School Year Preparations For Child And Parent

How To Prepare For A Successful School Experience – 10 Practical Back To School Tips for Parent And Child Transitioning Into A Separation or Divorce

school child parentSchool is right around the corner for many children and their parents.  This time of the year, while always somewhat stressful for children, can bring even more anxious unknowns for a child when their parents are separated.  Regardless of your relationship with your former spouse there are some steps you can take to ensure your children, and their teachers are prepared for the coming year.

The first thing to remember is even if you’re not on good terms with your spouse, you must respect them as a mother and a father.  Being able to set aside marital differences to ensure your child has a smooth and educational start to the school year is essential as a parent.  Below are some steps that every parent should take, regardless of your relationship with each other.

  1. Communication:  Make sure you’re communicating about school work, grades, extracurricular activities and other school events with your spouse.  Work out a parenting schedule. Make sure both of you know what’s on the horizon, what assignments are assigned, and when they’re due.  
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Parents Behavior During Divorce Can Often Lead To Child Favoritism

Behavior Dangers: Poll Reveals Financial Or Marital Stress Can Affect Parents Behavior Toward Their Child

parents behavior child childrenA recent 60 minutes “vanity fair poll” discussed numerous situations in which parents discussed their feelings, and opinions regarding their children.  The poll consisted of calling 1,000 adults nationwide and polling their opinion.

Some of the results were obvious, for example 90% of the parents polled stated that of all their children, they did not maintain a favorite, and all were equal in their eyes.  An article in Psychology Today discussed the dangers of not treating your children equal.  Stating often, a child personality and behavior play a large role in favoritism, in that parents often pick their “best” child.  This is also significant because once a child maintains the “favorite” role; this attention can mold their personality and behavior.

Another point the article makes is how stress, often financial or marital, can affect the way individuals approach their children, often creating a favorite, and reducing the ability to either mend a relationship or to show your true affection.

Another topic the poll considered was the “behavior blamed on parents” question, asking which behavior can most likely be blamed on … Read More... “Parents Behavior During Divorce Can Often Lead To Child Favoritism”

Parent Questionnaire and Information Sheet

Completing the Parent Questionnaire/Information Sheet in Your Divorce

parentIf you are a resident of the State of Ohio and the County of Montgomery, Rule 4.28 of the Local Rules of the Domestic Relations Court, reflects that the “Court requires that all parties in divorce or legal separation cases involving minor children, complete and return to the Court a Parent Questionnaire and Information Sheet prior to the final hearing in the proceeding. What information is addressed by the Parent Questionnaire and Information Sheet?

The Court is making inquiry regarding certain basic information from each party:

A.  Personal Information. The Court is seeking information as to the party’s mailing address, telephone number(s), current position of employment, current work schedule, employment history, and name and phone number of the party’s attorney.

How could this information be useful to the Court? The Court would see “red flags” if a party is without current employment as issues would be raised as to child support and spousal support. The Court would be much happier to see that both parties are gainfully employed with decent incomes.

B.  Marital History. Have the parties been involved with other separations or divorces? Who left home first? What have … Read More... “Parent Questionnaire and Information Sheet”

School Resumes, How To Start The School Year Off Well!

Tips to help your children prepare for the challenges of a new school year

school yearThe lazy, hazy days of summer are coming to an end, as a new school year is quickly approaching. My wife, a school teacher of 30 plus years, suggested that we post an article about this topic of starting the school year well.  So with her help, here it is.

Although they may protest, most children like the routine that school brings, and they are ready to get back into the swing of the school year. The new school year is exciting because students get the opportunity to have a fresh start. However it can also be a time of anxiousness when kids worry about things such as will I like my new teacher or will my friends be in my class? It can also be nerve racking for those who are going from elementary to middle school, or middle school to high school, or for those who are moving to a new school district.

Establish school year traditions and celebrations

As adults we have memories of getting ready for a new school year, whether it was picking out new school supplies, or finding … Read More... “School Resumes, How To Start The School Year Off Well!”

Parenting Tips on Gifts and Teens Who Don’t Want to Visit

parentingFor those of you who follow our blog, you already know that local child psychologist Dr. Greg Ramey is a frequent contributor.  Dr. Ramey is the vice president for outpatient services at Dayton Children’s and writes FamilyWise, a weekly parenting column in the Dayton Daily News that is distributed through the New York Times wire service. He is also a clinical assistant professor of pediatrics at Wright State University Boonshoft School of Medicine.  From time to time, Dr. Ramey publishes in his Sunday column in the Dayton Daily News letters or emails that he has received from parents and his response to those questions in a Q & A format.

Here are a few dilemmas that I thought parents might find interesting. The first is from a mother who doesn’t approve of gifts that her children receive from their father, while the second letter discusses visitation issues for a teen who is resisting going to his father’s as it is getting in the way with his social life.

Parenting Tip: In Her House, Mom Can Veto Video Games

Q.  I dread this time of the year because of the constant conflicts with my ex-spouse regarding Christmas gifts for our two … Read More... “Parenting Tips on Gifts and Teens Who Don’t Want to Visit”

Parallel Parenting: When You and Your Ex Can’t Play Nice

How Parallel Parenting is a viable alternative to banging your head against the wall

Parallel ParentingThe continued post-divorce acrimony that plays out in the arena of parenting is the probably the most aggravating and stressful part of divorce for all involved. Parents struggle with a sense of wanting to make this transition easy for their children but when left over marital issues continue to play out in the co parenting arena, the adults often throw up their hands in frustration. The continued conflict is worrisome as it is the fighting, not marital status, that hurts the kids.

So, here you are embroiled in a constant struggle of trying to play “nice.” Ideally we would all like co-parenting to be like silly sit-coms with mad-cap situations leading to easy going resolution. The parenting books tell us how it “should” go, but is it too idealistic to believe this is possible all, or even most, of the time? After all, if you had good conflict resolution with your former spouse, you might not have gotten divorced in the first place. Also, we need to consider that the crumbling of a marriage and the subsequent divorce process can be extremely hurtful- containing aspects of … Read More... “Parallel Parenting: When You and Your Ex Can’t Play Nice”

Parenting with an Uncooperative Ex

Parenting with an Uncooperative Ex: A Divorce Lawyer’s Perspective

Parenting Tips for dealing with an Uncooperative Ex Spouse!

parentingThis topic is an exceedingly broad one, but I will try to share my insights from my perspective as a practicing family law attorney for the past 34 years.  The original idea to write this article was that of Connecticut psychotherapist, Donna Ferber. I thought it was a great idea of hers to tackle this subject; from both a therapist’s perspective and a lawyer’s perspective.  Here is the link to Donna’s perceptive take about parenting with an uncooperative parent in her blog article, The Uncooperative Co-Parent, posted on her blog February 18, 2012.  In addition, she gave me permission to repost her article in this blog on February 29, 2012.

When the parties have children, while it might be desirable, it’s impossible to apply a “no contact rule” and completely disassociate themselves from their uncooperative ex spouse. The parties have to come to some sort of arrangement when they have children and when there is parenting time with their ex-spouse. Ideally, in parenting, parents should develop a direct channel of communication with each other and not use their children as messengers. … Read More... “Parenting with an Uncooperative Ex”

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