How do you handle it if after a divorce you and your Ex have different values or parenting styles? Do you hear “Mommy would let me” or “It is much more fun to live with Daddy”? Here is some great advice on this topic frequently raised by clients to their divorce lawyers. Dr. Greg Ramey, PhD, a child psychologist at Dayton Children’s Hospital and author of the Family Wise Column in the Dayton Daily News responded as follows:
Question:
My 7-year-old came back from a visit with his dad and asked me why he can do things there that he can’t do at home (e.g., stay up late, watch certain videos and eat certain types of food). I have an excellent relationship with my ex and I don’t want to say or do anything that will cause problems. I disagree with my ex on these issues but I don’t want to say that to my son.
Answer:
You can be honest with your son without criticizing your ex-husband. How about trying something as simple as this?”Grownups sometimes have different opinions on raising kids. Families may have different rules about bedtime, television and chores. I do things here that I … Read More... “Are Differing Post-Divorce Parenting Styles Causing Conflict?”
It has been six months since our first blog article appeared regarding the Montgomery County Domestic Relations Court’s “mandatory requirement” that both parents must attend a seminar intending to assist parents in understanding what each must do to help their children succeed after a divorce or dissolution. Several questions have arisen since the initial article was published, and I shall endeavor to address them.
In 2008, the IRS amended Code Section 152(e), the section which addresses the subject of the child dependency exemptions for divorced or separated parents. The old rule and procedures have been changed dramatically.
Considering a multitude of differing perspectives and insights helps me to better hone my skills as a divorce lawyer. What I see and hear every day is rarely black or white, but a rainbow of shades of gray. One way of broadening my viewpoint is to read all sorts of blogs each week, an activity which I totally enjoy! Consistently, one of my favorites is Michael Mastracci’s Divorce Without Dishonor Blog. Mike is an excellent attorney from Baltimore, Maryland. His own difficult and acrimonious divorce and child custody battle led to his personal interest in collaborative family law. Attorneys and clients both should include his blog on their frequent read list. Mike regularly espouses ethical, moral and philosophical standards that we should aspire to meet. I have personally and professionally been a proponent of child welfare issues for over 30 years. So, when I read his recent post about “What We Are Teaching Our Children of Separation and Divorce,” I had to ask Mike if I could have his permission to republish it. He kindly agreed. Here it is:
For many parents contemplating a divorce or dissolution of their marriage, a primary concern is which parent shall have “custody” of the child or children of the marriage. I shall begin the article by addressing the differences between the two parenting systems in Ohio – “sole custody” and “shared parenting”.
As we all know, the typical family from the 1950’s television shows such as “Leave it to Beaver” have become a rarity over the years. A couple celebrating their golden wedding anniversary is not so commonplace. Today, approximately fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce. In the traditional family, estates usually involve wills and the use of “joint and survivorship” ownership between husband and wife or “beneficiary designations” to ensure that upon the death of a spouse everything would pass to the surviving spouse. However, in today’s modern family, there may be a second or even third spouse and children from prior marriages. How does an individual take care of his or her current spouse yet protect his/her children from a prior marriage?
I would like to share some constructive fee-cutting suggestions for you to consider implementing after you have done your “due diligence” in selecting the right attorney for you and your issues. Many of the cases I have handled over the last 30 years are family law matters which are engagements typically based upon the number of hours spent in the representation. The amount of time to complete these cases varies based upon many factors, including the nature of the issues, contentiousness of the parties, and the cooperation level existing between both counsel. Recently, I have been asked by several clients what they can do to help reduce their attorney fees. Certainly, this is an excellent question especially with money being so tight and all of us having to deal with our poor economy. Each attorney would no doubt answer this question differently. So, be sure to ask your attorney about his or her own particular preferences. Here are some of my simple tips to reduce your attorney fees: