Humor Archives - Ohio Family Law Blog

30 Humorous or Interesting Quotes About Divorce

Divorce Lawyer: A Collection of Quotes That can be Helpful In Times of Divorce or Stress

Of course, divorcing is not a laughing matter, but humor can be helpful on occasion. You can thank my daughter-in-law, Bambi, for this post if you like it. She started me thinking about this blog by sharing a comment from a customer in the boutique, Eclectic Essentials, she and my youngest son Colin own in the Oregon District in downtown Dayton.

She called me on the phone and said, “A new customer came in the shop and told us he was redecorating his house after his divorce, and he loved our store.” She said the middle-aged man said to her “You know I found out that I am allergic to marriage.” She looked at him puzzled and he went on to say, “Yup. I always break-out in a nasty divorce!” She thought that as a divorce lawyer that I would like the story. She was right and it made me laugh!

That was the impetus to the theme of this blog and my sharing some of the other interesting or humorous “divorce quotes” that I have enjoyed over my 40+ years as a … Read More... “30 Humorous or Interesting Quotes About Divorce”

Why Preparing Clients For Deposition Is Like Making Pancakes

What is the one HUGE secret for making fluffy pancakes that rise like they should, as opposed to those paper thin, dense duds devoid of any texture or sponginess? And, by the way, as a long time weekend pancake slinger, this secret applies to homemade recipes (my usual choice) all the way down to the instant “just add water” mixes.

The secret? Don’t overwork the batter and DO NOT stir the lumps out of the mix. Simply add enough liquid (per whatever directions you’re following) to dissolve the dry batter and gently fold the liquid in. Within a few seconds, you’ll have enough consistency to be able to spoon or ladle a lump-filled blob of batter onto your griddle or into your pan. And then watch them slowly puff up and rise, in airy like, glorious fashion.

Not too long ago, I came to the conclusion that preparing our clients for deposition is a lot like making pancakes. We hit clients with all these pre-deposition rules like “don’t guess,” “don’t ramble,” “answer only the question you’re asked and don’t volunteer anything,” etc. I could go on and cite about 15 more “rules” we’ve all learned over the years and have … Read More... “Why Preparing Clients For Deposition Is Like Making Pancakes”

10 Tips to Ruin Your Divorce Case and Waste as Much Money as Possible!

Attorney Diana Mercer sent me these tips in her newsletter on January 19, 2011. Her points are excellent and certainly worth repeating. They really made me chuckle because they are spot on! I have also had an opportunity to read the recent book she co-authored with Kate Jane Wennechuk titled Making Divorce Work: 8 Essential Keys in Resolving Conflicts and Rebuilding your Life, available on Amazon. It is excellent! I whole-heartedly recommend it! To learn more about the book, please take a look at the video about it which I have attached at the end of the article. Thanks Diana for your attempts to bring sanity to the chaos of divorce…

Tip # 1

Organize nothing. Either bring none of your financial records or requested documents to your attorney’s office or court hearing, or bring all your financial records in a paper sack overflowing with miscellaneous papers.

Take no responsibility for any aspect of your case. Procrastinate getting documents together and ask your lawyer to handle even the simplest stuff because you don’t have time and, of course, money is no object.

Tip #2

Call your lawyer repeatedly, ideally several times a day, and ask the same question … Read More... “10 Tips to Ruin Your Divorce Case and Waste as Much Money as Possible!”

Bringing Laughter Back Into Your Life

Joel Goodman of the Humor Project in Saratoga Springs, New York, says, “Humor is what lubricates life.” Humor can help you deal with all the stressors in your life. Humor cannot erase the situation, but it can take the sting out of many things, thus reducing their negative impact. In order for humor to be curative in your life, you need to find your own laugh button. Remember, divorce is one part of your life, don’t make it your whole life!

Jennie remarked recently how surprised she was that she could still feel joy taking a walk on a beautiful autumn morning, even though she felt devastated by her divorce. Nurture those feelings of joy, laughter, and wonder. Laughter is not just a luxury; it is a vital piece in the healing process. It is especially important during times of stress. It provides our body, heart, and mind with a welcome and necessary reprieve. It just doesn’t feel good, it actually IS good. Laughter changes the chemicals our body secretes-Endorphins boost feelings of well being and peace.

Creating humor from a stressful situation gives you the opportunity to experience a shift in perspective. No one is suggesting that you become … Read More... “Bringing Laughter Back Into Your Life”

Gift Ideas for the Newly Divorced! Some Tasteful and Well…Others Not So Much!

Over the past month or so, I have come across some interesting items related to post-divorce parties, celebrations and gifts. In my opinion, some of them are respectable, others are pretty far out there, and a few are bizarre or just sort of crass. Different strokes for different folks, I guess. Nonetheless, I will share some with our readers.

Perhaps this idea might appeal to the very “well-healed”. How about celebrating your divorce with a memorable party in Tuscany, Italy? You bring your friends, and the vendor will take care of the rest. “We believe in love, and divorce is the very first moment your new life starts and opens to new love and happiness. Let us throw your divorce party in Tuscany with good food, wine, music and new ideas,” they say. Imagine you and your friends jetting off for a leisurely trip to Italy. A glass of Chianti wine will be there to welcome you. Then you will start visiting vineyards, have cooking lessons and eat amazing food. You will be able to explore nearby cities such as Florence, Siena, and San Gimignano. Top it all off by having a fantastic party, with a “solemn” celebration of your … Read More... “Gift Ideas for the Newly Divorced! Some Tasteful and Well…Others Not So Much!”

So You Want To Be A Parent…

In these challenging and difficult times, and with depressing news and economic turmoil seemingly everywhere, I thought it was worth re-publishing this humorous but poignant “Job Description” recently posted by fellow family-law blogger, Martha Milam, the publisher of the excellent Durham Family Law Journal. Click here to read and enjoy her blog!

POSITION:
Mother, Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Father, Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION: Long-term, team players needed, for challenging, permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends, including frequent 24-hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel is required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses are not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES: Job responsibilities continue for the rest of your life. You must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. You must be willing to bite your tongue repeatedly. Also, you must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat – in … Read More... “So You Want To Be A Parent…”