Marriages: Do Couples Need More Than Love to Last?

Research Suggests More to Just Love in Successful Marriages

Marriages Can End In Divorce About 40 to 50 Percent of the Time

marriages“All You Need is Love” may be one of the greatest songs written by The Beatles, but the premise is scientifically invalid according to recent research published in the April 2013 Monitor on Psychology.

About 40 to 50 percent of marriages end in divorce, but here’s how to beat those statistics, according to the experts who have studied successful marriages.

  1. Work hard. People who stay married for a long time make a conscious effort at working at their relationships. They place their commitment to each other as a higher priority than work, hobbies and even their children. They know that the best way to be a great parent is to be in a loving and long-lasting relationship.
  2. Talk about things that matter. It’s so easy to waste time talking about routine matters of work, family or chores. Happy couples talk about their dreams, fears, hopes and fantasies. They share very private and personal feelings and thus stay emotionally engaged with their partner. With a psychological security based on trust and communication, these couples can truly be
… Read More... “Marriages: Do Couples Need More Than Love to Last?”

Deposition Tips: Not Just An Ordinary Conversation!

Helpful Advice If You Are Called To Provide Testimony At A Deposition

depositionIn any type of civil litigation, whether a personal injury case, a probate court case involving a relative’s will or trust, a business dispute with customers or other owners, or a matrimonial case, a party or an important observer may be called to provide testimony at a deposition. A deposition is being questioned under oath often by the opposing attorney, outside court, usually in a law office or a court stenographer’s office. The judge is not present although she is usually accessible by telephone. The deposition is conducted by the lawyers and the court reporter who transcribes all questions, answers, and legal objections. In many cases the lawyers’ perceptions of how this deposition testimony will impact the judge or jury determines whether the case goes to trial or serious settlement discussions occur.

In preparing to give testimony under oath at a deposition it is very important to review the issues and likely questions with your attorney in advance. This is not meant to modify or conceal the truth. Every witness is under oath to tell the truth and no ethical attorney will attempt to coach a witness … Read More... “Deposition Tips: Not Just An Ordinary Conversation!”

Sexual Assault and 20 Tips to Prevent It!

A Sexual Assault Occurs Every 2 Minutes

“Sexual Assault” can be defined as, “any sexual contact or act performed on another without permission. The elements may include use or threat of force, inability of victim to give proper consent or both.”

sexual assaultAccording to RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network), a sexual assault takes place every two (2) minutes in the United States. Each year there are over 212,300 victims of rape, attempted rape, and sexual assault in the United States. Nine (9) out of every ten (10) rape victims were female. But, 3% of American men, or 1 in 33, have experienced an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime. Approximately 2/3 of sexual assaults are committed by a person known by the victim.  In addition, 80% of sexual assault victims are under the age of 30.

Twenty (20) Ways to Reduce Your Risk of Sexual Assault:

  • Enroll in self-defense classes: Taking the time to take self-defense classes could be your most valuable investment of time and money to obtain peace of mind.
  • Carry a weapon: If the thought of a gun is offensive to you, obtain and carry with you pepper spray, mace, stun guns, or
… Read More... “Sexual Assault and 20 Tips to Prevent It!”

Parenting Tips on Gifts and Teens Who Don’t Want to Visit

parentingFor those of you who follow our blog, you already know that local child psychologist Dr. Greg Ramey is a frequent contributor.  Dr. Ramey is the vice president for outpatient services at Dayton Children’s and writes FamilyWise, a weekly parenting column in the Dayton Daily News that is distributed through the New York Times wire service. He is also a clinical assistant professor of pediatrics at Wright State University Boonshoft School of Medicine.  From time to time, Dr. Ramey publishes in his Sunday column in the Dayton Daily News letters or emails that he has received from parents and his response to those questions in a Q & A format.

Here are a few dilemmas that I thought parents might find interesting. The first is from a mother who doesn’t approve of gifts that her children receive from their father, while the second letter discusses visitation issues for a teen who is resisting going to his father’s as it is getting in the way with his social life.

Parenting Tip: In Her House, Mom Can Veto Video Games

Q.  I dread this time of the year because of the constant conflicts with my ex-spouse regarding Christmas gifts for our two … Read More... “Parenting Tips on Gifts and Teens Who Don’t Want to Visit”

Parenting with an Uncooperative Ex

Parenting with an Uncooperative Ex: A Divorce Lawyer’s Perspective

Parenting Tips for dealing with an Uncooperative Ex Spouse!

parentingThis topic is an exceedingly broad one, but I will try to share my insights from my perspective as a practicing family law attorney for the past 34 years.  The original idea to write this article was that of Connecticut psychotherapist, Donna Ferber. I thought it was a great idea of hers to tackle this subject; from both a therapist’s perspective and a lawyer’s perspective.  Here is the link to Donna’s perceptive take about parenting with an uncooperative parent in her blog article, The Uncooperative Co-Parent, posted on her blog February 18, 2012.  In addition, she gave me permission to repost her article in this blog on February 29, 2012.

When the parties have children, while it might be desirable, it’s impossible to apply a “no contact rule” and completely disassociate themselves from their uncooperative ex spouse. The parties have to come to some sort of arrangement when they have children and when there is parenting time with their ex-spouse. Ideally, in parenting, parents should develop a direct channel of communication with each other and not use their children as messengers. … Read More... “Parenting with an Uncooperative Ex”

Kids: Biggest Threat to Your Marriage

Dayton, Ohio, Psychologist Explains 3 Key Things to Keep Couples Happy

dayton ohio marriage kids biggest threatThe birth of your first child is not only an event to be cherished but a stage of life to be feared. Children represent a severe threat to your relationship with your spouse.

Kids have a negative impact on most marriages. Research has clearly documented that marital tension and arguments increase significantly after the birth of your first child. Marital satisfaction declines as parents grapple with the dilemma of trying to raise a child while working, being a good spouse, and maintaining some sense of individual identity.

These negative effects are not inevitable, according to research published by Alyson Shapiro and John Gottman in the 2005 Journal of Family Communications. By studying the one-third of marriages that do well in spite of children, these researchers were able to identify the three key things done by happy couples.

The 3 Key Things to Keep Couples Happy:

  1. Stay friends.  Marriages survive and flourish when partners stay best friends with each other. This isn’t easy once you take on the intense and never-ending responsibilities of parenthood. There are many times when children must be our first priority, resulting in placing the needs
… Read More... “Kids: Biggest Threat to Your Marriage”

Divorce: Top Ten “Things To Do” After

Top Ten List of “Things To Do” Following a Divorce Proceeding!

Divorce Things To dp afterSimilar to David Letterman’s Top Ten Lists, many family blog sites have postings regarding the top ten “Things to Do” following a divorce proceeding. This is my list of priority items to accomplish after the filing of the Final Judgment and Decree of Divorce.

TOP 10 THINGS TO DO “AFTER” A DIVORCE 

Number 1: Read, study, examine, and explore the terms of your Final Decree. Make a list of those things Husband is to do and a list of those items Wife is to do. No one is available to “police” the terms of your Final Decree. If you do not receive a lump sum payment or if you do not receive the title to the car you are driving, or if you do not receive your share of the other spouse’s retirement benefits, no one knows that until or unless you bring it to the attention of your counsel and the Court. Your counsel can then write letters to the opposing counsel to determine if compliance shall be forthcoming or if a Motion to Show Cause is appropriate.

Number 2: Take steps to establish a workable budget. … Read More... “Divorce: Top Ten “Things To Do” After”

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