My Divorce Timing – Should I File Now or Wait Until After the New Year?

divorce holidays

Covid-19 Pandemic Just One Of Many Factors That Lead To Divorce In 2020

divorce holidays

The timing of filing for a divorce can be a complicated decision. There are many factors to consider even in the normal Non-Covid times. But now there are even more factors to consider!

First off, in Ohio it is now too late to file a divorce or dissolution and get it finalized before the end of 2020. So, if that was your hope, you have missed that window of time.

I have been meeting with clients helping them formulate exit plans and discuss the timing options for filing their divorces. Here are some things to consider:

  1. Are You Safe?
     

    Needless to say, that the presence of domestic abuse is a huge factor to consider. If there is ongoing abuse, formulating an immediate ;escape plan’ should be a top priority. Figure out where you can move on a minute’s notice – perhaps temporarily stay with a family member, friend, co-worker, safe haven facility, or a church member? The existence of abuse may trump all the rest of the considerations mentioned below.

  2. COVID-19 Factors:
     

    Virtually everyone I meet with these days is grappling one way or another

Read More... “My Divorce Timing – Should I File Now or Wait Until After the New Year?”

The Times of the Year When Most Divorces Occur

divorce holidays

Do Major Holidays Impact Your Marriage And Lead To Divorce?

divorce holidaysWeather, and holidays affect our moods, but do divorce rates spike with the seasons? According to researchers in the state of Washington, the peak months for divorce filings occur in March and August, which is the period following summer and winter holidays.

Many couples tend to steer away from filing for divorce around Christmas or Hanukah, and also around summer vacation time. These are typically special times for families and couples going through difficult times are hopeful that holiday/vacation time is a time to help mend a troubled relationship and to have a new start. People often approach the holidays or a vacation trip with high expectations, but these times can be very stressful and emotionally charged. When the occasion doesn’t live up to their expectations, the unhappiness festers.

According to the research done by University of Washington sociologists the two peak months for divorce filings are March and August. Many couples, at least with children, opt for August as it is after summer vacation and before the kids head back to school.

March Is The Time For Divorce According To Study

But why March? The holidays are well … Read More... “The Times of the Year When Most Divorces Occur”

How to Navigate the Challenges that the Holidays can Bring

holiday celebrations

Do You Dread Holiday Celebrations And Family Gatherings?

holiday celebrationsIt’s a time of year with many holiday celebrations and gatherings. These are joyous experiences for many, but a difficult time for others. Our lives are not like a Hallmark Channel story with freshly baked cookies, fake snow, and conflicts that always have happy endings.

We know that our happiness comes more from the people whom we love rather than the gifts that we get.

However, past hurts (whether real or imagined) may feel particularly intense right now, in marked contrast to the apparent happiness around us.

Here are some particularly challenging situations.

  1. Divorce. Some kids tell me that they like the fact that their parents are divorced because they get twice as many gifts. Humor hides their pain. Most of them want what they will never get – their mom and dad back together again.

    The best gift you can give your children is to develop a business-like relationship with your ex-spouse. You need not forget yesterday’s betrayal and pain. You just need to love your kids more than you dislike your ex-spouse, and put their needs above your anger and anguish.

    Call your ex-spouse to work out the holiday visits,

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Blast From The Past: Holidays: Just Say No And Feel Empowered!

Blast from the past 13 years Ohio Family Law Blog

Holidays Got Your Down?

PUBLISHERS NOTE: “Congratulations! We all made it through Thanksgiving. So, the mad dash of the holiday season is officially upon us. This sage advice from psychotherapist, Donna F. Ferber, from 2013 warrants a repost. Take a breath. Slow down. And just say “no”.”

A Guide to Happier Holidays: Replace HO–HO-HO with NO-NO-NO!

holidaysWell, the holiday hoopla is ramping up. Displays of sparkly red and green stuff has taken center stage in our stores, catalogues are arriving in droves, internet sites are offering deals, discounts and sales on every imaginable product. Magazines at the grocery checkout display unbelievable glossy covers of gorgeous people, in gorgeous houses, serving gorgeous food. Now with the sudden drop in temperature and the promise of snow this week, the reality that the holidays are descending on us is unavoidable.

It feels impossible to slow this down or simply get a grip. It is like being swept up in some tinselly tidal wave. I don’t want to shop yet; I still am cleaning out the garden! Yet, as the heat clicks on, and my sweaters and even gloves begin to take center stage, it cannot be denied. Here comes the holidaysRead More... “Blast From The Past: Holidays: Just Say No And Feel Empowered!”

New Year, New Divorce? Things to Consider First!

Scrabble letters spelling divorce

divorce januaryExperts say that January is the most popular month of the year for couples to file for divorce in Ohio. With the hustle and bustle of the holidays (Thanksgiving and Christmas), it is common for couples to put off their divorce plans until after the first of the year. Even though many couples are struggling with their marriage before the holiday season, they tend to push back getting a divorce in order to make the holidays more enjoyable and memorable for their kids.

According to Cathy Meyer, who founded DivorcedWomenOnline.com and is a certified divorce consultant stated, “Dissatisfied husbands and wives begin searching for information on divorce immediately after the holidays”. She has experienced a huge increase in page views and searches the day after Christmas. People start looking for information before the New Year starts, but they cannot do much until the attorneys are back in the office, making January 12-16 the magic week for filings.

Courtney Stovall, founder of BounceBack.com, says that while it may be important to realize popular times for divorce filings, one should not ignore the heartbreak in the off months. “Statistically, sure several studies have come out that show that January has the … Read More... “New Year, New Divorce? Things to Consider First!”

Blast From The Past: Strategies to Make Your Christmas Less Stressful

Blast from the past 13 years Ohio Family Law Blog

Publisher’s Comment: This “Blast from the Past” comes from Psychotherapist Donna F. Ferber. She was kind enough to share this article with us 8 years ago. Excellent advice then and now from Donna!

christmas stressIf this is your first Christmas since the separation and divorce, the anticipation can fill you with sadness and trepidation. Here are some solid, easy tips to help make the holidays less painful and hopefully, maybe, even (surprisingly!) enjoyable!

Let go of traditions that no longer work for you. This is an opportunity to re-invent your holidays. Keep the traditions that you enjoy and get rid of the ones that you don’t. No one expects you to be on your best behavior during this time, so you can probably pull it off without anyone getting too upset.

Stick to your regular routine as closely as possible. Sleep, exercise, eat well and don’t skip those therapy appointments.

Don’t use money, alcohol, food, or sex to deal with pain and sadness. These indulgences will leave you poor, hung over, fat, and guilty on December 26th.

Don’t be afraid to do something different. Go away or stay home, but take a risk to use the holidays to try something … Read More... “Blast From The Past: Strategies to Make Your Christmas Less Stressful”

Dealing with the Holidays if You Are in Divorce Transition…

college girl sitting on leaves in yard with hands raised

PUBLISHER’S NOTE Donna F. Ferber, LPC, LADC is a psychotherapist in private practice for 30 years in Farmington, Connecticut. She is a licensed professional counselor, a licensed alcohol and drug abuse counselor and an educator. In her private practice, Donna specializes in issues related to life transitions. These include but are not limited to divorce, remarriage, chronic illness, loss, relocation. Donna has been a guest contributor to the Ohio Family Law Blog since 2010. We have enjoyed collaborating on several articles over the years.

holidays divorce transitionEvery major life event, whether joyful or sad, brings on a period of transition as we adjust to the “new normal.” Even though these periods of transition occur throughout our lives, each requires us to discover a new and unique path as we struggle to move through uncharted waters. The death of a loved one, a divorce, a family estrangement, an illness, or sudden unemployment are some of the changes that shake us to our core. We are challenged in ways we could not imagine.

And in the midst of all this upheaval, the leaves  are beginning to turn and the temperatures drop. So, we pack away our sandals and shorts and find ourselves dealing with … Read More... “Dealing with the Holidays if You Are in Divorce Transition…”

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