It seems as though many discussions with our kids or friends morph into mindless debates rather than genuine conversations. The goal is to win an argument rather than to understand another’s viewpoint.
This has been evident within the political arena. Moderation and compromise have become synonymous with selling out or giving in. We pay a high cost for this extremism — the loss of empathy.
Relationships are based on understanding another’s viewpoint. This means listening carefully and striving to appreciate another’s thoughts and feelings without inserting our perspective. During my graduate studies, a professor told me that establishing empathy with our patients is the most difficult skill psychologists had to learn. She was right.
It’s hard to listen. Many kids and their parents express outrageous thoughts and feelings that seem so misguided, illogical, and just plain wrong. Even so, I can’t begin to influence families in a positive direction until I emotionally and intellectually understand their worlds.
Empathy doesn’t mean condoning or agreeing with another. When kids tell me their parents hate them, I don’t agree with their feelings. I simply try to understand the basis of their emotions.
Marriage relationships often fail because one or both partners lack the … Read More... “3 Ways to Raise Empathetic Children”