Divorce Representation Without A Lawyer On The Rise

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Representing Yourself in a Divorce? No Way! Why Retaining Legal Counsel Is Worth It!

divorce representationCourtrooms all across the country are seeing an increase in the number of unrepresented parties on their dockets.  Whether it’s due to the failing economy, the rise in popularity of television shows such as “Judge Judy” which encourage the legal “do it yourself” attitude, or perhaps the belief that the courts will take it easy on those who represent themselves…the amount of people trying to navigate their way through the legal system without a lawyer is on the rise.

While it is easy, (and perhaps self-serving) for a family law attorney to claim that it is in a person’s best interest to hire a lawyer for their divorce or child custody matter, the courts’ decisions in cases where a party appears on their own behalf speak for themselves. Family law is filled with rules and procedures, nuances and intricacies…many of which differ depending on which county, district, state, etc. you are filing in.  So, before you decide to go it alone, consider the following Ohio cases in which people chose to do so:… Read More... “Divorce Representation Without A Lawyer On The Rise”

Here’s What Functioning Marriages Have in Common

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marriages functioningI’m often asked if it’s difficult being a psychologist and listening to kids’ problems all day. I enjoy that part of the job, because it’s fun helping young people make positive changes.

It’s a lot tougher listening to parents discuss their troubled marriages. These are often narratives of lives of quiet desperation and unfulfilled dreams.

Here’s what great marriages have in common.

  1. Communicate. Partners in great relationships freely talk about their hopes, feelings, fears and dreams. They are responsive to their spouse’s styles and adjust accordingly. When problems occur, they avoid either extreme of acting with emotional escalation or withdrawal. Great communication is based upon each partner creating a sense of safety that allows the other person to freely say what they think and feel. One of my favorite quotes is from the English novelist George Eliot. “Oh, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person; having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but to pour them all out… knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then, with the breath of kindness, blow the rest
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Military Custody Law Update For Deployed Members

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Congress Passes Law Affording Military Custody Protection to Our Deployed Servicemembers

Deployment Can No Longer Be Held Against Military Parent In Child Custody Disputes

military custody law
Left to Right: Lt. Eva Slusher, her daughter Sara Slusher and Mike Turner

For 8 years, Michael R. Turner, R.-Ohio, has been calling for Congress to afford its military members child custody protection while deployed; it appears they finally listened.

In February 2010 and February 2011, Anne Shale posted articles entitled, “They Fight for America and Upon Return Must Fight for Their Children” and “BREAKING NEWS: Secretary of Defense Gates Changes Position to Protect Custodial Parents Deployed Overseas!” articles addressed Turner’s arduous fight to persuade lawmakers to amend the National Defense Authorization Act (“NDAA”) to provide military members child custody protections while deployed overseas.  Tuner was inspired in 2007 when he met Lt. Eva Slusher, a member of the Kentucky National Guard, who lost custody of her daughter after returning home from a deployment in 2004 because according to the judge, “the military lifestyle is not stable and is not conducive to raising children.”  While Slusher did eventually regain custody of her daughter, … Read More... “Military Custody Law Update For Deployed Members”

Revenge Porn Laws Enacted In Many States Except Ohio

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Groups Push To Outlaw Revenge Porn

Facebook Hit With Civil Lawsuit Over Revenge Porn

revenge porn ohioIn today’s ever connected world, what was once private often becomes public. Most individuals almost certainly have a smart phone camera or tablet device with a camera at their fingertips at any time.  This increase in accessibility coupled with the desire to photograph anything and everything has turned often daily tasks into internet posts.  This is all well and fun when it comes to photographing your dinner, your adventures and travels, and most often, your pets. Things can turn ugly though when this type of technology is brought into private relationships and intimate encounters.

Can You Post Nude Photos of Your Spouse Online Without Consent?

As a divorce lawyer, I am seeing more cases where a bitter spouse either threatens or disseminates nude photos of his/her spouse online.  Assuming there are current restraining orders in place preventing “harassment”, a contempt motion can be filed. That may be an inadequate remedy after the fact. So, individuals are looking  at both the state criminal and civil statutes.

State legislatures are rushing to enact laws that … Read More... “Revenge Porn Laws Enacted In Many States Except Ohio”

Divorce Filings Spike in January by One-Third

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January Is Often Called Divorce Month

Recent UK Study Claims One In Five Will Divorce After Holidays

divorce spikeThe first of the year is the time that many unhappy couples who are reluctant to break up the family during the holidays officially start their divorces. January is often called the “divorce month.” This trend occurs not only in the United States but in the UK and abroad as well. According to a recent study in England one in five couples had plans to divorce after the holidays.

James McLaren, President of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, recently said, “we see a significant increase in people seeking out divorce advice and ultimately, filing. The number of filings is one-third more than normal. That begins in January and probably goes into early March”.  This trend is nothing new. Recent research even suggests the pattern dates back to medieval times. Frederki Pedersen, a senior lecturer in history at the University of Aberdeen, recently wrote in Science 2.0 that in the 14th century a third of the litigation heard by the church court in York was initiated in January.

Not … Read More... “Divorce Filings Spike in January by One-Third”

Why Kids Shouldn’t be Your Highest Priority

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kids highest priorityIf I’m speaking with a group of parents and I want to elicit a lively debate, I only need to say the following:

“Kids shouldn’t be your highest priority”.

As a youngster, I remember my dad telling me that “your mom always comes first,” but I really didn’t understand what he meant.  It wasn’t until I spent many years working with kids and families that I realized that focusing your life around the needs and wants of your children was a serious mistake.

I’ve gotten some passionate feedback on this position from many parents. My favorite comment was from a mom of an infant.  “I’ll tell that to my six-month-old the next time she wakes up in the middle of the night screaming for food.”  One reader’s comments were more personal. “You must not have kids. Having children means sacrificing what you want for what they need.”

As a parent of three children, I understand that there are many times when taking care of our kids must come before anything else. Parenting involves lots of compromise and sacrifice.

However, always putting your children first is bad for … Read More... “Why Kids Shouldn’t be Your Highest Priority”

Divorce: Options to Dispose of the Marital Residence

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What Are The Options To Consider When Disposing Of The Marital Residence In A Divorce Proceeding?

divorce marital residenceIn the usual divorce or dissolution proceeding, the disposition of the marital residence is often one of the most important decisions in the case and one of the most emotional issues with the exception of “custody” of the minor child or children. One or both parties may have very strong emotional ties to the home and may overlook important financial considerations in their quest to “keep” the family home.

I now provide to you my list of available options in disposing of the marital residence during divorce:

  1. Sell the residential property for the “best obtainable price” and divide the net sale proceeds.
  2. Sell the residential property for the “best obtainable price” and use the net sale proceeds to pay off marital debt or to pay down marital debt.
  3. Determine the equity in the marital residence, if any, with one party “buying the other party out” of his or her interest in the marital residence.
  4. Determine if the home is “upside down” meaning that the mortgage indebtedness is greater than the
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