Domestic Violence is defined as a pattern of behavior utilized to establish power and control over another person. It typically involves an escalating pattern of abuse where one party in an intimate relationship controls the other through intimidation, threats of violence or actual violence. The abusers frequently manage to virtually “brainwash” the victim into believing that it was his/her fault and the abuse or beating was deserved. According to the National Violence Against Women Survey, nearly twenty-five percent (25%) of American women report being raped and/or physically assaulted by a current or former spouse, co-habitating partner, or a date at some time in their lives. Forty percent (40%) of adult Americans say they know a woman who has been physically abused in the past year by a male. In 2006, Ohio Law Enforcement Agencies responded to 71,946 domestic dispute calls (Ohio Attorney General’s Criminal Indemnification 2006 Statistics). Of those calls to the police, 34,021 were categorized as domestic violence incidents. Ohio’s statistics for the year of 2006, show that sixty-five percent (65%) of the alleged offenders were Caucasian; seventy-seven percent (77%) were men; and sixty-seven percent (67%) of the offenders were between the ages of 18 and 40. Sixty … Read More... “Domestic violence and some relevant statistics. What do they tell us?”
Relocation Issues
Twenty to thirty years ago, there was no issue related to “relocation”. There was a custodial parent, usually the Mother, and a non-custodial parent, usually the Father. If Mother wanted to relocate to return to the home of her family, to join her new husband at his next assignment, or to find a better paying employment position, Mother simply relocated or moved to her next city or state of residence.
Today, the issue of “relocation” has become an issue of much importance. Fathers’ rights have come to the forefront as Fathers have become more involved in the rearing of their children. My Father never changed a diaper, never bathed or dressed me or my siblings, and certainly was not involved in other parenting tasks involving “hands on” care. His primary “job” as Husband and Father was to be the breadwinner for the family!
Many Fathers of today do share in the parenting responsibilities of their children; and, some Fathers have actually been designated as the primary care-givers of their children. Recall Dustin Hoffman in Kramer versus Kramer. Thus, if a Mother decides she wants to move or relocate to another city or state, the affected Father may take an adversarial … Read More... “Relocation Issues”
Most preventable mental disorder in children is Divorce-related trauma
Divorced parents simply have no appreciation of the trauma they cause their children, most of which is totally preventable. Yes, divorce is difficult for kids, but they can successfully deal with it if they have parents who love them more than they dislike their ex-spouse.
Parents underestimate what their children feel, think and experience about the divorce process. Kids really do pick up on your subtle sarcasm, rolling of the eyes, abrupt style and frequent put downs of your ex-spouse. Why do divorced parents behave in such a terrible manner? I’ve asked that question many times to parents in my office, and I typically get a litany of the many real and perceived hurts inflicted by the ex-spouse. Bad behavior by one parent doesn’t justify retribution by the other.
Here’s what a 10-year told me recently. “They think I don’t know stuff they say about each other but I do. It hurts. It hurts a lot!”
[Reprinted by permission from the Dec. 30 edition of the Dayton Daily News, “Thoughts on children drawn from past year”, Family Wise, Gregory Ramey, PH.D.]
Gregory Ramey, PhD, is a