A Good Divorce Therapist is Critical to Your Emotional Health!

goodtherapist.jpgFor most people going through a divorce, there is no substitute for having a neutral professional by their side who is trained to listen and discuss the emotional issues relevant to a divorce.  The emotions many encounter are similar to dealing with a death or loss of a loved one.  Therapists may refer to the stages of emotion by differing names, but they are: shock, denial, anger, sadness, and finally, acceptance.

In my practice I discuss counseling with virtually every new divorce client I meet.  Many clients going through a divorce feel like their life has been completely turned upside down.  Even if the individual has some sort of a “support network”, this is usually not an adequate substitute for having a good therapist. Most friends or family members are not trained or equipped to provide objective professional guidance and steady you through the divorce process, which often can turn into a very long marathon.

I have seen over the years how important it can be to work collaboratively with a divorce client’s therapist.  The therapist is not trained in the law, and I am not trained in psychology. We each have distinctly different roles. A good therapist can help … Read More... “A Good Divorce Therapist is Critical to Your Emotional Health!”

Can a Spouse Obtain a Civil Protection Order for Verbal Abuse?

The topic for this particular article concerns Ohio’s Domestic Violence Statute which is O.R.C. Section 3113.31.  In it “domestic violence” is defined as the occurrence of one or more of the following acts against a family or household member:

  • Attempting to cause or recklessly causing bodily injury.
  • Placing another person by threat of force in fear of imminent serious physical harm or committing a violation of section 2903.311 (menacing by stalking) or section 2911.211 (aggravated trespass) of the Ohio Revised Code.
  • Committing any act with respect to a child that would result in the child being an abused child, as defined in section 2151.031 of the Ohio Revised Code.
  • Committing a sexually oriented offense as defined in section 2950.01 of the Ohio Revised Code.

Some readers may be wondering, “what is a Civil Protection Order?”  A Civil Protection Order (CPO) is an Order that can be granted by a Court upon hearing a petition alleging domestic violence.  It is initiated in the Common Pleas Court usually in the Domestic Relations Division. This is the civil counterpart to a criminal Temporary Protection Order (TPO) which is often issued against a defendant charged with a crime such as domestic violence, menacing or … Read More... “Can a Spouse Obtain a Civil Protection Order for Verbal Abuse?”

What to Bring to Your First Meeting with a Divorce Attorney

firstmeetObtaining a divorce or dissolution is a process which often needs to be broken down into stages. Once you have reached the stage when you know that the marriage is “over”, you will need to then start the process of finding a divorce lawyer. Don’t overlook the importance of this step! There are a lot of divorce lawyers out there and finding the “right” one for you can be critically important. To read our suggestions about that subject click here to read the first part of our article about how to select a divorce lawyer and click here to read the conclusion of that article.

It is always a good idea to interview several lawyers. So, once you have the appointment scheduled, what should you consider bringing? Being prepared for that initial conference is important. Recognize that you may be nervous or emotional, so having a list of all your assets, liabilities and questions is a must.

Depending upon your issues and the facts of your case, here is a list of items to consider bringing to that initial meeting:

  • Prenuptial Agreement – a copy of yours if you signed one;
  • Pay Stubs – try to bring at least the
Read More... “What to Bring to Your First Meeting with a Divorce Attorney”

Divorcing the Abuser

divab.jpgThe single most dangerous element in living with an abusive man is your denial of the problem. More women are killed by their domestic partners than by the hands of strangers. If your spouse has shown any of the signs or symptoms of being abusive, it is extremely important that you get help. Depending upon the situation, help comes in all forms from seeking counseling to calling the police. The way to find out what intervention is most appropriate for your situation is to call the women’s shelters in your area. Even if you do not need “shelter” in a physical sense, the shelters can provide you with invaluable information anonymously and for free! If you do not have a shelter in your area, chances are the closest big city will have one. All of the shelters have toll-free lines, so it doesn’t matter which one you call. All calls are kept anonymous for your safety. The caseworker at the shelter can assist you in figuring out what you need to do to be safe. Some women feel embarrassed to call the shelters; they believe they should be able to handle it themselves, or their problem is not as bad … Read More... “Divorcing the Abuser”

Divorce As A Medicaid Planning Tool?

medi_div.jpgMany happily married seniors are facing a previously unthinkable proposition:  terminate their marriage or risk losing a majority of their savings to medical expenses, leaving both of them with little savings to enjoy their twilight years, regardless of how well they planned in advance.  How can this happen?  With medical technology ever improving, allowing us to live longer, most individuals will spend at least a few years in a nursing or retirement facility during our lifetimes.  With the baby boomer generation approaching retirement age, more and more of us will fall into this category.  How will these long-term care expenses be paid?  The choices are private savings, long-term health care insurance, Medicaid or a combination.  This is where the dilemma occurs.

For example, consider a devoted husband and wife living financially comfortable in retirement.  Husband has a series of strokes and reaches the point physically where wife can no longer care for him.  He must move indefinitely into a retirement facility where staff is available to care for him on a full-time basis.  How will his care be paid?  The couple can pay for his care but at $6,000 per month or more the money can be depleted quickly.  The … Read More... “Divorce As A Medicaid Planning Tool?”

Registering an Out-of-State Decree when a Parent and Minor Children have Relocated to Ohio

relocateohio.jpgIn the days of my parents who were born in the 1920’s, persons typically lived in the small towns or cities in which they were born and remained there carrying on the family farms or businesses or following the trades or professions of their parents.  In today’s society, people are much more mobile.  Persons move to find employment, attend college, or due to military assignments.  Many individuals who have had their marriage terminated in another State may find themselves now living in the Miami Valley area.  Some of those persons are parents of minor children.  So, if Post-Decree problems occur, to which Court do they go for help or assistance?

I should explain that “Post-Decree” refers to situations which occur after the parties’ Final Judgment and Decree of Divorce or after the parties’ Decree of Dissolution of Marriage have been filed.  So, the parties’ marriage has ended but issues may continue regarding spousal support, child support, parenting time schedules, transportation, etc.   If the parties’ Final Decree of Divorce or Final Decree of Dissolution was filed in a state other than the State of Ohio, that Decree is referred to as a “foreign decree”.  It is “foreign” in the sense that … Read More... “Registering an Out-of-State Decree when a Parent and Minor Children have Relocated to Ohio”

Don’t Create Halloween Horrors for your Child!

hall10b.jpgFor many kids, Halloween is one of the most important holidays of the year. The child of divorce is faced with choices and concerns. Who will take me treat-or-treating? Who will get my costume and dress me? Where will I trick-or-treat?

Then, of course, there logistical problems for the divorced parents. By addressing these issues in advance, parents can reduce stress and not distract from the child’s positive experience. These include:

  • In two-parent homes, often one parent gives out candy while the other parent takes the child trick-or-treating. Now there is only one parent in the home. Do you stay and give out candy or do you go with your child?
  • Parents often do not specify in their divorce decree who “gets” the child on October 31. If it falls on a visitation day, some children feel disappointed that they don’t get to trick-or-treat in their own neighborhood with their friends. This is particularly true for the first Halloween, when new friends and acquaintances may not have been established in the new neighborhood.
  • Halloween reminds the parents of the reality of joint custody and that you will not share some of your child’s experiences.
  • In time, the child will grow
Read More... “Don’t Create Halloween Horrors for your Child!”
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