Minimalization: Accepting the Unacceptable
Minimalization: A Case Study of Jane
Jane was married for twenty five years. Her husband filed for divorce, and Jane struggled to understand what happened. “Disappointed,” was Jane’s response when I queried as to how she felt. Over and over she spoke of her disappointment.
Jane was diagnosed with depression during the marriage. She shut down emotionally. She was not accessible to her husband or children. I asked her if she was happy in the marriage. “Not really, but life is hard.” Her husband, a dominant, verbose guy, didn’t like to hear Jane’s complaints, so after a while she learned to keep them to herself. She tried to minimize them, (“This is not that important”) or rationalize them (“He really didn’t mean that”). Years of minimizing her own pain and trying to hold it in turned into depression for Jane. She wasn’t just disappointed. She was really, really angry.
Minimalization – Why do we Minimizie?
Why do we minimize our feelings? Many of us lack the tools to express what we feel in a positive, productive manner. For example, Jane grew … Read More... “Minimalization: How We Accept the Unacceptable”
Mary Murphy is a licensed clinical social worker and a doctoral candidate in counseling psychology from Oregon. I learned about Mary’s research project and survey from reading an article about it posted by Connecticut psychotherapist Donna Ferber. I have enjoyed collaborating in the past with Donna on a number of diverse topics. In Donna’s words, “Ms. Murphy’s work is of great value as she is looking to gather data from an often overlooked population. The effects of divorce on adult children are often minimized and her research helps shed a light on this issue.”
In any type of civil litigation, whether a personal injury case, a probate court case involving a relative’s will or trust, a business dispute with customers or other owners, or a matrimonial case, a party or an important observer may be called to provide testimony at a 
Since the beginning of the recent housing crisis, I have had the experience of working with clients who have fallen behind with mortgage payments which resulted in the mortgage lender filing a foreclosure action with the Court. This course of events often leads to the filing of a personal bankruptcy action to discharge the mortgage indebtedness. In order to get the information to write this article, I chose to interview my son, who will be known as CS, and a divorce client, who will be known as RP. CS and RP have some commonalities: (1) both had experienced a divorce proceeding; (2) both had experienced a decline in the value of their homes causing them to be “upside down”; and, (3) both of them had support obligations (child support or spousal support) resulting in each having less disposable income with which to pay their monthly mortgage payments. Having a house be “upside down” simply means that the amount of the mortgage balance is far greater than the actual fair market value of the home. Both … 
Since divorce attorneys, like the rest of the population, do not have a crystal ball, making decisions regarding whether spousal support should be modifiable in the future are difficult. This is a very crucial area where individuals trying to navigate through a termination of their marriage without an attorney can run into huge problems.
It is now almost 5 years since Ohio’s long-term care partnership program was implemented in order to allow Medicaid participants to protect more of their assets from the Medicaid spend down process. With the rising cost of long-term care and the effect that the recession has had on most individual’s savings, this program is more valuable than ever. A long-term health care insurance policy that meets certain criteria can provide tremendous savings and asset protection against future health care needs by allowing an individual to shelter an amount of assets equal to the amount of coverage under the policy.
The lazy, hazy days of summer are coming to an end, as a new school year is quickly approaching. My wife, a school teacher of 30 plus years, suggested that we post an article about this topic of starting the school year well. So with her help, here it is.