One of the most difficult things you will ever have to do as a parent is tell your children that their parents are breaking up. It is important that you shift your focus from your loss to your children’s loss. Divorce is about the dissolution of a husband-wife relationship. It marks a change in the parent-child relationship. Staying aware of this difference will help you effectively support your children. In talking with your children, stay focused on their feelings about this experience. If you focus on the spousal relationship, your own feelings may get in the way of good parenting.
Here are some tips for explaining the divorce to your children:
- If possible, both parents should be present. This illustrates to the children that you will still be able to co-parent.
- Tell them close to the time that one of the parents is planning to move out. Telling them months in advance doesn’t “prepare them.” It will only make them anxious and worried.
- Tell them calmly.
- Keep it age appropriate. Don’t give them information that is over their heads.
- Keep it short and sweet.
- Explain that divorce is between the adults and that parents do not divorce children.
- Ask for