Divorce: New Sesame Street Videos Help Kids Deal with Trauma

toddler kissing Sesame Street Elmo

sesame street traumatic experiences helping childrenFor decades, Sesame Street has played on TV’s across the country, teaching children their ABC’s and 123’s, while also broadening their vocabulary, and increasing other academic skills. But now, Sesame Street is focused on another issue: helping children cope with traumatic experiences.

Children and Traumatic Experiences

A study conducted in 2016 found that nearly half of the children in the United States have experienced at least one traumatic or stressful event, including the death of a loved one, abuse, and divorce. The study also found that 1 in 5 of these children has experienced these events on more than one occasion. Click here to read the study.

How Can Sesame Street Help Children With Traumatic Experiences?

Children who experience traumatic experiences are more likely to develop posttraumatic stress disorder, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and even substance abuse. Early exposure to traumatic events affects the neurodevelopment of a child, which changes the way that they respond to stress and other experiences. According to the Department of Psychiatry at Saint Vincent’s Hospital in New York, “exposure to trauma also affects children’s ability to regulate, identify, and express emotions, and may have a negative effect on the way that a child views … Read More... “Divorce: New Sesame Street Videos Help Kids Deal with Trauma”

Why are Kids so Afraid of Being Real with their Parents?

daughter and mother laughing

kids afraid parents realSomething I say to kids typically strikes terror in their hearts—“maybe that’s something you should discuss with your mom and dad.” My advice is often met with fear and rejection.

Within the emotional security of my office, children learn to trust and reveal what they are really thinking and feeling. They don’t have to worry about being punished or hurting my feelings.

They freely talk about their perceptions of not being good enough to live up to the expectations of their parents.  Others discuss their resentment towards siblings or intense feelings of loneliness.  Kids are acutely aware of marital problems, and they share the terrible anxiety of wondering if and when their parents will separate.

Adolescents typically discuss their fears about fitting in and figuring out relationships. Self-doubts overwhelm them, even if they appear well-adjusted and confident. Their outer persona rarely matches their inner life.

I’m glad that these kids feel safe to discuss such issues in therapy, but my job is to make myself unnecessary. I coach kids how to get support from others rather than to develop a dependency on a therapist.

Why are kids so afraid of being real with their parents?

  1. My parents won’t understand.  Many
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Parenting with Dr. Ramey: 6 of the Best, Most Inspiring Quotes

family celebrating Christmas

parenting inspiration quotesIn addition to collecting baseball cards, I started writing down favorite quotes when I was in elementary school. My mom “cleaned out” (i.e., threw away) my cards when I went to college, but I’ve continued to collect the inspirational perspectives from others.

My collection has changed over the years. I’ve deleted “feel good” quotes that didn’t make any sense. Peter Pan’s admonition that “Anything is possible if you wish hard enough” falls into that category. Here are some of my favorites.

  • “The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.” (William Ward) Our happiness is less dependent upon what happens to us, and more related to how we adjust to minor frustrations and serious traumas. Therapy is about learning how to “adjust the sails” to deal with life.
  • “Sometimes you never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.” (Dr. Seuss) Many parents feel overwhelmed by the challenges of getting through the day, and fail to appreciate the fleeting joys of family life. I encourage families, both parents and children, to take a few moments to reflect upon the many good things they experience every day.
  • “If you’ve done
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Blast From The Past: Strategies to Make Your Christmas Less Stressful

Blast from the past 13 years Ohio Family Law Blog

Publisher’s Comment: This “Blast from the Past” comes from Psychotherapist Donna F. Ferber. She was kind enough to share this article with us 8 years ago. Excellent advice then and now from Donna!

christmas stressIf this is your first Christmas since the separation and divorce, the anticipation can fill you with sadness and trepidation. Here are some solid, easy tips to help make the holidays less painful and hopefully, maybe, even (surprisingly!) enjoyable!

Let go of traditions that no longer work for you. This is an opportunity to re-invent your holidays. Keep the traditions that you enjoy and get rid of the ones that you don’t. No one expects you to be on your best behavior during this time, so you can probably pull it off without anyone getting too upset.

Stick to your regular routine as closely as possible. Sleep, exercise, eat well and don’t skip those therapy appointments.

Don’t use money, alcohol, food, or sex to deal with pain and sadness. These indulgences will leave you poor, hung over, fat, and guilty on December 26th.

Don’t be afraid to do something different. Go away or stay home, but take a risk to use the holidays to try something … Read More... “Blast From The Past: Strategies to Make Your Christmas Less Stressful”

Helping Kids Without Therapy

young boy standing in wheat field

help kids therapyOne of six children has a mental health disorder, but most of these kids don’t receive professional help for their problems. The reasons include parental ignorance, apathy, finances, or simply feeling bewildered by a complex mental health system.

Some of our neediest kids live in families with some of our neediest parents. Most are loving parents who are too overwhelmed trying to get through the day. Taking their child to weekly therapy appointments and making a myriad of changes is simply beyond what they can accomplish.

If you can’t get involved with a mental health professional, try one of these suggestions.

  1. Make certain your child is getting enough sleep. Many of our kids are sleep-deprived. They may live in chaotic homes without a regular bedtime routine. Sleep deprivation has a big impact on kids’ behaviors. Your child may not have a behavior disorder, but rather a sleep problem.
  2. Be clear about your rules and expectations. Kids have a hard time adjusting to expectations that are ambiguous and often change. Decide on a few things that matter. Be clear and specific about those rules, and make certain your child can say them back to you.
  3. Be consistent in your consequences. Your
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Dealing with the Holidays if You Are in Divorce Transition…

college girl sitting on leaves in yard with hands raised

PUBLISHER’S NOTE Donna F. Ferber, LPC, LADC is a psychotherapist in private practice for 30 years in Farmington, Connecticut. She is a licensed professional counselor, a licensed alcohol and drug abuse counselor and an educator. In her private practice, Donna specializes in issues related to life transitions. These include but are not limited to divorce, remarriage, chronic illness, loss, relocation. Donna has been a guest contributor to the Ohio Family Law Blog since 2010. We have enjoyed collaborating on several articles over the years.

holidays divorce transitionEvery major life event, whether joyful or sad, brings on a period of transition as we adjust to the “new normal.” Even though these periods of transition occur throughout our lives, each requires us to discover a new and unique path as we struggle to move through uncharted waters. The death of a loved one, a divorce, a family estrangement, an illness, or sudden unemployment are some of the changes that shake us to our core. We are challenged in ways we could not imagine.

And in the midst of all this upheaval, the leaves  are beginning to turn and the temperatures drop. So, we pack away our sandals and shorts and find ourselves dealing with … Read More... “Dealing with the Holidays if You Are in Divorce Transition…”

Clues to Secret Lives of Teens

teen looking at social media icons

teen lingo PUBLISHER’S NOTE: We have published 2 articles recently about understanding current teen online lingo and about a new software product which allows parents the ability to monitor their kids online activities. Dr. Greg Ramey, a child psychologist and Dayton Daily News columnist wrote an excellent article a few weeks ago for his FamilyWise column. It really helps put this entire topic in greater context.

bark appIf you missed our prior articles, please read “Abbreviations Kids Use on Cellphones That Parents Should Know” and then the second one, “Parents – Are You Worried About Your Kids Online Safety?” With Dr. Ramey’s permission, here is “Clues to Secret Lives of Teens”:


teens social media

Your teen has a secret life — feeling, thinking and acting in ways unknown to most parents. Therapy offers young adults the confidentiality and safety to reveal themselves in ways that they cannot do with others. Here is a glimpse at your teen’s private world.

  1. High level of insecurity. Many teens feel uncomfortable and uncertain about who they are. They are excessively worried about everything from the color of their sneakers to the size of their privates or the shape of their breasts. They compare themselves to media
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