Your decision to create life was born in the unrestrained optimism that having children would help make your existence worthwhile. Perhaps you came from a wonderful family and wanted to give to others the gifts of love, compassion and happiness. Maybe your own childhood was not pleasant, and you wanted children to help make up for an upbringing that was filled more with distress than delight.
You did all the right things. You found a spouse that was not only a great person but also someone you felt would be a superb parent. You waited until you were financially secure, and prepared yourself by reading endless articles and talking with your friends.
However, when you actually did have your first child, you came to an uneasy insight that many parents feel but are reluctant to verbalize — raising children takes more work and you get less satisfaction than you anticipated.
For some parents, there is yet another dilemma. They are not emotionally connected to their child. Perhaps you rarely hear from your son in college. Maybe you feel you have absolutely nothing in common with your 8-year-old daughter and find work more rewarding than she is.
Perhaps you are counting … Read More... “Parents Can Experience Disconnect From Children”
This represents the third collaboration between Psychotherapist Donna F. Ferber, LPC, LADC, and myself. We both had remarked to the other about the important role that the therapist and attorney play in a divorce proceeding. Donna suggested that we both write about our perceptions on that subject. Instead of each of us writing about the merits of our own profession, we switched roles. I wrote about the importance of therapy during a divorce and Donna addressed considerations for picking a good divorce attorney. We hope this perspective provides the reader with additional information and insight regarding the need for professional support during this challenging and life-changing experience. Be sure to spend time exploring the excellent articles she has written. Her insights are terrific! Donna, as in the past, the collaboration was a lot of fun!
Driving these days can be very challenging. In addition, technological advances provide their own distractions, leaving drivers trying to split their attention between the road and the gadgets. Many experts believe that driving while texting, or “intextication”, is worse than driving drunk. In fact, studies show that 97.5% of people cannot drive safely while using cell phones. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) statistics show that roughly 16 people are killed every day in auto accidents involving a distracted driver, with over 1,300 more injured. In 2008, almost 6,000 people were killed and a half million more were injured by distracted drivers. It was a surprise to me to read a study this month that showed the American teenagers on average send 115 text messages per day. It is no wonder that authorities claim that the significant increases in texting volumes have resulted in thousands of additional road fatalities in the United States!
“Wait a minute! Did I read that right? Marriage ‘building’ advice and links to what sounds like a marriage ‘strengthening’ organization on a Divorce Attorney’s website…what’s up with that?” Those thoughts and questions may have run through your mind as you have explored our law firm’s blog and website, but you read correctly. The desire to help strengthen marriages and prevent divorce, if at all possible, may be unusual in our industry, but saving marriages and strengthening families is good for society! To that end, our website, as well as our Ohio Family Law Blog, provides people with links to pro-family organizations like Marriage Works! Ohio, an organization whose mission is helping couples strengthen their relationships.
Joel Goodman of the Humor Project in Saratoga Springs, New York, says, “Humor is what lubricates life.” Humor can help you deal with all the stressors in your life. Humor cannot erase the situation, but it can take the sting out of many things, thus reducing their negative impact. In order for humor to be curative in your life, you need to find your own laugh button. Remember, divorce is one part of your life, don’t make it your whole life!
The topic for this Family Blog Article is one that is I like to use and one that I highly recommend to clients and to other practitioners. A four (4) way settlement conference is a meeting or conference attended by both parties (Husband and Wife) and their respective attorneys. The meeting generally takes place at one of the attorney’s offices but it could be held at an absolutely neutral location such as the Bar Association, a local library, or a church having meeting rooms available for the public. The meetings can take place during normal business hours but can also be held during evening or weekend hours as no one from the Court needs to be present and no one from the Court needs to oversee or supervise the conference. Therefore, the scheduling of settlement conferences can be done to accommodate each of the parties’ schedules and their respective attorneys’ schedules.
For most people going through a divorce, there is no substitute for having a neutral professional by their side who is trained to listen and discuss the emotional issues relevant to a divorce. The emotions many encounter are similar to dealing with a death or loss of a loved one. Therapists may refer to the stages of emotion by differing names, but they are: shock, denial, anger, sadness, and finally, acceptance.