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Blast From The Past: Tips on Dealing with Your Divorce Lawyer [And Why it Matters]

Blast from the past 13 years Ohio Family Law Blog

PUBLISHERS NOTE: Having recently completed 4 very lengthy high conflict cases over the last few months, I find myself reflecting about the facets of the attorney/client relationship in each. In a different way, each was exceedingly grueling. So I decided to reread several of my past blog articles on this topic. Below is one from 4 years ago which I like a lot.
I would now add another piece of advice to it – “Extreme perseverance may be required to obtain your goals”. While disentangling the parties quickly is always the goal, unfortunately that may not be possible in all cases. At the initial conference, I typically explain to clients that a divorce often is more like a marathon race than a sprint. Work closely and communicate well with your divorce lawyer to understand where your case is headed and all of your options! Stay strong and be prepared to persevere as necessary!

How To Get The Best Outcome From Your Divorce Lawyer

So, you have selected your divorce lawyer. Here are some tips for how to deal with him/her to hopefully achieve the best outcome possible.

Be Candid and Honest – Don’t ever leave your divorce lawyer in the

Tips For Texting During a Divorce

Helpful Tips Regarding Texting with your Spouse in a Divorce

Texting has become for many of us, a fast and easy way to communicate. However, when you are going through a divorce, it is important to rethink about texting your soon to be ex. In the past, I have addressed this issue, but I think it is important to designate a blog to specifically address texting and how it can impact your separation/divorce.

Did you know that the court recognizes text messages as admissible evidence? The judge’s final decision regarding alimony, custody, distribution of debts and assets, etc. may be influenced by texts that have been presented as evidence. You must be careful what you put in either an email or a text, or it may come back to haunt you. On the same note, while it might be tempting to post a snarky comment regarding your spouse on social media, such as instagram or facebook, don’t do it. Your spouse could use these posts against you in your divorce trial.

Below are some tips regarding texting with your spouse.

Texting is a fast way to respond to someone, but think carefully before you fire off a response … Read More... “Tips For Texting During a Divorce”

Tips for Smooth Parenting Exchanges for Divorced Parents

Tips To Help Make Visitation Exchange Go Smoothly For You, Your Ex, And Your Child

Visitation Exchange Involving Children can often be Stressful after Divorce. Tips to make Parental Exchanges Trouble-Free for all!

It goes without saying that in most cases divorce is a difficult and an emotional time, especially when children are involved. Even though you may have worked out the details of “sharing” the children the actual exchange of the child/children can be a stressful time and can bring out the worst in the parents. Remembering what you both want is in the best interest of the children is so important! This blog article is going to offer tips to help ensure that the swap goes well.

BE PREPARED IN ADVANCE

First of all be prepared and plan ahead so that your child has all that he or she will need at your ex’s house. It is a good idea to have clothes, toys, and school supplies at both residences, but there are certain items that will most likely need to travel back and forth. In order to make the transition easier, try to get everything ready in advance to reduce the stress. Make sure any medications are … Read More... “Tips for Smooth Parenting Exchanges for Divorced Parents”

Tips to Avoid Exhaustion After Your Divorce

I tell new clients to prepare themselves at the start of their divorce. My warning – A divorce is typically not a sprint but is usually a marathon! So, prepare yourself accordingly! So, how does one go about avoiding that “marathon”?

Here are my top tips to help you avoid total exhaustion after your divorce.

Tip One: Establish Your Top Priorities

I can’t tell you how critically important this truly is. Contested divorce litigation moves slowly and is very expensive! Some individuals come to the initial conference with a warrior’s mindset. They are often “hurt” and want to lash back by fighting everything. Please understand that there is really no “winner” or “loser” in divorce litigation. That “fight at all costs” approach is a mistake for most people. Why? Because litigating all the small issues will take forever and likely cost a fortune!

Some divorce lawyers may not agree with me on this. Many are willing to champion every fight their client wants. Others seem to have a form “checklist”. They start with the first item on the top of their checklist and won’t move on to item 2 until number 1 has been resolved. Yes. This is … Read More... “Tips to Avoid Exhaustion After Your Divorce”

Here are Some of the Worst Things that You Can Do After a Divorce!

Important “Don’t Dos” Post-Divorce Checklist Could Be Crucial In Healing From Painful Divorce Proceedings

Should you use a Post-Divorce Checklist? How about Tips to Avoid!

Typically going through a divorce is a “bad” experience. Often times these are very long painful proceedings. A couple of years ago I posted a blog article titled “A Post-Divorce Checklist“. Here is a link to that article. Below is the flip-side to that post!

Here are 8 “Don’t Dos Post-Divorce.”

DON’T EXPECT YOUR EX TO BE REASONABLE

If your Ex was not reasonable during the divorce, it is likely that his/her “reasonableness” level won’t have changed after the divorce is finalized! So, that means to plan accordingly. Try to plan way ahead so you can get your divorce lawyer involved if necessary. But always do your best to maintain a positive relationship with your Ex after the divorce.
DON’T TRY TO GET EVEN WITH YOUR EX

No matter how miserably you were treated during your marriage, never try to retaliate after the case is over! It likely will come back to bite you! I can share many many stories of former clients who thought that when the case was over that they

Tips to Maintain Good Communications with Your Spouse During a Divorce

Divorce with your spouse not going well? Good communication plays important role for a happier outcome

It would seem to go without saying, that good communication between a couple is an essential part of a good marriage. However, did you know that good communication between the two spouses is just as important when navigating the often turbulent waters during a divorce? As a married couple you may have had good communication, or perhaps your lack of communication was one of the reasons for the divorce.

No matter what has happened in the past it is important to be able to communicate with your soon to be ex. You may be experiencing sadness, anger, stress, frustration, among other emotions, but by establishing an effective means of communication is an important part to help the process move on more smoothly.

You might be tempted to minimize contact with your ex, however this is not the way to go. If children are involved you will have to communicate with your spouse for many years to come. However, if you were married to an abusive person or if there is a restraining order involved, then it is vital you consult with … Read More... “Tips to Maintain Good Communications with Your Spouse During a Divorce”

Blast From The Past: Coping with Difficult Behavior

How to Cope with Difficult Behavior and Difficult People in a Divorce

PUBLISHER’S NOTE: This blog from guest contributor, Donna F. Ferber, LPC, LADC, is as meaningful today as it was when we originally posted it on May 1, 2010! We have a ton of interesting articles in our archives of the Ohio Family Law Blog. Use our Search tool and enjoy a few oldie but goodies!

Throughout life, we sometimes encounter difficult people. We may argue with them, fall silent, comply or take distance. In a divorce, particularly an acrimonious one, difficult behaviors abound. No one is on their best behavior under this amount of stress. Figuring out how to cope with difficult behavior is a bit easier once you can identify why a person behaves in a certain way and what he/she hopes to accomplish.

Here is a list of the most common behaviors that frustrate us all and suggestions for dealing with them:

The Bully – uses temper tantrums to overwhelm you; makes insulting and cutting remarks. Needs to feel superior and not lose control of the situation. Wants to get his/her own way.

*Stand up, listen, do not attack back, and take time-outs. Keep … Read More... “Blast From The Past: Coping with Difficult Behavior”

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