How To Be Able To Look Back And Say, “My Life Got Better After Divorce”

better after divorce karen finn life coach

PUBLISHERS’S NOTE: Last week I introduced the concept of a “Divorce Coach” to our readers. Here is an interesting article written by Divorce Coach Dr. Karen Finn. She has a terrific website at www.drkarenfinn.com. Let me know your thoughts about her insights! I am hoping you want to read more as she has graciously agreed to be a regular guest contributor to the Ohio Family Law Blog.

Rebuilding Your Life After A Painful Dissolution – Must Read Tips On How To Make Life Better After Divorce!

better after divorce karen finn life coachThe process of divorce — the lead-up, the decision, the legal circus — is often more about getting out of unhappiness than stepping into happiness. Being able to say, “My life got better after divorce”  may be a long time coming. But holding onto that vision can fuel your healing and progress.

If you’re the one initiating the split, you may be driven by the hope of a happier life after the divorce. You may be making plans in your daydream hours, if only to give yourself energy through a difficult and draining process.

Whether or not you want the divorce, you may also be plagued by the fear that your life … Read More... “How To Be Able To Look Back And Say, “My Life Got Better After Divorce””

Blast From The Past: Who Needs Cupid?

Blast from the past 13 years Ohio Family Law Blog

PUBLISHER’S NOTE: Thinking that it is almost Valentine’s Day, I remembered this post from February 14, 2009 and decided to go back and reread it. The content is still appropriate so long as folks apply the standard pandemic precautions we are all use to such as wearing masks and social distancing. The concept of everyone showing kindness to those around us is certainly needed, especially with everything going on in today’s world.

Newly Divorced On Valentine’s? Do Something Special For Yourself Instead!

valentines day kindness

Valentine’s Day is the start of the busy season for Dayton divorce lawyers. Many couples wait until after the holidays and it gives them time to file their taxes “jointly” and receive a larger refund. It also can be a reckoning day when people decide that they deserve better.

While romance abounds with cupid’s magic for some, it also can be a difficult time for many divorced individuals who don’t have a valentine to share it with.

Here are some tips from Jennifer McCarron and Eugene Kayser,licensed family therapists from Abington, Pennsylvania:

  • Ignore the holiday

    Think about Valentine’s Day like a holiday for a religion you do not celebrate. Simply decide you are not participating in the

… Read More... “Blast From The Past: Who Needs Cupid?”

Tips for Divorce Lawyers – Having Trouble Obtaining Out of State Discovery?

uidda divorce family law discovery

UIDDA (Uniform Interstate Deposition and Discovery Act)

Ohio Civil Practice Discovery Help For Divorce Attorneys – How To Obtain Documents Outside Ohio?

uidda divorce family law discoveryAs a lawyer who focuses my practice primarily on Ohio divorce and family law cases, it is easy to sometimes forget about Ohio Civil practice discovery rules and statutes. How many of you have had difficulty obtaining documents or setting depositions with companies located outside Ohio? I suspect, most of my fellow divorce lawyers would acknowledge the frustration this has caused!

I have recently had a battle obtaining retirement statements from a plan administrator located outside Ohio. It is hard to complete needed ‘due diligence’ to value assets in a divorce  without retirement statements to determine if all contributions were marital as well as the dates and amounts of loans or withdrawals.

If you find yourself in this situation, I want to remind you to look at O.R.C. Section 2319.09 – Ohio’s Uniform Interstate Deposition and Discovery Act  . This statute was adopted in Ohio in 2016. A form of this is a model statute has now been adopted in all the States/Territories except Connecticut, Massachusetts, Missouri, Nebraska, New Hampshire, Oklahoma, Puerto Rico, Texas and Wyoming.… Read More... “Tips for Divorce Lawyers – Having Trouble Obtaining Out of State Discovery?”

Blast From The Past: What and How to Tell Your Children About Your Divorce

Blast from the past 13 years Ohio Family Law Blog

PUBLISHER’S NOTE: What is the best way to tell children about their parents divorcing? This is a frequent question I am asked. I can’t tell you how many times over the years that I have sent clients a link to this 2010 article from Connecticut Psychotherapist Donna F. Ferber. Surely sage advice for all times!

divorce children parents

One of the most difficult things you will ever have to do as a parent is tell your children that their parents are breaking up. It is important that you shift your focus from your loss to your children’s loss. Divorce is about the dissolution  of a husband-wife relationship. It marks a change  in the parent-child relationship. Staying aware of this difference will help you effectively support your children. In talking with your children, stay focused on their feelings about this experience. If you focus on the spousal relationship, your own feelings may get in the way of good parenting.

Here are some tips for explaining the divorce to your children:

  • If possible, both parents should be present. This illustrates to the children  that you will still be able to co-parent.
  • Tell them close to the time that one of the
… Read More... “Blast From The Past: What and How to Tell Your Children About Your Divorce”

5 Tips for Smart Money Management and Creating a Good Credit Score During a Divorce

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How To Maintain a Good Credit Report During Divorce

Debt and Credit Issues Can Create Complicated And Stressful Times. How To Maintain A Good Credit Report During Divorce

credit report divorce lawyer credit score

Folks going through a divorce have many things on their mind. It can be a very emotional and stressful time! At some point you will inevitably need to start looking carefully at your debt and financial situation. When you are at that point, here are 5 basic tips:

Deal with Your Debt – Don’t Ignore it!

  1. Request a Free Credit Report
     

    The first step you should do is order a credit report  from at least one of the three major credit reporting agencies (Equifax, Transunion and Experian). This will list debts attached to your name, both individually and jointly with your spouse.

     

    There are 3 major credit reporting agencies Equifax, Experian and Transunion.  You may want to order a report from one or all of them. You can also obtain one free credit report per year through annualcreditreport.com .  Your divorce lawyer will want a copy anyway. Once you receive it, take time to thoroughly study it. Make sure it appears accurate. Look for errors such as credit lines

… Read More... “5 Tips for Smart Money Management and Creating a Good Credit Score During a Divorce”

Child Visitation Exchanges – Tips to Avoid Problems!

visitation exchanges custody

Visitation Exchanges. Do this to Avoid Friction with your Ex!

visitation exchanges custodyVisitation exchanges and custody exchanges can be uncomfortable and sometimes downright combative depending upon the relationship between the parents. They can also be stressful to your child as well. The overall objective needs to be to keep things civil and reduce friction all the way around.

Here are some common-sense tips of what to do, or not do in visitation exchanges:

  1. Coordinate Drop Off/Pick Up Location: In high conflict cases, the less you have to interact with your Ex the better. One common approach is agreeing upon making the switch at school, a daycare center, babysitters or friend’s house.  Other options are at a public place such as a park or restaurant. In extreme situations, some folks will make the exchange outside the local police department. You need to figure a spot that is practical and reduces possible danger
  2. Bring a Third Party: Some folks will bring a witness to observe the drop off/pickups and to act as an observer and help reduce any friction. If you do this, please be smart in who you choose. Typically, a family member or a mutual friend works best (assuming they get along
… Read More... “Child Visitation Exchanges – Tips to Avoid Problems!”

6 Tips of How to Effectively Communicate with Your Spouse During a Divorce

communications divorce

Communications With Your Spouse During A Divorce Need Not Be Stressful Or Difficult

communications divorceDivorces can be very difficult and stressful. Emotions can often run rampant. Those may include anger, blame, hurt feelings, confusion, sadness, and depression. Trying to maintain civil communications between you and your spouse is important. No black or white approach works in every case. You know the factual background which caused the marriage to breakdown. You know if your spouse has been abusive or can be a bully or meanspirited. Hopefully, these tips will be useful in establishing appropriate communications.

In many cases the parties elect to have their lawyers shoulder the majority of the communications. Nonetheless, some level of communications will likely need to occur, especially if you have children.

  1. Be Civil and Respectful: Avoid arguments and be professional. As difficult as it may be, “bite your tongue” and don’t escalate issues. Truthfully, whether you are right or wrong on a point isn’t that important in the long run.
  2. Set Boundaries: As you transition from being married to divorced, try to establish boundaries to agree upon the way the 2 of you will primarily communicate and about what topics.
  3. Consider Email Communications: Email is a frequent
… Read More... “6 Tips of How to Effectively Communicate with Your Spouse During a Divorce”
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