No doubt, guilt is a big issue for many people going through a divorce. I came across an interesting article on the subject at Divorce Transitions. The author has opined that there are two separate stages:
Shock
We tend to think of “shock” as being sudden. But the dictionary tells us it can be “a disturbance in the equilibrium or permanence of something” or “a sudden or violent mental or emotional disturbance.” Therapists confirm that shock need not have the suddenness of a lightning bolt. You may have known for some time that your marriage was in trouble, but the final realization of the loss may still create a sense of shock.
Among the most common symptoms are extreme disorientation, numbness, difficulty with short-term memory, physical distress, and/or confusion. As part of denial, the divorce-bound person may seek refuge in fantasy. “He’s going to come in the front door this evening, and everything will be just like its always been.” There’s comfort in the familiar. Denial provides a necessary buffer zone in which the unconscious prepares itself for the massive change ahead.
Guilt
Although both spouses may experience feelings of guilt, they do so at somewhat different times. The … Read More... “Feeling Guilty About Your Divorce?”