Divorce Cases Can Cause Emotional Explosions

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emot.jpgDivorce cases can be emotionally devastating to the parties. As a family law attorney, I not only have to evaluate the facts and give sound advice to my client, but I need to use my best set of skills to assess the client’s emotional stability, support network, and anxiety level. Sometimes this is relatively easy and in other cases it is extremely tough.

I am writing about this topic after reflecting about the Dayton Daily News article on August 28, 2008, about the local Trotwood police detective who survived two gunshot wounds inflicted by his wife because she was upset that he was divorcing her. It is so sad that apparently her anger led her to take such an irrational and violent act. I have learned that reaction to a divorce can run the entire gamut, ranging from happiness, paralysis, anger, depression, revenge; and yes, even to murder or suicide. I often spend as much time in a client conference considering the emotional aspects of the client as the legal aspects. While lawyers may be well trained in the law, we are not psychologists or experts in … Read More... “Divorce Cases Can Cause Emotional Explosions”

An Experienced Family Law Attorney – PRICELESS!

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priceless.jpgGordon Gibb recently wrote an excellent article for lawyersandsettlements.com about the importance of hiring an experienced divorce lawyer. He lasers in on the topic with his opening sentences. “If there ever was a more important role for lawyers and litigation professionals, it is in family law. Corporate law, environmental law, even real estate law has nuthin’ on the complexities and the drama that explodes from divorce petitions, custody battles-even who gets to keep the family dog”. He concludes with “Experts suggest that if your relationship looks as though it is coming apart and you’re considering divorce, the best couple of hundred bucks you’ll ever spend is by sitting down with a reputable family law firm for a consultation. In an hour, the family attorneys can give you a pretty good idea of what you might be in for, what the dynamic, the payout and the cost, the likely custody arrangement, and in a nutshell what kind of life you’re going to have at the end of it all. It may not be pretty, and after hearing the hard facts you might think twice about dissolving your Read More... “An Experienced Family Law Attorney – PRICELESS!”

Lingo You Might Not Know From the Divorce World

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terms.jpgIf you find yourself involved in a divorce, custody case or other family law litigation you may run across some unfamiliar terms. Here are some common ones with a short definition:

AFFIDAVIT – Information provided under oath.  Often times pertaining to current finances, debts and assets.

BAILIFF – The judge’s assistant who helps with the court docket and often oversees the decorum in the courtroom.

CONTEMPT – An action requesting the court to punish a person for violating a prior Court order.

CONTINUANCE – A delay or postponement of a scheduled court appearance.

CPO – A “civil protection order”. An order which can be issued by the court in a domestic violence proceeding requiring a person to vacate a home and cease all contact/communication.

DEPOSITION – A form of discovery where opposing counsel gets to ask questions orally to a party or witness under oath in the presence of a court reporter before trial.

DISCOVERY – The early phase of a case where each side requests information relevant to the issues at hand. This phase may include depositions, interrogatories, production of document requests, and requests for admissions.… Read More... “Lingo You Might Not Know From the Divorce World”

What About “Manimony”?

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mani.jpgPerhaps it is time to forget the “I am a man and can take care of myself” attitude. Did you know that under Ohio law, the factors for alimony or spousal support are gender blind? Up until the 1980’s there were few men who received spousal support from their wives, but times and attitudes are slowly changing. As more men are granted custody of their children or become stay at home dads, the need for women to pay both child and spousal support has increased. But interestingly, statistics show that “thirty-three percent of higher-earning spouses are women, but fewer than four percent of alimony payers are women”, according to a CNN article on Manimony (a slang term for alimony paid to men). In today’s society many men still refuse to request spousal support even if their spouse earns much more money than they do. So it seems that the inequality in spousal support awards may have more to do with male machismo than any legal bias.

In her blog, Attorney Marie Fahnert, the author of the Chicago Divorce Lawyer had a very insightful perspective on the topic. … Read More... “What About “Manimony”?”

Helpful Books For Children Going Through Divorce And Loss

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books_ramey.jpgHow do you talk with kids about divorce, depression or death? Many parents have no idea how to even begin such a conversation about serious topics with their children.

Honest and insightful communication is as difficult for kids as it is for most of us. Parents’ questions are often viewed as interrogation, met by silence, “I dunno” or a single word response. Speaking with younger children presents even more challenges. Younger kids have intense feelings and complex thoughts, but just don’t have the vocabulary to translate ideas into words. How can we gain entry into our children’s inner lives and encourage the expression of what they really think and feel?

Children’s books provide a tremendous opportunity to promote such communication.

These are not the same books that many of us read as youngsters. Contemporary children’s literature better reflects the reality and range of issues confronted by many kids. There are books that deal with intense topics of abuse, divorce and death. However, more routine issues such as friendship, forgiveness, fears, nail biting, bedwetting, ADHD, anger and depression are also common themes in many books.

I’ve used stories … Read More... “Helpful Books For Children Going Through Divorce And Loss”

Putting Aside the Boxing Glove, An Emerging Trend in Divorce Litigation

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box.jpgWhat I have sensed for a few years has now been corroborated by Gregg Herman, who chairs the American Bar Association Family Law Section. He says, “Divorce has become far less litigious in that more cases are settled than litigated.” The members of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers have noticed the same phenomenon. In a poll last year, 58 percent of its members indicated that more of their divorce cases over the past five years were settled without trial. Only 12 percent said they were resolving fewer cases without trial. James Hennenhoefer, the president of the Academy, believes that there is a clear preference especially among middle-income clients to resolve cases with less contention, in part to cut down on costs.

Now I am not suggesting that nasty divorce cases don’t exist. They do. In my practice, custody/parenting issues still top the list of hotly disputed areas, followed by spousal support and division of retirement accounts. The general acceptance of shared parenting arrangements has helped lessen custody litigation. Nonetheless, the level of acrimony of the parties can drastically affect both the tone and contentiousness of the … Read More... “Putting Aside the Boxing Glove, An Emerging Trend in Divorce Litigation”

Cultural Tolerance For Divorce Continues to Rise

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gall.jpgSeventy percent of Americans now believe that divorce is “morally acceptable,” according to a recent poll conducted by Gallup’s 2008 Values and Beliefs survey. This figure represents an 11 percent increase from just 7 years ago and a 5 percent increase from 1 year ago. Only 22 percent of Americans said they believed divorce was “morally wrong.” Interestingly, divorce was the only ethical issue of the 16 issues measured in the survey where opinions significantly changed over the past year. The survey was conducted by a telephone sampling of 1,017 adults in the US, aged 18 or older, from May 8-11, 2008.


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