Are Differing Post-Divorce Parenting Styles Causing Conflict?

postdiv.jpgHow do you handle it if after a divorce you and your Ex have different values or parenting styles? Do you hear “Mommy would let me” or “It is much more fun to live with Daddy”? Here is some great advice on this topic frequently raised by clients to their divorce lawyers. Dr. Greg Ramey, PhD, a child psychologist at Dayton Children’s Hospital and author of the Family Wise Column in the Dayton Daily News responded as follows:

Question:

My 7-year-old came back from a visit with his dad and asked me why he can do things there that he can’t do at home (e.g., stay up late, watch certain videos and eat certain types of food). I have an excellent relationship with my ex and I don’t want to say or do anything that will cause problems. I disagree with my ex on these issues but I don’t want to say that to my son.

Answer:

You can be honest with your son without criticizing your ex-husband. How about trying something as simple as this?”Grownups sometimes have different opinions on raising kids. Families may have different rules about bedtime, television and chores. I do things here that I Read More... “Are Differing Post-Divorce Parenting Styles Causing Conflict?”

“Helping Children Succeed After Divorce”, Seminar Update

sem3.jpgIt has been six months since our first blog article appeared regarding the Montgomery County Domestic Relations Court’s “mandatory requirement” that both parents must attend a seminar intending to assist parents in understanding what each must do to help their children succeed after a divorce or dissolution. Several questions have arisen since the initial article was published, and I shall endeavor to address them.

Question #1: Divorce is proceeding in Montgomery County, Ohio, but Wife/Mother has relocated to the State of Florida.  What is she supposed to do about the requirement to attend a seminar in the State of Ohio?

Once again, I contacted Galen Curry, Manager of the Parent Education Department of the Domestic Relations Court of Montgomery County, Ohio, and he advised me of the following options:

  • Mother could arrange to take the course in Montgomery County, Ohio, before the final divorce hearing, immediately after the final divorce hearing, or within a few days of the final divorce hearing in the State of Ohio.
  • Mother could arrange to take the course in Montgomery County, Ohio, before the final divorce hearing, immediately after the final divorce hearing, or within a few days of the final divorce hearing in the
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A Commentary: Nurturing Children After Divorce

post_divorce.jpgConsidering a multitude of differing perspectives and insights helps me to better hone my skills as a divorce lawyer.  What I see and hear every day is rarely black or white, but a rainbow of shades of gray. One way of broadening my viewpoint is to read all sorts of blogs each week, an activity which I totally enjoy! Consistently, one of my favorites is Michael Mastracci’s Divorce Without Dishonor Blog. Mike is an excellent attorney from Baltimore, Maryland. His own difficult and acrimonious divorce and child custody battle led to his personal interest in collaborative family law.  Attorneys and clients both should include his blog on their frequent read list. Mike regularly espouses ethical, moral and philosophical standards that we should aspire to meet. I have personally and professionally been a proponent of child welfare issues for over 30 years.  So, when I read his recent post about “What We Are Teaching Our Children of Separation and Divorce,” I had to ask Mike if I could have his permission to republish it. He kindly agreed. Here it is:

“What We Are Teaching Our Children of Separation and Divorce”

I stumbled upon a quote, while reading some other blogs that … Read More... “A Commentary: Nurturing Children After Divorce”

Moms, Stepmothers and Grandmothers, Please Take a Bow!

NOTE: Due to its timeless nature, this article from the Ohio Family Law Blog is being republished from May 10, 2008.
mothersday2.jpg
Naturally Mother’s Day is a special day for families and especially for mothers. In this day and age however, there are often multiple females who may play a key role in a child’s life. Stepmothers and grandmothers raising their grandchildren as their own are now quite the norm. These women need to be recognized on Mother’s Day.

Stepmothers are often portrayed in a negative light. It is important to look at all sides, as a step mom often has to walk the tight rope. She has to carefully navigate the road so that she is an integral part of her new child or children’s lives, while still respecting the child’s need to honor and love their own mother. Grandmothers raising grandchildren as their own child has been an increasing occurrence in our society. Across the United States, more than 6 million children are being raised in households headed by grandparents and other relatives. In my opinion they should be nominated as saints! In addition to a child’s natural mother, a stepmother or a primary care giving grandmother can play … Read More... “Moms, Stepmothers and Grandmothers, Please Take a Bow!”

Two Thumbs Up for the “Helping Children Succeed After Divorce” Seminar!

child_sem.jpgThe “Helping Children Succeed After Divorce” program was created in 1991 through the concerted efforts of the Children’s Hospital Guidance Centers Divorce Services, the Franklin County Domestic Relations Court, and the Family Law Committee of the Columbus (Ohio) Bar Association.  The three (3) hour seminar was designed to provide parents with information to help them better understand their children’s reaction to the divorce process and to adjust to the inevitable changes that divorce brings to the family unit.

In Montgomery County, Ohio, attendance at the “Helping Children Succeed After Divorce” seminar, hereinafter sometimes referred to as “Helping Children” is not an option for divorcing parents but a requirement of the Domestic Relations Court. If a parent fails to attend the seminar, the assigned Judge can deny “parenting time” or “visitation” to that parent or refuse to file the Final Decree of Divorce or Dissolution. The program is taught by Galen Curry, Manager of the Parent Education Department of the Court, or by Margaret Leger (Beth) of the same Department.  The program is offered  during morning hours (9 a.m. to noon), afternoon hours (2 p.m. to 5 p.m.), and evening hours (6 p.m. to 9 p.m.) to accommodate the scheduling needs … Read More... “Two Thumbs Up for the “Helping Children Succeed After Divorce” Seminar!”

Father’s Day Reflections, Including Freud and Tongue Biting

Father’s Day can be an extremely difficult one for many children. Unfortunately, thousands of children will not be with their father this Father’s Day due to many factors including divorce, death or service in the armed forces. As a result, many children don’t have the opportunity for a traditional Father’s Day.

I’d like to offer some thoughts about the importance of this day from the perspective of both a father and a practicing divorce lawyer for 30 years:

  1. Take the High Road. If it’s within your power to help a child spend some time or even talk with his or her father on Father’s Day, take the high road and make a special effort to make it happen. Across the country, thousands of children and fathers don’t have the opportunity to share their feelings with each other.
  2. Are You Too Busy to See Your Children? If you happen to be a father who lives with, or has access, to your children, realize how blessed you are to have children and don’t waste the opportunity to tell them how much you love them and how important they are to you! Thousands of fathers without such an opportunity would envy being in
Read More... “Father’s Day Reflections, Including Freud and Tongue Biting”

Mother’s Day – A Very Special Day!

Naturally Mother’s Day is a special day for families and especially for mothers. In this day and age however, there are often multiple females who may play a key role in a child’s life. Stepmothers and grandmothers raising their grandchildren as their own are now quite the norm. These women need to be recognized on Mother’s Day.

Stepmothers are often portrayed in a negative light. It is important to look at all sides, as a step mom often has to walk the tight rope. She has to carefully navigate the road so that she is an integral part of her new child or children’s lives, while still respecting the child’s need to honor and love their own mother. Grandmothers raising grandchildren as their own child has been an increasing occurrence in our society. Across the United States, more than 6 million children are being raised in households headed by grandparents and other relatives. In my opinion they should be nominated as saints! In addition to a child’s natural mother, a stepmother or a primary care giving grandmother can play a pivotal role in a child’s life.

Kate Fogerty has written extensively about the challenges of blending families. In a piece … Read More... “Mother’s Day – A Very Special Day!”

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