The Uncooperative Co-Parent From a Therapist’s Perspective

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Co-parent issues in Divorce, Custody and Child Custody.

Important tips for when a co-parent becomes uncooperative

This is the first of two back-to-back articles on this subject.  The second one from the viewpoint of Dayton, Ohio, divorce lawyer Robert “Chip” Mues, will be posted here on Saturday March 3, 2012.

dayton ohio Co-Parent UncooperativeWhen you are going through a divorce, keeping your children’s well-being in the forefront of your mind is critical. Whether the children ultimately have an experience that is traumatic or manageable is a direct result of how well their parents’ behave. Some parents even stay together “for the sake of their children” but their behavior is so appalling that the kids beg their parents to split up. Whether you stay together or not, your children learn from and emulate your behavior. You are role models for healthy relationships.

Your commitment to protect your children from divorce acrimony is tested when you find yourself in the throes of splitting property and assets. You are exhausted, stressed, worried, and patience is at a premium. The ends of your conviction begin to fray as hostility escalates.  If you are embroiled … Read More... “The Uncooperative Co-Parent From a Therapist’s Perspective”

Pet Custody Disputes in Ohio

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Pet Custody: Who is Entitled to Keep the Family Pet?

Pet custodyHave you ever wondered what might have happened to Cheeta if Tarzan and Jane had decided to split up? If Fred and Wilma had gone through a nasty divorce, which one would have gotten Dino? Remember Lassie? If Timmy’s parents, Ruth and Paul Martin, had divorced would Lassie’s barking, in an attempt to explain which party she wanted to live with, have even mattered to a judge?

When people divorce, or even when roommates part ways, disputes over what happens to household pets and pet custody can get contentious. Feelings over what is to happen to the family dog, cat, or bird after a split tend to be much more passionate than they are regarding what is to happen to a lawn mower, cappuccino machine, or even to that cool washer/dryer set. That reality is why we at Holzfaster, Cecil, McKnight & Mues are seeing more and more cases involving pets and the right to keep custody of, or visit with, family pets once a split occurs.

Often, pet owners who are facing divorce or a split … Read More... “Pet Custody Disputes in Ohio”

Social Security ALERT: No More Annual Earnings Statements

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Social Security Annual Earning Statements Eliminated

social security alert annual earnings statementsIf you look forward to receiving your social security yearly earnings statements in the mail and you had a birthday last summer, you may have wondered why you did not receive your statement.  Effective April 1st of 2011, in a cost cutting move, the Social Security Administration ceased mailing the yearly statements.  The elimination of the
statements, mailed to 150 million people a year, will save $70 million a year.  However, this savings also comes with a cost.

What are the costs with eliminating annual social security earning statements?

These annual earnings statements are an invaluable tool that helps millions of Americans plan for their retirement. These four-page statements, which had been sent to all Americans over age 25,  provide a detailed record of each individual’s earnings record, an estimate of their expected retirement benefit, the approximate amount they will receive each month if the worker becomes disabled, and how much a worker’s family will receive if the worker dies in the coming year. They also allow workers to check for any errors in their recorded earnings and taxes paid.  Finally, … Read More... “Social Security ALERT: No More Annual Earnings Statements”

Divorce: Top Ten “Things To Do” After

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Top Ten List of “Things To Do” Following a Divorce Proceeding!

Divorce Things To dp afterSimilar to David Letterman’s Top Ten Lists, many family blog sites have postings regarding the top ten “Things to Do” following a divorce proceeding. This is my list of priority items to accomplish after the filing of the Final Judgment and Decree of Divorce.

TOP 10 THINGS TO DO “AFTER” A DIVORCE 

Number 1: Read, study, examine, and explore the terms of your Final Decree. Make a list of those things Husband is to do and a list of those items Wife is to do. No one is available to “police” the terms of your Final Decree. If you do not receive a lump sum payment or if you do not receive the title to the car you are driving, or if you do not receive your share of the other spouse’s retirement benefits, no one knows that until or unless you bring it to the attention of your counsel and the Court. Your counsel can then write letters to the opposing counsel to determine if compliance shall be forthcoming or if a Motion to … Read More... “Divorce: Top Ten “Things To Do” After”

The War of the Wives: Is it Time to Disarm?

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divorce ex-wife step-wife disarmNo relationship is more maligned in our culture than that of first wives and second wives. While we make fun of mother-in-laws, many admit to having wonderful fulfilling relationships with their M-I-L. Not so with the “Ex” and the “Next”. Judged as guilty before even tried, these women are pitted against each other by circumstance. Stereotypes abound; the first wife was a “crazy nagging bitch” and the second one “a cheap slut”!

Unfortunately, these stereotypes often eclipse the potential for a positive relationship; these women are preprogrammed not to like each other by societal misconceptions. In truth, had these women met under different circumstances they might have been friends. Yes, I know there are situations when “friendship” is impossible: for example, when the second wife was once your “best friend” and slept with your then-husband or the first wife is out of control with rage and is stalking you. We have all heard many horror stories. Movies and sitcoms and, sadly, daily news reports are filled of the misdeeds of both women.  But must we assume that a healthy caring relationship between these two is not possible? … Read More... “The War of the Wives: Is it Time to Disarm?”

Parenting Time Suspension for Bad Behavior

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Parenting Time Suspension can occur when a parent’s bad behavior gets in the way of the child’s best interest.

Parenting Time in dayton ohio

“Children must be considered in a divorce, considered valuable pawns in the nasty legal and financial contest that is about to ensue.” – P.J. O’Rourke

The truthfulness of O’Rourke’s statement cannot be more evident. Children going through a divorce are often caught in the middle of two parents at war. They can be fighting about money, parenting time, adultery committed, or even about why the toilet seat was once again left up. Although this fighting in and of itself can be a traumatic time for a child caught in the middle, the worst of the fighting results when a parent uses his or her children to hurt the other parent.

In a case in Montgomery County, Ohio, recently affirmed by the Second District Court of Appeals, the Court decided that it was time to show parents that bad behavior can result in a suspension of parenting time.

Thomas Gisslen had his parenting time suspended when the Courts determined his behavior resulted in a traumatic experience for his children. … Read More... “Parenting Time Suspension for Bad Behavior”

Support Payments and The Support Enforcement Agency

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In Ohio, Do Support Payments Have To Be Made Through The Support Enforcement Agency?

support payments in ohioDo child support/spousal support payments have to be made through the Child Support Enforcement Agency (CSEA) or through the Ohio Child Support Payment Central (OCSPC)? This question is generally answered with a resounding “Yes”! There are many reasons for the involvement of the CSEA and the OCSPC.

What do the CSEA and OCSPC stand for? What role do they play in Support Payments?

Each county in the State of Ohio has its own Child Support Enforcement Agency (CSEA) charged with keeping accounts and payment histories for each child support/spousal support order involving children or ex-spouses residing in that particular county. The Ohio Child Support Payment Central is an agency located in Columbus, Ohio. It was created by the Ohio Department of Job and Family Services in response to Federal legislation mandating the implementation and operation by each state of a disbursement unit for collecting and disbursing child support and spousal support payments.

Why are these two agencies needed to provide oversight and collection of support payments?

Both agencies are vital and necessary … Read More... “Support Payments and The Support Enforcement Agency”

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