred By Both Parties

The study found that men lean towards providing informational advice by trying to problem solve while women often … Read More... “Divorce Study: Is There Support for The “Mars versus Venus” Theory?”

Parenting with Dr. Ramey: 2017’s Best Quotes Say a Lot About Us

Here’s my annual list of the most noteworthy quotes from 2017.

“I believe I was made the way I am, all parts of me, by my heavenly parents. They did not mess up when they gave me brown eyes … or when they made me gay. God loves me just this way, because he loves all his creations“ affirmed 12-year-old Savannah to her Mormon congregation. It’s about time that we judge people on how they act, not on who they love. This youngster should be praised for her courage, not criticized for her feelings.
“Give extra, get extra. Sometimes the little things last the longest” This ad for gum is also a wonderful philosophy for life. Small things can have a big impact. Never underestimate the power of a kind word, a warm embrace, a genuine smile, or your mere presence. Every day is a new opportunity to put aside yesterday’s troubles and hurts, and show others the best part of who you are.
“We have witnessed first-hand the stress that overdue fines can cause for students,” said by Steven Beardsley, in explaining why Harvard students will no longer have to pay fines for late books. There may

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