Parenting Issues Archives - Page 4 of 10

3 steps to raising good losers

good losers ramey Football star Cam Newton got it all wrong when he declared “show me a good loser and I’ll show you a loser,” as an excuse for his rude behavior after his team’s defeat in the Super Bowl.

Teaching our kids how to deal with adversity, or be a good loser, is one of the important skills that they need to learn.

Good and bad stuff happens to us every day. It’s easy to enjoy life’s successes, but how we respond to life’s setbacks determines our happiness. Psychologists call this resiliency.

Every day I work with kids who have survived terrible situations. Some are victims of horrific sexual abuse, or live in severely dysfunctional families. Others are trying to grapple with the emotional turbulence of their parent’s divorce, or the death of a sibling.

Some of these emotional scars will resonate throughout their childhood and beyond. Other children figure out a way to put bad stuff in life’s rearview mirror and lead healthy and productive lives.

Can we teach resiliency at a young age to prepare kids to deal with life’s tough times? The experts say we can.

Here are the two attributes of resilient kids.

First, kids with good resiliency … Read More... “3 steps to raising good losers”

Are you using the correct parenting style?

What Is The Best Parenting Style To Raise Your Children? One Parenting Style May Be All You Need Says Study

ramey parenting style

Which of the following best describes your approach to raising your children?

Permissive. These types of parents tend to be very warm, engaging, and accepting of their children. They encourage their kids to make their own decisions. They avoid using punishment and tend to be rather lenient. Rules are viewed more as guidelines, with kids given lots of freedom without close parental supervision.
Authoritarian. Children in these families have strict rules and firm consequences. Parents are in control, not the kids. These are demanding parents with high expectations. Parental flexibility is feared as a sign of weakness, with a concern that children will manipulate the situation.
Uninvolved. Parents using this approach are generally very preoccupied with their own lives, and leave the children to figure things out on their own. There are few expectations for the children. Youngsters are viewed as small adults, with a great deal of freedom and flexibility.
Authoritative. This style reflects parents who set clear limits on their children’s behavior, but combine that with warmth and affection. The parents are in charge, but there is close

Family Survival Guide: Handling Tough Times

family survival guide Some families I work with are going through some of the toughest challenges of their lives. In addition to having problems with their kids, many parents report financial difficulties and marital dissatisfaction.

This trifecta of issues frequently results in intense feelings of depression, denial, anger or helplessness. Here’s how parents successfully navigate such tough times.

Develop a social support system. I urge parents to reach out to friends, relatives, work colleagues and others for support. I understand the natural inclination of not wanting to burden others with your problems. However, relationships are essential in providing both diversion from our troubles, and emotional support for getting through the day.Don’t ever underestimate the impact of a warm smile, a gentle hug, a kind word or just the accepting presence from a friend.
Gain perspective. When overwhelmed by today’s turmoil, it’s easy to forget yesterday’s calm. I urge both kids and parents to reflect upon and be grateful for the pleasant times in their families’ histories.Here’s a fun homework assignment. I ask parents to talk about some of their favorite family photos. This simple activity typically prompts lots of discussion and laughter. It forces families to remember their many good times and helps

Raising Mentally and Emotionally Tough Kids

tough kids If you want your children to be successful, raise them to be emotionally and mentally tough.

Tough people don’t get upset easily. They are resilient in the face of adversity. They are great problem solvers, focusing on ways to deal with problems rather than complaining about things they can’t control.

These types of people don’t deny their emotions, but they don’t allow themselves to be victimized by their feelings. They get angry, depressed and anxious like the rest of us. However, their mental guidepost is a motto used by the Navy Seals. They are comfortable being uncomfortable.

They view unpleasant feelings or bad events as messages to be understood and acted upon. Their behaviors are deliberate, with an emphasis on what they can do differently rather than on what others should be doing.

Many kids that I see in my office complain about stressful events that are not problems to mentally and emotionally tough kids. The level of stress hasn’t increased with our kids over the years. Rather, more kids seem emotionally weak and unprepared to deal with life’s challenges.

Here’s how you can raise tough kids.

Develop a tough mental mindset. This toughness starts with the way we think

Parents’ Day: Have You Heard About National Parents’ Day

Do you Celebrate National Parents’ Day? What Is It, And Is It Really A Holiday We Celebrate In The United States?

parents' day national holiday When I was asked to write an article about National Parents’ Day, my first reaction was to ask, “What is it?” I have not heard about it. Do Hallmark and American Greetings Cards have cards available to exchange for persons wanting to celebrate this day? I am a subscriber to Jacquie Lawson Animated Greeting Cards and use her website to send cards and greetings to friends and relatives. Her list of holidays includes the following: New Year’s Day, Valentine’s Day, St. Patrick’s Day, Easter, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, July 4th or Independence Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Parents’ Day was not included in her list of holidays.

What is a holiday? Webster’s New World Dictionary defines a “holiday” as follows: “A day of freedom from labor (work), often one set aside by law”. When we think of Christmas, we envision Christmas trees, festive lights, Christmas cards, and presents. When we think of Easter, we envision the Easter Bunny, Easter baskets, colored eggs, and Easter cards. When we think of Valentine’s Day, we think of red shaped hearts, boxes … Read More... “Parents’ Day: Have You Heard About National Parents’ Day”

Should you have children? Ask yourself these questions

children parenting About 20 percent of women don’t have children, a rate twice as high as the 1970s according to the Pew Research Center. For some, the decision is due to life circumstances or medical problems. For about 10 percent of women, it is a purposeful choice reflective of their values, lifestyles and interests.

This decision is life altering. Consider the following before deciding to be a parent.

Do you like children? Some people just don’t enjoy being around kids. This may be difficult to admit, but please be honest with yourself.
Are you in a stable relationship? Raising children will constantly strain your relationship. Parenting requires lots of compromise and communication. It’s misguided to bring children into a relationship marked by substance abuse, instability or turmoil and hope that kids will somehow erase those problems. The impact will likely be the opposite. Children exacerbate existing dysfunctions in relationships.
Are you willing to sacrifice, often and indefinitely? You lose a great deal of freedom the day a child enters your world.I’ll forever remember the day we brought our daughter home from the hospital. We sat on the sofa, taking turns holding this beautiful little girl, thrilled beyond belief. However, from that day

Why Kids Shouldn’t be Your Highest Priority

kids highest priority If I’m speaking with a group of parents and I want to elicit a lively debate, I only need to say the following:

“Kids shouldn’t be your highest priority”.

As a youngster, I remember my dad telling me that “your mom always comes first,” but I really didn’t understand what he meant. It wasn’t until I spent many years working with kids and families that I realized that focusing your life around the needs and wants of your children was a serious mistake.

I’ve gotten some passionate feedback on this position from many parents. My favorite comment was from a mom of an infant. “I’ll tell that to my six-month-old the next time she wakes up in the middle of the night screaming for food.” One reader’s comments were more personal. “You must not have kids. Having children means sacrificing what you want for what they need.”

As a parent of three children, I understand that there are many times when taking care of our kids must come before anything else. Parenting involves lots of compromise and sacrifice.

However, always putting your children first is bad for them, bad for you, and bad for your relationship with your spouse.

Page 4 of 10

1 2 3 4 5 6 … 10