mental health Archives - Page 4 of 9

Demeanor and Behavior in Court

Last December, I posted an article entitled “How to Dress for Court – Do’s and Don’ts“. Today, my article will focus upon proper demeanor and behavior at court appearances. I will first discuss the basic “To Do List”!

The “To Do’s”

It is imperative to be on time! If the hearing is scheduled to take place at 9:00 a.m. you should be present to meet with your attorney at least fifteen minutes early. If you don’t know where you will be going, it might be a good idea to make a “trial run” beforehand. Just don’t be late…it is not excusable by the Court for a party to be “tardy” for a hearing before the Court.
If you have babies, toddlers, or young children, please find a babysitter or day care center to provide for their care. Our Courts can be crowded and the waiting areas and Courtrooms are not comfortable or conducive places for having young children. Further, you may be asked to make some important decisions at the time of your hearing. Having a baby or toddler who may be “fussy” or “irritable” may distract you with the decision-making process.
If you are already involved with

Should Teen Expose Dad’s Infidelity?

“How often do parents cheat on each other?” asked 16-year-old Jason during one of our recent sessions.

There was an uncomfortable silence for several moments. I knew this was going to be extremely difficult for Jason to handle, so I started by providing him with some facts about marital infidelity.

I told him that it was impossible to really know the answer to his question, as people are reluctant to be truthful. However, experts estimate that anywhere from 30 to 60 percent of married people have sexual relationships with someone other than their spouses.

“Do they usually get divorced once it’s discovered?” he asked.

“Not always,” I responded. “About 30 to 50 percent of the time, marriages can survive in spite of this serious problem.” He seemed reassured by my answer.

There are typically concerns behind such questions. Jason eventually told me that he had read an e-mail on his dad’s computer describing in graphic detail the sexual contact that had apparently been going on between his dad and a female friend.

Jason was emotionally traumatized after reading this letter. He felt angry at his dad, but Jason also was extremely confused about what if anything to say to his … Read More... “Should Teen Expose Dad’s Infidelity?”

When Your Ex Opts Out -Talking to Your Children When Your Former Spouse Decides to Not Parent

Consistently, one of my favorite blogs is Michael Mastracci’s Divorce Without Dishonor Blog. Mike is an excellent attorney from Baltimore, Maryland. His own difficult and acrimonious divorce and child custody battle led to his personal interest in collaborative family law. Both attorneys and clients should include his blog on their frequent read list. Mike regularly espouses ethical, moral and philosophical standards that we should aspire to meet. I have personally and professionally been a proponent of child welfare issues for over 30 years. So, when I read his recent post about “When Your Ex Opts Out – Talking to Your Children When Your Former Parent Decides to Not Parent”, I had to ask Mike if I could have his permission to republish it. He kindly agreed. Here it is:

Although most divorcing couples deeply desire a relationship with their children after the marriage dissolves, there are exceptions to this rule. Sometimes, one of the newly divorced parents feels that their life would be easier or freer if not encumbered by their children. They drop out of the picture for an unpredictable period of time, sometimes weeks or even years. The custodial parent is left to explain their actions to

Should I Get a Divorce for the Sake of My Kids?

Would my kids be better off if I got a divorce” is one of the toughest questions I have been asked in therapy. I try to help parents work through this complicated question. The answer has lifelong implications for the entire family.

Here are the five factors that I ask parents to consider:

1. Unhappy marriages can improve. Overwhelmed by the stress of work, children and a perceived lack of support from a spouse, many parents feel trapped in unhappy relationships with few prospects for improvement. Recent research by Linda Waite has challenged that assumption, finding that two-thirds of unhappy spouses who stayed together actually improved their marriages over a five-year period. Sometimes couples’ satisfaction was due to actively working on problems, but in other cases marriage partners just became more accepting of their spouses. In other situations, marital satisfaction increased when stressful events such as finances or child-rearing decreased.

2. Divorce doesn’t always bring happiness for the adults. Some of the same issues that cause an unhappy marriage can linger on after a divorce. I’ve found that many parents, both men and women, misattributed the reasons for their unhappiness. They blame their spouses for feeling unhappy or unfulfilled and … Read More... “Should I Get a Divorce for the Sake of My Kids?”

Sudden Divorce Syndrome: Reality or Myth?

I am pleased that Donna Ferber, a psychotherapist and a frequent contributor to the Ohio Family Law Blog has agreed to co-author this article with me! Our goal is to present both the legal and emotional perspectives of a trend that we are seeing in our professional practices: long term marriages ending by divorce when the wife has come to the conclusion that she has just “had enough” and that the husband is seemingly caught “blindsided” by the situation. The intent of the article is not a male versus female point and counterpoint, but rather a collaborative discourse that can provide insight into the complexity of the issues.

My legal analysis is in regular black font and Donna’s perspective as a psychotherapist is in blue italics…

Having been a divorce lawyer for over 30 years, I see recurring themes in many of my cases. Statistics show that there will be about a million divorces in the United States this year. About 75% are filed by women. More of my male clients are telling me that they are completely “blind-sided” by the divorce situation. These are individuals in long-term marriages who have honored their wedding vows, are not abusers, and … Read More... “Sudden Divorce Syndrome: Reality or Myth?”

Location of Military Service Records and How to Obtain Them

One of my all time favorite family law blogs is Updates in Michigan Family Law written by Attorney Jeanne M. Hannah. I read her posts every week even though thinking about Michigan gives me a twinge of pain as a “Buckeye”. Nonetheless, her posts are always informative and excellent! She recently posted on a topic that I felt would be of interest to our readers, especially since our law office is only a few miles from Wright-Patterson Air Force Base. With Jeanne’s kind permission, I have republished her article below.

There are times when, in a family law case, it is important to have the military personnel records of a service member. Some records from personnel files are available and stored in various locations; some records are of a medial or mental health issue. Those are kept in other locations. Some of those may be unavailable.

Most veteran’s records are stored at the National Archives and Records Administration’s National Personnel Records Center, Military Personnel Records (NPRC-MPR). This includes records of veterans who are completely discharged (with no remaining reserve commitment), or who are retired or have died. Starting in 1995, the service departments gradually began retaining their personnel records

The Importance of Financial Planners for Clients Facing Divorce or Dissolution

I generally begin my articles for our Family Blog Web Site with a definition of the topic or subject that I am addressing, and this month’s article will not deviate from that practice. Finance is defined by Webster’s New World Dictionary as being “the science of managing money”. And, Financial Planner is defined by Wikipedia as “a practicing professional who helps people deal with various personal financial issues through proper planning, which includes but is not limited to these major areas: cash flow management, education planning, estate planning, investment planning, risk management and insurance planning, tax planning, estate planning and business succession planning (for business owners). The work engaged in by this professional is commonly known as personal financial planning. In carrying out the planning function, he or she is guided by the financial planning process to create a financial plan – a detailed strategy tailored to a client’s specific situation, for meeting a client’s specific goals.”

Jay Buckingham, CFP, of Buckingham Financial Group has been my personal Financial Planner for over ten (10) years. In order to assist me with the preparation of this article, I recently met with Jay to discuss his role as a Financial Planner. I … Read More... “The Importance of Financial Planners for Clients Facing Divorce or Dissolution”

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