Through the divorce process, children deal with many changes. One of the most significant adjustments children have to make is living in two homes. Even if a child visits one parent for a few hours a week, the child should feel at home there. This helps foster connection with the non-custodial parent and helps the child to recognize that the non-custodial parent didn’t “divorce” him/her. Issues of abandonment and rejection are paramount for children of all ages, although the young ones can’t express it and the older ones either won’t or they “act out.” Creating a sense of belonging in both homes assists the child in making a healthy transition. Many children actually enjoy having two homes because they get special attention; often have two birthday parties and two sets of Christmas or Chanukah gifts.
Here are some tips to help children adjust:
- The child should have her own room. If this isn’t possible, she should have her own space in a room – her own dresser drawer, a toy bin, some shelves.
- He should be allowed to keep his things in that space and arrange them
What is an in camera interview? The phrase “in camera” is a Latin term defined in Black’s Law Dictionary as: “In chambers; in private.” The interview does not involve a camera or a videotape at all! If a party is asking for the Court to have an in camera interview of a minor child, the request is for the Judge or Magistrate to interview the minor child privately with neither parent or his/her attorney being present. An Appellate Court in Michigan said it very well years ago . . .
To the surprise of everyone in the estate planning community, Congress failed to address a critical estate and generation-skipping tax matter before the end of 2009, resulting in the repeal of the federal estate tax. However, this repeal is for 2010 only. In 2011, the exclusion for federal estate tax reverts back to $1,000,000. How is this possible, and what effect does it have on couples’ estate plans, particularly second marriages?
Lately, it seems that I have had more and more of my male clients coming in to see me to discuss issues relating to paternity. There are so many myths out there about what needs to happen to establish paternity and the possible outcomes of failing to do so, that it never ceases to amaze me! Perhaps the most serious outcome that many people are unaware of is that a “putative” father can have his child adopted out to someone else without his consent if the appropriate action has not been taken.
In a recent analysis of census data, the Pew Research Center found that the institution of marriage has undergone significant changes in recent decades as women have outpaced men in education and earnings growth. The study examined American’s 30 to 44 years old, a stage of life when typical adults have completed their education, have gone to work and gotten married. “Men now are increasingly likely to marry wives with more education and income than they have, and the reverse is true for women,” said Paul Fucito, spokesman for the Pew Center. “In recent decades, with the rise of well-paid working wives, the economic gains of marriage have been a greater benefit for men.” Clearly, these unequal gains have been accompanied by gender role reversals in both the spousal characteristics and the economic benefits of marriage.
One of the most difficult things you will ever have to do as a parent is tell your children that their parents are breaking up. It is important that you shift your focus from your loss to your children’s loss. Divorce is about the dissolution of a husband-wife relationship. It marks a change in the parent-child relationship. Staying aware of this difference will help you effectively support your children. In talking with your children, stay focused on their feelings about this experience. If you focus on the spousal relationship, your own feelings may get in the way of good parenting.
Jason C. Brown, the publisher of the