Should I Hire a Psychologist During a Divorce?

Should I Hire a Psychologist During a Divorce?
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How To Pick The Right Psychologist During Divorce If Therapy Is The Right Choice For You

Psychologist divorce therapyWhen you decide it’s time to see a psychologist, the array of options out there may be a little daunting at first. To narrow this list of psychologists down, the American Psychological Association has put together a guide to make sure you choose the right psychologist for you.

First, you should evaluate whether therapy is right for you. Reasons to go to therapy include prolonged periods of feeling helpless, inability to do daily activities, excessive worrying, or harmful actions that hurt not just yourself, but others around you. Any of these reasons may be a good reason to go to therapy, but this list is far from exhaustive. Other reasons can facilitate the need for therapy, such as a major life change, lack of change, or trauma. Major life changes can include divorce or separation from your partner, so it’s good to have a psychologist to help you understand and process the myriad of emotions you’re sure to be feeling.

Next, you should take steps to find a psychologist. … Read More... “Should I Hire a Psychologist During a Divorce?”

Generationally the Divorce Rates in the U.S. Differ Greatly!

Generationally the Divorce Rates in the U.S. Differ Greatly!
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The U.S. Divorce Rate Is Falling According To Recent Analysis, But Why?

divorce rateThe millennial generation is once again showing that they are not like their elders.  They are staying married! According to an analysis conducted by Professor Philip Cohen, a sociology professor at the University of Maryland, from 2008 to 2016, the divorce rate has dropped 18 percent.

Generation X and millennials are not following the same path as their elders. The older generations tended to marry younger, then get divorced, and then often remarry. The younger generations are being more selective about choosing a mate, and are getting married at an older age. They have decided that getting their education completed, establishing a career and obtaining financial stability is a priority before taking those vows. Demographers have been addressing why the divorce rate is falling and what this news means for current newlyweds.

One possibility is that older couples who decide to commit to a marriage are not as likely to get a divorce. However the marriage rate has also decreased in the last few decades. Cohen is calculating divorce rate as “ratio of divorces … Read More... “Generationally the Divorce Rates in the U.S. Differ Greatly!”

Blast From The Past: Don’t Create Halloween Horrors for your Child!

Blast From The Past: Don’t Create Halloween Horrors for your Child!
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PUBLISHERS NOTE: “Halloween can be very tricky for divorced parents. Here is some great advice from Psychotherapist Donna Ferber from way back in 2010. If you enjoy this article, you would love her book, “From Ex-Wife to Exceptional Life: A Woman’s Journey Through Divorce” available on Amazon and Kindle. Also, check out her website, www.DonnaFerber.com.”

Make Your Child’s Halloween A Positive Experience Post Divorce

halloween divorceFor many kids, Halloween is one of the most important holidays of the year. The child of divorce is faced with choices and concerns. Who will take me treat-or-treating? Who will get my costume and dress me? Where will I trick-or-treat?

Then, of course, there logistical problems for the divorced parents. By addressing these issues in advance, parents can reduce stress and not distract from the child’s positive experience. These include:

  • In two-parent homes, often one parent gives out candy while the other parent takes the child trick-or-treating. Now there is only one parent in the home. Do you stay and give out candy or do you go with your child?
  • Parents often do not specify in their divorce decree who “gets”
… Read More... “Blast From The Past: Don’t Create Halloween Horrors for your Child!”

Have You Heard about Obtaining a Sleep Divorce?

Have You Heard about Obtaining a Sleep Divorce?
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35.6% of Ohio Couples Want To File For A Sleep Divorce According To New Study

sleep divorceIf you’ve been having some restless nights because your spouse is hogging all the blankets, sprawls out, and/or has some space issues, consider a sleep divorce! A sleep divorce is not a legal action to separate you and your spouse from sleeping together, but is just the action of arranging two separate living spaces for each partner.

According to a 2010 study from the National Sleep Foundation (NSF), almost 25% of married couples have filed for a “sleep divorce;” however, a new study from Mattress Clarity has shown that 30.9% of Americans want a sleep divorce, but are too nervous to talk to their spouse about it. The study found that in Ohio specifically, that number jumped to 35.6% of couples want to file for a sleep divorce. In comparison of surrounding states, West Virginia has the highest rate of couples that want to file for a sleep divorce (82.2%), followed by Pennsylvania (41%), Indiana (29.6%), Kentucky (23%), and Michigan (20.5%).

If you think that fighting is what drives … Read More... “Have You Heard about Obtaining a Sleep Divorce?”

6 Things Parents Don’t Want to Hear About Their Children

6 Things Parents Don’t Want to Hear About Their Children
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children parents hearI enjoy speaking with parents at workshops, most of which focus on issues such as using praise, time out, or selective attention. However, I’ve acquired a somewhat problematic habit over the years-saying things that turn off most of the audience.

It’s easy to talk about discipline techniques, but it’s tricky to openly discuss some uncomfortable realities about being a mom or dad. Here is my list of the top six things that are rarely well received.

  1. Don’t make children your highest priority. It’s a serious mistake to make your children the center of your universe. You need to take better care of yourself and spend lots of time with your spouse. Is it essential to attend all of your kids’ sporting events or play performances? Mentally healthy kids learn about compromise and caring by seeing that their parents don’t put children on a pedestal and cater to their every whim.
  2. You can’t control how your kids turn out. Most parents work hard and sacrifice many of their dreams to care for another life. You’d like to think that there is a relationship between what you do, and
… Read More... “6 Things Parents Don’t Want to Hear About Their Children”

California Courts now have Authority to Rule on Pet Custody Disputes in Divorce

California Courts now have Authority to Rule on Pet Custody Disputes in Divorce
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Ownership Of Pets Can Be Decided In California Courts, Will Ohio Be Next In Pet Custody Disputes?

divorce pet custodyIn California and Ohio, as in most states, pets are considered personal property by law.  But thanks to a new law in California, divorce disputes over “custody” of dogs and cats will be decided in a similar manner as are child custody disputes. Regardless of the emotional attachment between a pet and its owner, Courts typically don’t give more status to a pet than say to a computer or television.

Under A.B. 2274, signed  last week by Governor Jerry Brown, pets will still be considered community property but now a judge deciding ”custody” will have the discretion of weighing such factors as who feeds and walks them, has been the primary caregiver and who takes them to the veterinarian. In addition, the Court may order essentially temporary custody of the pet pending final hearing. The law goes into effect on January 1, 2019. To read the text of the law, click here.

As an Ohio divorce lawyer for near 40 years, I personally think the new … Read More... “California Courts now have Authority to Rule on Pet Custody Disputes in Divorce”

Blast From The Past: In Camera Interview of Children in Divorce Court

Blast From The Past: In Camera Interview of Children in Divorce Court
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PUBLISHER’S NOTE: “Here is a good article on in camera interview by Attorney Anne Shale from 2008. Nothing has really changed in 10 years about this interview process for the Court to obtain insights about the child’s wishes in a contested custody or parenting time case. All this is geared towards figuring the “best interest” of the child.”

Should You Let Your Child Participate In An In Camera Interview?

Camera Interview Children

What is an in camera interview?

The phrase “in camera” is a Latin term defined in Black’s Law Dictionary as: “In chambers; in private.”  The interview does not involve a camera or a videotape at all!  If a party is asking for the Court to have an in camera interview of a minor child, the request is for the Judge or Magistrate to interview the minor child privately with neither parent or his/her attorney being present.  An Appellate Court in Michigan said it very well years ago . . .

“A child custody determination is much more difficult and subtle than an arithmetical computation of factors.  It is one of the most demanding undertakings of a trial

… Read More... “Blast From The Past: In Camera Interview of Children in Divorce Court”
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