New Study Concludes that Divorce is Neither Good nor Bad: May Not Cause Kids’ Bad Behavior

Here’s a news flash. The “experts” disagree! Many well-respected studies over the years have concluded that kids are often negatively impacted as a result of their parent’s divorce. However according to Allen Li, of the prestigious RAND Corporation’s Population Research Center in Santa Monica, California, most kids are not seriously affected by the divorce in the long term, but a divorce raises the risk that a child will have future problems. Li presented his findings in Chicago April 26, 2008, at a meeting of the non-profit Council on Contemporary Families.

The study by Li was based upon a large sample-6,332 children. His methodology differed from that which was used by others in the past. He didn’t measure children of divorced parents with children of married parents. Instead, he measured behavior problems such as crying, cheating or arguing frequently, in children ages four to fifteen before and after their parents’ split. He describes it as a “longitudinal approach”. Li found a slight increase in bad behavior on post-divorce children but excluded the finding because it was so slight. In the abstract to his study, Li concludes “that children of divorce would have fared equally well/poor in terms of their emotional well-being … Read More... “New Study Concludes that Divorce is Neither Good nor Bad: May Not Cause Kids’ Bad Behavior”

Mother’s Day – A Very Special Day!

Naturally Mother’s Day is a special day for families and especially for mothers. In this day and age however, there are often multiple females who may play a key role in a child’s life. Stepmothers and grandmothers raising their grandchildren as their own are now quite the norm. These women need to be recognized on Mother’s Day.

Stepmothers are often portrayed in a negative light. It is important to look at all sides, as a step mom often has to walk the tight rope. She has to carefully navigate the road so that she is an integral part of her new child or children’s lives, while still respecting the child’s need to honor and love their own mother. Grandmothers raising grandchildren as their own child has been an increasing occurrence in our society. Across the United States, more than 6 million children are being raised in households headed by grandparents and other relatives. In my opinion they should be nominated as saints! In addition to a child’s natural mother, a stepmother or a primary care giving grandmother can play a pivotal role in a child’s life.

Kate Fogerty has written extensively about the challenges of blending families. In a piece … Read More... “Mother’s Day – A Very Special Day!”

Divorce’s Atomic Bomb: False Abuse Allegations

False allegations of domestic abuse are not just a phenomenon that routinely occur in the United States. Family law attorneys in Canada are similarly complaining about the unfairness and damage caused when a warring parent falsely accuses a spouse of abuse. Whether it is for revenge, to punish a spouse, or to attempt to gain an advantage in a custody proceeding, I see this occurring all too often in my practice. While domestic abuse should never be condoned, unfortunately there are seldom any recriminations for the false accuser.

According to Sarah Hampton of Toronto’s Globe and Mail, these common occurrences end up leaving many black eyes in its wake: for the accused, the justice system and especially the kids. She opines that the parent considering making a false allegation should give much more thought in advance about how it will detrimentally affect the children. The story, published on April 24, 2008, is an interesting read. Check it out.

Source: Divorce’s atomic bomb: false abuse allegations, Toronto Globe and Mail

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Improving Resiliency

Resiliency is a topic that I find myself discussing often with my divorce clients. I recently came across an interesting article on that subject which prompted this post. Resilience can de defined as the human ability to deal with, learn from, overcome and even be changed by the unfortunate but unavoidable adversities that life throws our way. Dr. Edith Grotberg, a developmental psychologist, has done extensive worldwide research on the subject of fostering resiliency. In a recent interview in the Palo Alto Daily News, Heath Matters: Resilience Can Be Improved Upon, by columnist L.J. Anderson, Dr. Grotberg stated that people are born with the capacity to be resilient, but the challenge should be to continually work to increase ones ability to be resilient so that when adversities present themselves, an individual is able to handle the situation.  She believes that the capacity for resilience can be strengthened in both adults and children.  She challenges parents and other resilient adults who work with children to help foster children’s resiliency.

Dr. Grotberg became interested in the study of resilience while teaching at the University for Women in Sudan, Africa. She was tired of having poor and less fortunate people being labeled … Read More... “Improving Resiliency”

Factors The Court Considers In Determining Whether To Award Spousal Support Pt. 2

Attorney Anne Shale adds 10 more factors to consider in Part 2 of “Factors The Court Considers In Determining Whether Or Not To Award Spousal Support”.

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The duration of the marriage. The longer the duration of the marriage, the longer the potential spousal support obligation is likely to be. For example, if the marriage of the parties exceeds thirty (30) years in duration, the Court is likely to attempt to “equalize” the earnings or incomes of the parties. And, if the parties have been married just one to two years in duration, the Court is likely not to award any amount of spousal support. While I have represented Husbands who say they have tried to keep the “marriage together” for the sake of the children, this goal often comes back to haunt them when their Wives are awarded a lengthy duration of spousal support. In Montgomery County, Ohio, there is a very “general” and “unwritten” rule that spousal support may be awarded for up to one-third (1/3) of the duration of the marriage. Given a marriage of eighteen (18) years, it would not be unusual for the Court to order a term certain of spousal support for six (6) … Read More... “Factors The Court Considers In Determining Whether To Award Spousal Support Pt. 2”

Grandparent Custody Issues From a Lawyer’s Viewpoint

Grandparents Gaining “Custody” of Their Grandchildren: Why? How? Where?

In an ideal world, children should be reared by a loving and caring two-parent family, having both a Father and a Mother, with plenty of caring relatives to assist with parenting activities during times of stress, need, or illness. Today, we are seeing more and more Grandparents taking on the responsibility of primary child-rearing of their Grandchild or Grandchildren. For the sake of brevity, this article is directed to Grandparents seeking “custody” of one Grandchild though they may, in fact, be seeking “custody” of several Grandchildren. Why are we seeing and reading about this happening or phenomenon?

    1. Some parents have problems with untreated mental illness. Our firm recently assisted Grandparents in gaining “temporary custody” of their young Grandson as the child’s Mother has Bipolar Disorder, aka Manic Depressive Disorder. When she adhered to her medication regime, she could provide safe and effective parenting for her Son. When she decided to discontinue her psychotropic medications, symptoms of her mental illness returned and she was not capable of providing for the needs of her Son.

 

  • Some parents have problems with alcoholism and other addictions. Persons who become physiologically and psychologically dependent upon
… Read More... “Grandparent Custody Issues From a Lawyer’s Viewpoint”

Grandparent Custody Issues From a Psychologist’s Viewpoint

Parenting Role Can Take Toll On Grandparents

Derek is an overwhelming challenge to his caregivers. He is active, curious and extremely talkative. Derek is a picky eater, occasionally wets the bed and is an endless bundle of energy. In short, Derek is a normal 3-year-old boy, so why was a psychologist seeing him?

The issue wasn’t really about Derek, but his family. Derek’s dad was absent, and his mom was in a drug rehab program. Derek was being raised by two loving grandparents in their early 60s. When confronted with the choice of foster home placement or caring for their grandson, the grandparents obtained custody of Derek. The grandparents were generally in good health and totally committed to their grandson. Even so, they struggled with the challenges of raising a toddler.

Derek’s situation is not uncommon. Primarily, grandparents raise about 2.5 million children. Twenty-nine percent of these grandparents are more than 60 years of age, and 19 percent of them live in poverty. For 1 million of these children, grandparents are raising these kids for five or more years.

I’ve worked with numerous grandparents who are raising children, and I’ve found them to be the most committed and dedicated people … Read More... “Grandparent Custody Issues From a Psychologist’s Viewpoint”

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