How to Avoid Manipulation by Family and Friends during the holiday season
And so it begins…The constant jockeying, bargaining, organizing, planning, and fretting that shows up every holiday season as we are bombarded with images of “creating the perfect holiday”. We struggle to meet the needs wishes and expectations (and yes, sometimes, even the demands) of everyone in our lives. Realistically, we know we can’t please everyone (so you got to please yourself…), yet we still go at that long list of “should’s” with the tenacity of a dog with a juicy bone.
Louise Hay, author of You Can Heal Your Life writes that she wishes “should” just be abolished from our language completely! Why such a vehement reaction to this one little word? Because “should,” actually takes away our personal power. “Should” doesn’t address what we want to do, what we could do, or what we need to do. When we make a decision based on “should” we are making a decision based on guilt. We struggle between what we are programmed to believe and what our own experience tells us is healthy. An example … Read More... “Holiday Guilt: The Gift that Keeps on Giving….”
The legal concept of 
Jurisdiction is a common question in many cases. In Dayton, Ohio, the question arises in divorce or dissolution cases when married parties spend their entire married life as residents of one state; and when the marriage is in decline, one of the parties moves to another state and then seeks to have his/her divorce or dissolution in the state in which the party moved.
In Ohio, restraining orders are not available in dissolution proceedings but only in divorce, legal separation and annulment actions. Restraining orders have become somewhat “boilerplate” in as much as they are commonplace and routinely granted on an “ex parte” basis at the time the divorce action is filed. A “restraining order” is also executed by a Judge and issued by a Court restraining a party involved in a divorce proceeding from certain actions or activities during the divorce process. The general principle for restraining orders is to maintain the status quo of affairs at the time a divorce action is filed and to avoid “retaliatory” actions by a spouse.
Over the years Gregory Ramey, Ph.D., who is a local child psychologist and vice president for outpatient services at the Children’s Medical Center of Dayton, has allowed us to republish many of his “Family Wise” articles from the Dayton Daily News. He included an interesting question and answer in his column published in the Dayton Daily News on Sunday, August 28, 2011, that caught my attention. Here is the question and Dr. Ramey’s answer:
Think about this statement: “The rise of cohabitating households with children (where parents aren’t married, just living together) is the largest unrecognized threat to the quality and stability of children’s lives in today’s families.” That’s pretty strong stuff, but it’s exactly what a new research study concludes. While divorce has been the leading cause of the breakdown of the family and marriage for the last 40 years, the study shows that divorce is no longer the leading cause. The study shows that cohabitation is now the greatest threat to the welfare of children in the United States!
Parenting is a challenging job. The physical, emotional, and financial demands seem endless. It feels as if we are always sacrificing what we want for the sake of our kids. Our dreams get delayed and often denied, as we usually put our kids as the highest priority in our lives.