Share Your Responses to This Important Divorce Research Survey!
Mary Murphy is a licensed clinical social worker and a doctoral candidate in counseling psychology from Oregon. I learned about Mary’s research project and survey from reading an article about it posted by Connecticut psychotherapist Donna Ferber. I have enjoyed collaborating in the past with Donna on a number of diverse topics. In Donna’s words, “Ms. Murphy’s work is of great value as she is looking to gather data from an often overlooked population. The effects of divorce on adult children are often minimized and her research helps shed a light on this issue.”
Here is Mary’s own introduction to her survey and research project:
Assumptions, Adult Children, and Divorce
Articles and books on divorce are replete with studies and discussions about the impact of divorce on children. That is, young and adolescent children. But what about the adult children? There is an emerging focus on considerations relevant to children who are adults when their parents divorce after decades of marriage. Cracks in assumptions, such as “they will be just fine”, or “they are mature now and have their own lives”, are being called into question. Regrettably, these assumptions and many … Read More... “Divorce: Did Your Parents Marriage End When You Were 23 or Older?”
I am pleased that Donna Ferber, a psychotherapist and a frequent contributor to the Ohio Family Law Blog has agreed to co-author this article with me! Our goal is to present both the legal and emotional perspectives of a trend that we are seeing in our professional practices: long term marriages ending by divorce when the wife has come to the conclusion that she has just “had enough” and that the husband is seemingly caught “blindsided” by the situation. The intent of the article is not a male versus female point and counterpoint, but rather a collaborative discourse that can provide insight into the complexity of the issues.
In spite of his mom’s death from breast cancer two years ago, 14-year-old Damian appeared to be doing well. He was experiencing typical adolescent issues with independence and responsibility, but seemed to be working those out with his dad. Damian was starting to think about college, motivated by a desire to “always make my mom proud of me.”
Unlike many family law blogs which just share divorce information, we take a much broader view of “family law” and try to provide positive helpful information to readers about ways to help keep marriages together. Clearly, marriage is an important public and social good, associated with a broad array of positive outcomes for adults, children, and the community as a whole. Divorce proceedings should never be initiated lightly! All relationships have “ups and downs” that can sometimes be very difficult to navigate.
Here is a list of links to various online assessment tools that might be valuable for those interested in learning where they might score in areas that can frequently impact a marriage. Originally, I just intended to post an online depression assessment tool since many people going through a divorce suffer from some degree of depression. But once I started on the project, as you can see, the list kept growing. Here they all are:
Considering a multitude of differing perspectives and insights helps me to better hone my skills as a divorce lawyer. What I see and hear every day is rarely black or white, but a rainbow of shades of gray. One way of broadening my viewpoint is to read all sorts of blogs each week, an activity which I totally enjoy! Consistently, one of my favorites is Michael Mastracci’s Divorce Without Dishonor Blog. Mike is an excellent attorney from Baltimore, Maryland. His own difficult and acrimonious divorce and child custody battle led to his personal interest in collaborative family law. Attorneys and clients both should include his blog on their frequent read list. Mike regularly espouses ethical, moral and philosophical standards that we should aspire to meet. I have personally and professionally been a proponent of child welfare issues for over 30 years. So, when I read his recent post about “What We Are Teaching Our Children of Separation and Divorce,” I had to ask Mike if I could have his permission to republish it. He kindly agreed. Here it is:
I would like to share some constructive fee-cutting suggestions for you to consider implementing after you have done your “due diligence” in selecting the right attorney for you and your issues. Many of the cases I have handled over the last 30 years are family law matters which are engagements typically based upon the number of hours spent in the representation. The amount of time to complete these cases varies based upon many factors, including the nature of the issues, contentiousness of the parties, and the cooperation level existing between both counsel. Recently, I have been asked by several clients what they can do to help reduce their attorney fees. Certainly, this is an excellent question especially with money being so tight and all of us having to deal with our poor economy. Each attorney would no doubt answer this question differently. So, be sure to ask your attorney about his or her own particular preferences. Here are some of my simple tips to reduce your attorney fees: